To never invite this annoying little brat round again

[LolaTheDarkdestroyer]

Dds friend (9) is round for dinner... know she is a fussy fucker but her mum did tell me she eats anything. Cue today Shepard pie , after picking all the peas out of the damn thing she proceeds to sit at the table making super loud ewww, and yuck noises, while moaning she doesn't like it. There are 5 other kids sat round the table ffs.

She had also completely ignored anything my dd has wanted to do and just buggered off with the other kids, keeps just picking my newborn up without asking, moaning to play on my iPad and get the rabbits out when it's pissing down. I could go on I actually had to leave the room while dinner was happening!
Never known anything like it!

Yeah In my opinion. The way you're talking it seems you really think this kid is some sort of serial killer in the making!

Oooh, she sucked the baby's dummy and wouldn't eat her dinner Call the cops... Here, calm down while you're getting that grip.

Like I said I stand by what I said, I was that angry that that is how I felt about her.

You know, I don't think it's me that needs to calm down and get a grip.

Your calibration is off if you think there is anything normal - humour, curiosity or otherwise - about asking someone to dig up their dead pet.

And my 2 year old wouldn't put the babies dummy in her mouth. Why the fuck would a nine year old girl feel the need to? And as said before it wasn't the dinner it was the rudeness.

Strange, I'll leave you to it. Honestly, if you can jump from digging up a dead hamster to the place you've gone in your mind, there is nothing I can say. I just don't agree with you.

Lola, I get it. I do. She pissed you off. Maybe justified, as I say only you were there.

The dummy thing. Well, she hasn't had the experience of having a newborn at home with her. Maybe her lack of understanding, or worse case scenario, understanding and doing it anyway because she was hyper or showing off whatever, is a big jump to what others here (not you necessarily) have suggested.

Anyway, not much more I can say. Only, she's a kid. A kid who obviously doesn't play well in your home. So, no, YANBU to not invite her back again. BUT, some of the opinions on this thread have been more than unreasonable, they've been out of order.

Strange, I'll leave you to it. Honestly, if you can jump from digging up a dead hamster to the place you've gone in your mind, there is nothing I can say. I just don't agree with you.

??? You are the one insisting there's nothing wrong with it. My mind's in a perfectly fine place, thanks.

I get that you're upset, angry and confused about the behaviour of this child. Please remember she is very much a child and will remain so for almost another 9 years and is therefore only half way there.

A mother spoke to her child about my dd when dd was 5 in a way that suggested my dd had denigrated her terribly. The mother told me what was said and the mother demonstrated her reaction whilst simultaneously denying that anything bad had been said about dd. As a result, the friendship ended and the girl refused to play with dd for 6 months. They were inseparable best friends at the time and dd was devastated. This was the result of something I misunderstood, which happened at my house on a playdate, which I told the mother, explained it had little impact and she spun it into something it wasn't. It was an awful experience for my dd.

I really hope you are not speaking about this child to your children in the same way as this woman spoke about my dd. Please please go and speak to the mother as soon as you can. It sounds as though the girl needs help, not scorn.

Perhaps you need to vent and I understand. It must have been an awful experience for you and your children. But this girl is a child and it sounds as though she is lacking care, direction, guidance and support when I think your children have all of these things.

Yep op you're clearly the one out of order, the girls behaviour obviously wasn't that bad

To be honest you should just tell the parents you called her an annoying little brat and they wouldn't let her go to your house again anyway. I know I wouldn't. She's a child and sometimes children can be naughty. Just don't invite her round again. No need to get so angry over something so petty.

I hardly call getting a six tear old to dig up a dead pet petty but hey ho I'm wrong.

Throwing toys down the stairs, going into a bedroom an adult us getting changed in and not wanting to leave, asking ops dd to dig up her pet so she could play with It, being rude about the food and ignoring being told not to pick up the baby more than once, taking the baby's food away from them as she wanted to pick her up again, trying to wrest the buggy from op 5 times and being rude to ops other child all in the space of a few hours is far from 'petty' behaviour.
I certainly wouldn't appreciate that from a 9 year old who is old enough to know how to behave in someone else's house.

Exactly willow.

I would feel the same OP. Never again!

As a child my friend's little brother was a demon. His crimes involved intentional weeing in our dens, pouring a plant pot of soil down the neck of an elderly visitor and running ahead with the key, opening front door then locking out his mother and other siblings. He also used to climb to the tops of trees and refuse to come down unless bribed. And make prank 999 calls.

He was NT just a total naughty pain! Some kids are.

My DD once unwittingly pissed off a chum's Mum and said Mum took her into another room and bawled her out. DD spent the rest of the afternoon really tense and upset, cried all the way home and never went there again. Such a shame as the children had been friends for years. I was really pissed off with the Mum for her aggression towards my DD who, IMO, is a lovely, happy, bright character. If the mum had taken me aside for a quiet word and left any necessary discipline to me we might all still be friends. I think you did right to button it down and other Mum has been apologetic. I would recommend a proper adult to adult chat if you want to keep contact.

I've been thinking about telling the mum everything all day..I just don't think I can. When I collected earlier the girl was all over the baby again holding everyone up..her class mates even said something to her. She is a proper handful, that's why I don't get why her mum didn't warn me.

Maybe I am a wimp/ people pleaser but cannot envisage at any stage of my life ever expressing a negative opinion about food I have been served as a guest. Remember forcing down all manner of stuff as a kid to be polite when at "tea" as it was then at a friend's house when at primary school..

@KERALA1 I'm the same. I hate seafood, mushrooms and funky cheeses but would always make a strong effort to eat them politely without making any awful "yuck" and retching noises.
I have a vivid recollection of a friend's mum making macaroni cheese with loads of Stilton cheese. I was sweating and looked positively green eating that. In fact, I shudder at the thought of simple mac/cheese now, 25 years later. And I have no problem with cheddar, macaroni, cheese sauce and whatever else goes in big standard Mac/Cheese. But I would still be polite and try to eat it.

My three kids have been raised the same way. They'll have a damned good try and if they really, really can't eat it, they're at least bloody polite about it!

They'll have a damned good try and if they really, really can't eat it, they're at least bloody polite about it!

Exactly.

Omg this kid sounds delightful!!!!
My DD had a 'best friend' who was spoilt, to the point of that girl from Willy Wonka. She actually used to stamp her foot if I didn't do what she wanted!!! Her parents completely overindulged her (tooth fairy brought her a Barbie for each tooth etc...)
We have four kids and one income. We live modestly, and after a few play dates, I figured out this kid just wasn't for us. So we suddenly became very busy every time they asked about a play date.

Luckily, they moved last summer and so we don't even have to see them at school. My daughter still remembers her and ask, but no way!!! She is absolutely not welcome in this house!

And, cottage pie is a firm family favourite in this house! My kids devour it!

My son has ASD, but he knows damn well not to say 'Yuk!' turn up nose at what's offered, demand the host fork out for a takeaway, etc and he's only 8! He has sensory issues, but knows as a guest if you don't like what's offered you say, 'No, thank you,' or 'May I have a slice of toast, please? I have ASD and find eating a challenge sometime.' This kid is 14.

You don't sound that well equipped to deal with play dates OP. Most adults would feel confident to tell a 9 year old to drop the unwanted behaviour or call the play to an early close if it were that bad.
You didn't like her rude noises at the table so you left the room, like a flouncy teenager! How about "please don't make that noise play date kid, it's rude and unpleasant. If you don't like the food please put your knife and fork down and wait for us to finish".
Clearly better to run upstairs and start a thread!
You sound really immature - do everyone a favour and don't host again. If you can't give constructive feedback to another parent you shouldn't be in charge of kids, you don't sound mature enough.

Sorry, wrong thread.

Well said gogo