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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.

767 replies

Light69 · 16/05/2017 06:41

I am not sure if my dh was being unreasonable for shouting at him this morning so here it goes. Not 100% sure if it is my neighbours eldest son or there daughters boy friend. He sleeps there most nights but doesn't appear to have house keys, I know this because he sits in his car at the bottom of my drive waiting to be let in. So he went through a stage of what ever side of the drive I parked in he would park directly behind me across the bottom of the drive blocking me in. This made it difficult to get off the drive as I was blocked in and had to kind of edge backwards and forwards to move the car to the otherside of the drive to reserve off it safely. We have a dropped kerb that runs the whole width of the drive but this didn't seem to bother him. I started reversing on to make it easier to pull off and out of the blue he stopped doing it. He has now moved on walking through our front garden to get to and from this car. So he comes out of their house steps over a small wall and walks right over my front door step and behind my car. He will push my kitchen windows in if they are open wide so he can fit behind the car easier then trotts off down the drive. On occasion if we have been leaving at the same time he has bumped into my dc or I have had to step back to stop him walking into me, I have asked him to stop but he doesn't. So this morning when dh was leaving for work he did it again and dh lost his temper and shouted at him and swore a bit, was dh in the wrong for this and how would you deal with the situation?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 10:24

I have moved the pots one is now to the left of dinning room window, one one the middle and the other the opposite end of the kitchen window. When there is a car parked there now it totally blocks his path no matter what space you are in. Hopefully he gets the message loud and clear. I shall know come 2:30pm When he is back from work, I shall be sitting on the sofa in the dinning room watching!

OP posts:
elephantscansing · 16/05/2017 10:28

He's being completely unreasonable and doing it just to wind yu up. what a nob.

Go round to the neighbours, tell them exactly what's been going on, get them to have a word with him. Next time he does it, just shout at him. Physically stop him from getting on your garden: 'Oy, you! That's private property! Get off.'

No wonder your h shouted.

He sounds horrible. Lucky NDN daughter Hmm

Funnyface1 · 16/05/2017 10:28

I could not have stood this for as long as you have. I would definitely have spoken up about blocking you in but it sounds like that one is resolved. Go round there and speak to the home owners. Then if it carries on inform him that you will be contacting the police because he is trespassing on private property. Definitely feel free to open your windows at an opportune moment if he carries on. And use trellis and plant pots absolutely. Inconsiderate little prat.

BillyButtfuck · 16/05/2017 10:30

This is awful, what a belligerent man! I'd take a photo of him doing it just in case you do need to escalate it further, though I am hopeful a chat with NDN will resolve this.

Tazerface · 16/05/2017 10:30

Say it again. If he looks blankly say louder, do oh understand? Stop walking across my property. If you get no response again, just go over the next door.

Pretty sure he'll respond and apologise before he'll let you knock on their door!

Willow2017 · 16/05/2017 10:36

Stop being nice and contact the local police. This is harrassment, he is trespassing and banging into people in YOUR garden without a care in the world.

Betting the plants wont stop him at all he will step over them and damage your plants in the process.

Yell at him every time to get off your property.
Take his photo and call the police. Sending someone round to have a word is better than waiting for him to do something else and it escalate. And lets be honest he Isnt going to stop no matter how many times you tell him.

Freddystarshamster · 16/05/2017 10:42

It is not harassment. There is no way this would pass the "reasonable person" test. It simply wouldn't. Trespass is a civil offence so wouldn't be a police matter either.

JanetBrown2015 · 16/05/2017 10:48

You could sue for trespass. I would just make it very very hard to get into your garden through physical measures however.

If he's a temporary boy friend just be a bit careful because if this leads to a dispute with your neighbours which lasts years it may not be worth the later problems.

MrsJamesMathews · 16/05/2017 10:49

What an arsehole!!!

What you need is to plant some of these...

www.wykehammatureplants.co.uk/products/firethorn

And in the meantime, pop one of these little fellows on the wall.

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.
BillyButtfuck · 16/05/2017 10:51

Is there anyway penguin bollards could be incorporated into his usual route?

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 10:57

I have filled the pots with soil so they won't blow over in the wind today. Will update what happens when he arrives back at 2:30 as there is absolutely no way he can get through so he will just have to go back down the garden and walk round on the pavement like a normal person. I hope he doesn't have the cheek to climb over the pots as that would be beyond rude. They are a good 80cm tall I would say with roughly the same diameter so they are not small by any means.

OP posts:
Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 10:58

What are penguin bollards?

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smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 16/05/2017 10:59

I have a German Shepherd you can borrow, he's a trained security dog and I'm sure would love the opportunity to play with the annoying twat!

In all seriousness I'd talk to your neighbours

InfiniteSheldon · 16/05/2017 11:00

If you know what time he comes home stand at the end of your drive and talk to him. Tell him you find it intrusive and rude. Tell him he is being weird and you don't want to fall out but this behaviour needs to stop. Present him with a bill for dry cleaning your dh's shirt and perhap say this is the last time you will ask politely as your dh is now furious.

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 11:04

No I won't be standing waiting for him outside it is blowing a gale and pouring with rain. I will just watch his reaction from my window when he tries to get through and can't.

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ADayGivingMeHope · 16/05/2017 11:05

Shamelessly place marking for the arsehole next doors return!

If he'd bumped into MY DC on MY property I'd have lost it and screamed at him tbh but then my child's safety is worth that much and much more to me.
Your DH was right - He deserved yelling at.

justbinthefeckinbyebyebox · 16/05/2017 11:07

I'd also say get in touch with local PCSOs, ours are really good.
We had trespasses in our garden and they sorted it in no time!
He knows what he is doing so tresspass/harassment whatever
he can get away with. Take down his car number plate to make
finding him easier, and make a note of times and what he does.

Nobody should have to put up with this.

MrsJamesMathews · 16/05/2017 11:07

You know he's just going to climb over, don't you? Because clearly this guy doesn't do 'normal'.

You need to confront him.

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.
Cuppaoftea · 16/05/2017 11:08

He's being passive aggressive to you in particular and getting a kick out of it by the sounds of it.

Pots, trellis, raise and plant up the border. Every time he tries it when you're there firmly and loudly challenge him so all the neighbours can hear. 'As I've said previously stop trespassing on our property. I am trying to get the children in my car on my drive and this isn't the first time you've interfered with that. Walk down your own drive to get to your car.' And repeat.

Shame him out of it. Knock on the neighbours door and politely raise it with them.

If he starts blocking your car in again and a word with the neighbours doesn't sort it then call the police to speak to him.

nInachu · 16/05/2017 11:09

waiting with interest. You have been far too nice so far.

I'd have got an electric fence and barbed wire by now!

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 11:16

I don't think he will go over the plant pots. He may well walk around the first one as dh car won't be parked there but if he climbed over the second one I have parked in such way that he will end up having to climb over my car bonnet to get where he is looking to go. I am litetally parked an inch from the bush under the window with mm's to spare either side of the other 2 pots.

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MadamePomfrey · 16/05/2017 11:17

Another vote for speaking to the neighbors they probably have no idea and I doubt he wants to look like a complete arse! He will step over the pots if course he will

Elphaba99 · 16/05/2017 11:17

Freddystarshamster If the persistent trespass/bumping into dcs/making DH spill coffee/blank stare and non-responsiveness of the trespasser could be construed by the OP as causing alarm or distress - or IS causing alarm or distress then it is harassment. Simple as. And trespass can be an offence in both civil and criminal law. The OP could request that the offender is issued with a first case harassment warning.

Mind you, I would recommend recording/photographing the behaviour and documenting your interactions, OP.

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 11:19

Now if he does have the cheek to climb over my bonnet I will not hesitate in calling the police as that sure would be vandalism or criminal damage. I have never walked across a car bonnet but I would image the body weight of a full grown man would cause it to dent but I may be wrong.

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BillyButtfuck · 16/05/2017 11:20

I'd have your phone camera at the ready, just in case.