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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour constantly walking through my front garden.

767 replies

Light69 · 16/05/2017 06:41

I am not sure if my dh was being unreasonable for shouting at him this morning so here it goes. Not 100% sure if it is my neighbours eldest son or there daughters boy friend. He sleeps there most nights but doesn't appear to have house keys, I know this because he sits in his car at the bottom of my drive waiting to be let in. So he went through a stage of what ever side of the drive I parked in he would park directly behind me across the bottom of the drive blocking me in. This made it difficult to get off the drive as I was blocked in and had to kind of edge backwards and forwards to move the car to the otherside of the drive to reserve off it safely. We have a dropped kerb that runs the whole width of the drive but this didn't seem to bother him. I started reversing on to make it easier to pull off and out of the blue he stopped doing it. He has now moved on walking through our front garden to get to and from this car. So he comes out of their house steps over a small wall and walks right over my front door step and behind my car. He will push my kitchen windows in if they are open wide so he can fit behind the car easier then trotts off down the drive. On occasion if we have been leaving at the same time he has bumped into my dc or I have had to step back to stop him walking into me, I have asked him to stop but he doesn't. So this morning when dh was leaving for work he did it again and dh lost his temper and shouted at him and swore a bit, was dh in the wrong for this and how would you deal with the situation?

OP posts:
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burdog · 16/05/2017 11:21

I think you need to get your coat on and firmly tell him he is not allowed on your property unless he is invited. I would make him go back the way he came if he is already in your garden, but I'm comfortable with calmly challenging people.

Seeingadistance · 16/05/2017 11:24

I think you should be ready to take photographs or film him as it sounds as if he might just climb over your car to get round.

For what it's worth, I also wonder if he has SEN as this behaviour is so odd, but doesn't seem to be done deliberately to antagonise. But then, to have got to adulthood, makes that seem rather less likely as even if he weren't able to see that this was inappropriate, his family would be monitoring his behaviour and making sure he didn't do it.

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 11:24

I don't want to confront him myself if I am honest. This is irrelevant to the garden situation but I am 32 weeks pregnant with a complicated pregnancy due to very low laying placenta have been on bed rest a lot, just don't want ti risk getting knocked by this idiot.

OP posts:
DisgruntledGoat · 16/05/2017 11:25

I think another diagram is needed to show new layout of plant pots [big grin]

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 11:28

Yes I will have my phone to the ready though for if he does have the cheek to scale over my bonnet. With video evidence he could deny it. I honestly don't think he has SEN he drives and holds down a full time job so even if he does have SEN he can obviously follow some instructions and function in the outside world.

OP posts:
Fragglez · 16/05/2017 11:39

Oh op, if he has to go past your door to get to the car / pot blockade please please please wait for him to go past and then open the door and wait for his return so he has to go past you being Hmm and hands on hips, please! Possibly with a 'and don't do it again' thrown in for good measure!

Please?

Grin
TheMaddHugger · 16/05/2017 11:54

OP. Have YOU been at every encounter with this 'Lad'

Could he be trying to create encounters with you ?

He's parked behind Your car etc.

Just curious

confuugled1 · 16/05/2017 11:57

Just about to suggest that you have your phone ready to film him when he comes past/clambers over the pots - but seeingadistance has just beaten me to it.

I wouldn't hide the fact that you're filming him either - if he is brazen enough to walk over your garden every day then he should expect it.

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 12:14

TheMaddHugger he walks through the garden every single time he goes out to his car no matter who is in. Weekends it is continuous in out in out all bloody day.

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 16/05/2017 12:21

Ok, Then that's not it. He's just being a Prick.

leighb23 · 16/05/2017 12:22

A 10 year old climbing over a car causes damage. I KNOW this as we had it done to our car by some little shits where we used to live. So a (uses the term VERY loosely) grown man definitely will. X

TheViceOfReason · 16/05/2017 12:39

I genuinely don't understand why you've let things get to this stage without just knocking on the neighbours front door and talking to them? Surely that is the obvious course of action?

Willow2017 · 16/05/2017 12:41

Of course its harrassment, he has bumped into ops kids, spilt hot coffee over her dh, closes her kitchen window because its in his way, parked behind her car, uses her garden as his personal walkway despite being told numerous times not to.

It is causing op distress thats all it needs to be to be harassment. Plus the bumping into could be seen as assault as he had no business being there in the first place. He could have scalded dh if the coffee was fresh and dh had only a t shirt on.

Local police will come out and have a word if necessary. You shouldnt have to put up with this in your own home.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 16/05/2017 12:42

Weekends it is continuous in out in out all bloody day

I'm surprised you or your Dh have tolerated this so farShock.

If the plant pot doesn't deter him you or Dh have to go to the neighbours when he's there, have a face to face discussion and tell him to keep off your property.

deugain · 16/05/2017 12:47

Pyracantha - firethron - worked for my parents. They didn't have a wall but a clearly marked boundary.

Last house we had a drive slightly higher than neighbours so clearly marked - but way neighbours parked was often easier for visitors to come up or drive and get to their back garden gate than go up between neighbours cars.

Except when our drive had visitor cars or our side opening garage door was open - usually with us out there working. Our friends and family were bemused they'd walk up further side of our visitor car and then moan about squeezing between the car and the garage to get to next door drive. Harder to do than go up correct drive.

Or walk up our drive when we had side garage door open so clearly impassible to get to neighbour drive - completely ignore us and stand and stare at door then moan as they walked back down and up neighbour drive which they could have done in first place. Never spoke to us - as we were often out there and would ignore us if we said hello.

Clearly so used to being able to access though our drive us using our drive was completely unreasonable Hmm.

You need to discourage him thinking this is normal or acceptable.

Your DH shouting - plants tubs making it hard, cttv if your worried about cars being damaged, quick work with neighbour if reasonable -our weren't in fact they encouraged their visitors - having a word with community officer - all sound like possible ways forward to me if this continues.

Scentofwater · 16/05/2017 12:54

If he continues this weekend and there is nice weather perhaps your children would like a water fight? You can play too by standing by upstairs window dropping water bombs on them. If he then decides to walk past and you drop a water bomb on him then that's his lookout.

Original poster
Light69 · 16/05/2017 12:59

I love the water bomb idea the dc do love them and a few larger balloons filled with water added to the mix would be great fun. I am actually hoping that between dh shouting at him this morning and the addition of the 3 over sized plant pots he gets the message and stops. However I have a feeling it won't be that simple.

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 16/05/2017 13:06

WTF deugain . Do you live near the OP ?

JanetBrown2015 · 16/05/2017 13:12

What about a sprinkler which only goes on your land? I had one up a few years ago (obviously just on my own land). Then he would get wet when he went by. I am thinking of cattle electric fencing too but that might be going a bit far....

deugain · 16/05/2017 13:13

TheMaddHugger - we've moved since then. I have nice neighbours now and a front drive with waist high walls. It's such a relief in so many little ways Smile.

PovertyPain · 16/05/2017 13:14

My local police would come out for a complaint about that. They'd make it very clear to him that his behaviour is unacceptable.

deugain · 16/05/2017 13:16

Jet Spray Battery Operated Motion Activated Cat Scarer & Repellent - Animal Repeller

Maybe you could deter some next door visitors and cats?

scootinFun · 16/05/2017 13:20

A combination of a sprinkler and some lovely thorny old fashioned roses in the pot plants could be a winner!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 16/05/2017 13:23

How about some anti burglar paint on the pots??

Rubyslippers7780 · 16/05/2017 13:35

Can not believe how weird people are. There is no way this is an obvious route. He is doing it to annoy you.

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