Husband moans whilst eating.

[CrapTonOfKids]

I can't stand it! It's like this quiet, almost inaudible groan. A bit of a sex noise if I'm honest. I can't sit next to him at the dinner table because it makes me want to stab him with my fork. Speaking of which, he also holds his fork like a toddler, scooping with his fist facing downwards. I didn't pay much attention in the beginning of our relationship. Now I can't bear to watch him eat. His mother does it too. She gesticulates at the table with her cutlery in her hands! I caught one of our kids doing it, so being a responsible mother, I explained the importance of good table manners. It is important right? Please tell me I ANBU?

My 8 year old does mmm mmm mmm noises when she's eating something lovely. She also wiggles in her seat. It is cute now but I'll stop her when she's older.

I would try to nip it in the bud now, Rockybird, while it is still relatively easy.
My son does this thing where he kind of turns his head sideways and snaps at the food in a way that reminds me of an alsation.
I just give him a very special look and he knows what I mean.

My ex used to smack his lips together. He also sniffed all the fucking time. Having to spend some time with him due to ill child and it's made me realise how happy I am to live without these fucking habits!!

I really try to avoid mealtimes with my husband. He commits many of the above dining infractions. Teeth scraping fork (arrrggh!)!face close to plate, shovel holding. I have nagged and nagged to no avail except make mealtimes really stressful for me so I just eat elsewhere now. He thinks I am crazy as misophonia is a mental illness.
I have also banned crisp eating around me (dh not dc).

And him.

My daughter (21) makes the same noise as a cow chewing cud when she eats. It's only started in the last year or so, though, so I'm wondering if she's picked the habit up from the "boyfriend". However, I find it extremely difficult to be in the same room as her when she's eating - she also chews with her mouth open and her attention riveted upon her cell'phone (which I also suspect has become physically attached to her hand in some way, as she's never seen without it). I swear she was taught "proper table manners" as a child

My father sniffs at the table and literally hoovers up his food. He piles his plate high with food at the table, then shoves an entire (ie, not cut with a knife and fork, simply stabbed and shoved into his mouth) roast spud, fresh from the oven, into his mouth. He'll then realise how hot it is and do this really weird open mouth "huh-huh-huh" thing as he tries to suck in cool air to stop his mouth/tongue from burning off because of the lava-esque spud. All the time, my mother is staring at him with a look of absolute disgust upon her face. They've been married for 45 years, and I know he's always done this throughout my life, so... it's a wonder he's not been stabbed with my mother's fork once or twice. A few years ago, he got a spud stuck in his windpipe and started choking at the table. Collapsed, unconscious, 999 call. My mother sat there very calmly at the table, still eating, until my daughter and I (both first aid trained) flew out of our seats yelling instructions at my son to call an ambulance as my father slid out of his chair and onto the floor, going purple. In hindsight, maybe she was thinking that she'd finally be able to eat a Sunday lunch without sniffing and air hoovering noises going on beside her. Fortunately, my father was okay and didn't need hospital treatment (he regained consciousness pretty quickly and kept saying "all I can remember is you holding my hand contrary13..." as though it's never happened before!), but it frightened my son to the point where he refused to eat foods that he perceived as a choking hazard for a while. My father cut his spuds for a few weeks until my son was eating properly again... then resumed his hoovering antics.

I thought my husband was annoying by alternating between eating off his fork and then eating off his knife, as if the fork couldn't be refreshed with food fast enough. I shall now consider myself lucky that he doesn't moan with pleasure at the same time!

Dear god he's not called Brian is he? Used to have a housemate a long long time ago that did this. Utterly repulsive.

The total of what he collects using both methods couldn't amount to more than an eighth of a teaspoonful, so why bloody bother?

Exactly, Shodan, I really don't know why they bother. The noise is so irritating as well with all the scraping. I can actually hear it from another room if something is being eaten alone!

For scooping or purely eating with a fork, this photo demonstrates holding a fork like an adult as opposed to Ruprecht!

Brittbugs80 I would hold my fork like this not like that other photos where the fist envelopes the handle.

This thread has just made me howl laughing.

OMG I thought it was just my dh. He used to come to bed really stoned in the early hours with about 100 chocolate bars and noisily moan whilst eating them and rustling the wrappers. The sheer boiling rage it gave me .

Believeitornot

What types of food are you feeding him? Is it all easily inhaled?

The closing the mouth thing is important. Perhaps you could make that something you use a reward chart for with a treat at the end of a set time. He needs some motivation to stop doing it.

I used to tell mine around the age of 2/3, this is how we eat, copy. Only takes a few goes. I think they'd inherited that condition thing to of blood boil when other kids made lots of noises.

Worst case I know is my loveliest friend who not only makes sloshy, swishy, noshy noises, but eats with mouth open, talks/laughs same time for to to drool. I feel so guilty as I really think she can't help it! It really makes me feel bit gaggy but I'd rather not offend her. Dp can not abide it at all and will slip off out of the room and laughs at my sufferance!

Ultimate worst for me is parents who don't wipe big shots off their little ones at the table! It takes a second! One couples child had green snorts there so long, whilst he was trying to eat, I had no choice but to quickly do it myself- restraining myself from wrenching .

My mother sat there very calmly at the table, still eating, until my daughter and I (both first aid trained) flew out of our seats yelling instructions at my son to call an ambulance as my father slid out of his chair and onto the floor, going purple. In hindsight, maybe she was thinking that she'd finally be able to eat a Sunday lunch without sniffing and air hoovering noises going on beside her.

Contrary13

Your poor mother! I can't believe this happening didn't change your father's eating habits!

Omg I don't think I could take it. You have to tell him to stop!! 🙉

Others posts have made me laugh so much, I feel everyone's pain. Is it just eating noises ? Constsnt sniffing makes me want to slightly punch Dp

My dd aged 9 does this. It is more of a humming noise but can be quite loud. She has been doing it since she was a baby and has no awareness whatsoever that she does it so really hard to get her to stop. She also tends to shovel food into her mouth and not chew properly so we do think there is sensory stuff going on cos she also tends to chew her clothes. I do need to work on stopping the behaviour before she starts seriously irritating people

I'm not shy about reminding my kids and husband to shut their mouths. I'd expect my mum to say the same to me.

DH had a very poor (poor as in, not great parents) upbringing, so things I see as normal he was just never taught. Like chewing with his mouth closed.

I'm not joking though when I said to him if he didn't learn to eat with his mouth shut out relationship would go nowhere .

My DH eats relatively quietly and normally unless it's pizza. Then he puts far too much in, far too hot and does that awful mouth half open, sucking in cool air and rolling it around his mouth thing. I now only allow pizza if we have it in front of the TV with the volume way up and him sat in the opposite corner so I don't have to look in his direction!

My ex husband used to eat like a pig. He would scoop his food into his mouth and then spend half an hour, after the meal, burping because he had not digested his food properly. He used to burp like Homer Simpson. His mother was the same type of eater. YANBU - you keep up with teaching your kids decent table manners. Just because dad is a pig, does not make it acceptable.

I also have ... someone close to me ... who has started eating more and more slurpily, doing the inhaling food off the cutlery with every bite. I've snapped and gotten a really hurt response. Said person just does not understand how annoying it is. It's not large noises but it's cut cut slurp, cut cut slurp the whole time. Like a neighbour's dog, barking at irregular intervals. It's driving us all around the bend. My table manners are far from impeccable but I mean REALLY. I'm a tolerant person, eat with your fingers if you want but do.not.inhale.off.the.fork.

LOL @ inhaling cornflakes, sex noises, etc
This thread has reminded me of of dogs eating spaghetti (MNers would be the GSD, the DHs would be the Goldie). The slow mo at 1:40 is particularly satisfying

Waiting - they eat in separate rooms unless we're over for lunch every other Sunday. Ironically, I know that my father was taught table manners, because my grandmother was very upper-class and very etiquette based. Maybe this is his way of rebelling? He did change for a few weeks, once we'd got through to him how frightened my son was by having watched him almost die (seriously, if we'd not dislodged that spud, he might have, it was that close - the wonderful paramedics gave him oxygen when they turned up and did a few observations and he was fine by then. I don't think he fully lost consciousness - because he can remember my holding his hand as my daughter and I heaved him over into the recovery position - so maybe that was why they didn't cart him off to hospital), and how it was affecting my son's eating habits. Then, as soon as my son started to eat properly again... the hoovering/sniffing began.

But 45 years of it.

I don't blame her for eating in another room, to be honest. I used to, too, when I still lived at home. Except that was blamed on me being an anti-social teenager... when actually it was because I couldn't go through an entire meal listening to my father sniff without blowing his nose. He's a lovely man, my father. He really is. He just has appalling table manners... seemingly through choice

I had a girl at Uni do that. We told her about it and she wouldn't change her ways. We ended up making her eat her dinner in her bedroom.

Record it, play it back to your husband & if he doesn't change, then introduce something playful, but authoritative. Perhaps splashing him a small water pistol every time he does it? That will teach him!