MIL watering down my fairy liquid

[Whack]

The thread title sounds trivial and I know it is but it's driving me nuts. DH and I have recently celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary and this has been ongoing throughout married life.

MIL is on her own, and only really has us. She is a 20 minute bus ride away and will come to our house approx 4 times a week to see DH who WFH. (This annoys me as if he's working she should let him work IMO. He's too soft to tell her he is busy as if he does she flounces off telling him he's rude.)

She means well but IMO has an issue with boundaries. Her issue is, she doesn't have any boundaries. She likes to "help" although I've never asked for any of the help. DH however does appreciate it and for the sake of peace I have stopped making a fuss about her coming to our house when I'm at work and cleaning. It's tricky because I appreciate some elements of it but the boundaries are non existent, eg. Folding my knickers in my knicker drawer, leaving little items for us she thinks will be useful (but I just see as clutter) etc. Some things like hoovering and cooking are appreciated so for the most part I bite my tongue although I wish she would ask me first instead of doing it all the time.

She is quite sensitive to any kind of confrontation/ questioning and would be deeply aggrieved if I said this and/ or just ignore me and carry on. Also DH is wonderful in many ways but very over protective of his mother and thinks I'm being mean if I criticise her over any of this.

One thing in particular I want to put a stop to is she always waters down our fairy liquid. So the first few days worth of squirts are normal and then one at you turn up the bottle and go to squirt some in the sink and it pours out like water. It's so annoying! Also I resent that she does it in my home! It's a small thing but it's bloody maddening.

How can I stop this in a sensitive way? I don't want to upset her and I sometimes think I should put up with it as anyone will think it's really petty, but I don't like watery washing up liquid!

If you leave your spare cheap bottle out, she won't have cause to look for the bottle you actually use, so keeping it under the sink would be safe - but you do have to have a bottle out, which she can water down with equanimity.

As for the nicker drawer, the only solution involves a lock, either on the drawer or on the doot.

Or you could get forms for emigrating to Australia, and leave them half filled in, in your knicker drawer.

Planting stuff in your garden

I know. It was the first garden that was mine all mine (XH's too I suppose but he didn't care) and the bed was empty while I decided what I wanted there.

And it wasn't bloody begonias

This has delighted me. I have been reading out the best bits to my newborn, who couldn't give a flying fuck. But we can't have everything.

The stealth-begonia PILs remind me of my old neighbour. She used secretly to sprinkle hollyhock seeds on everyone's front garden because she thought it looked nice when the whole street had them. My landlord found this very annoying, so she asked us to help her hoodwink him with her nefarious plans.

Tangent aside - OP, the plan about throwing away the 'faulty' fairy is clearly genius. Please do it.

I had a friend with a snooping MIL who read their mail. She actually went into drawers to dig out letters and reas them but maintain she would never do such a thing...

The friend put a fuck ton of glitter into the letters and folded them so that once opened it was glitter everywhere. She also removed the fuse from the hoover so MIL couldn't cover her tracks. Wish I had been a fly on the wall with her trying to get hoover to work.

Oooh Shodan I feel your pain! It's the only tactless thing my DDDM ever does, unsolicited gardening - aaargh!

But OP, OMG. I would be driven demented by this. And really hurtful of your DH IMO not to take your irritation more seriously. I am close to my DM and she's here a lot, but I check in with DH regularly to make sure he's happy about it. Luckily he genuinely likes her.

DH knows I am not so comfortable with his DM and he gets when I feel her presence is an imposition. But its only a couple of times a year - I feel terrible for moaning (which I do, a little bit, though it is different sorts of irritation - attention hogging rather than domestic intrusion) - after reading what you are subjected to. OMG No Way does anyone go in my bedroom cupboards

Bertrand she is folding her knickers that are already in the drawer and when asked is denying it. So yeah I think op would be pretty reasonable to get mad with her, she's being a dick.

Tell her you already water it down - take cheap liquid put it in a fairy bottle , water it down, place out in the day and you use the secret sink stash x

Either put a large sign on the bottle saying "Please do NOT water this down, or hide it properly and leave a bottle of Lidl's cheapest out instead on her usual days for coming round.

And for goodness sake, lock your bedroom door.

Is she there when you get home? If so, rush up the stairs calling "I'm just going to sort out my knicker drawer!".if she says she hasn't touched them, then tell dh/dc it must be that goblin, that nasty ugly drooling goblin who does it. Lay it on thick.

Fluffy that is fantastic!

Seriously just tell her No.
She'll get over the shock soon enough but you can't have her going through your drawers, that would send me out of my mind and if DP wouldn't say anything I would have.
No fannying around just Stoppit.

The dildo comments are funny enough but don't do that, don't embarrass her just tell her not to do it anymore.

It's totally worth losing the hoovering and other cleaning for.

Im seriously not being goady but why is everyone so sensitive about their knicker drawer? I dont get itid be mad at the fairy liquid and hsve to tell her to keep her paws off.

You want to cherry pick the best bits to suit you? You lime the cooking and hoovering?
Time to make your choices otherwise you are just a user.

My dad, since I've moved back close to parents, just unlocks my front door and walks in to 'save me the bother of getting up'. never mind it's one of the few things I can still do! I have to keep it on the latch all the time I'm in or he just walks in. Bloody frustrating when people don't respect boundaries!

My nan used to water down Morning Fresh... It used to squirt out of the bottle like piss

Oh my... that's just so upsetting to even think about!!! I would go mad.

My husband did this when I bought him.an expensive clarins face wash. I used it once as I had left mine in my bag and it came out all.watery and awful ... I was shocked and he said yeah it was too creamy before so I added water 😰😤!!!

He is getting tesco value face waSH next christmas

he think your being mean?

because you dot want someone going through your drawers

he soundspathetic

Put her In a home preferably 50 miles away.

Im seriously not being goady but why is everyone so sensitive about their knicker drawer?
Some of us have knickers we'd prefer our MIL didn't rummage about in
I once went on a work trip with an all-male team of colleagues. The laundrette was really expensive so a colleague and I put ours in together. But I was late getting back, and when I did I found all my underwear neatly folded in the laundry basket outside my hotel room He had daughters my age; probably didn't think anything of it but I was mortified.
Why not rearrange her knicker drawer next time you go round, OP? You could slip a really tacky "sexy" pair in and see if she says anything

Clear out the contents your knicker drawer. Replace with a spy cam.

Or leave your unfolded knickers by the sink and put the fairy liquid in your knickers drawer.

I've worked in lots of offices where there washing up liquid was watered down. this thread has made me realise it might not've been the cleaner trying to protect her employers profit margins but a mid 50s female employee

Do you remember the thread where one PP said "put your MIL in a sling and try co sleeping with her"? You could try that.

Here's a thought. Woman up and just tell her to stop! She doesn't stop, she doesn't get to come round. Simple. If your DH doesn't back you up, you have a bigger problem. I really couldn't abide this. She sees your home as an extension of hers, which it isn't.

I put cordial in the fridge.

I do hate the view of many that you must respect the feelings of someone who doesn't respect yours.

Your MIL knows you don't want her going in your bedroom and sorting through your stuff (particularly knickers!), yet she continues to do it and lies about it, as she knows you don't want her too, she doesn't care that she's upsetting you, so my view is that absolves you from the need to avoid upsetting her. Tell her straight.

And remove her key/change locks and don't give her a new one, tell her she's not got a key because she doesn't respect your boundaries and keeps going through your stuff - "help" you don't want is not "help".