MIL watering down my fairy liquid

[Whack]

The thread title sounds trivial and I know it is but it's driving me nuts. DH and I have recently celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary and this has been ongoing throughout married life.

MIL is on her own, and only really has us. She is a 20 minute bus ride away and will come to our house approx 4 times a week to see DH who WFH. (This annoys me as if he's working she should let him work IMO. He's too soft to tell her he is busy as if he does she flounces off telling him he's rude.)

She means well but IMO has an issue with boundaries. Her issue is, she doesn't have any boundaries. She likes to "help" although I've never asked for any of the help. DH however does appreciate it and for the sake of peace I have stopped making a fuss about her coming to our house when I'm at work and cleaning. It's tricky because I appreciate some elements of it but the boundaries are non existent, eg. Folding my knickers in my knicker drawer, leaving little items for us she thinks will be useful (but I just see as clutter) etc. Some things like hoovering and cooking are appreciated so for the most part I bite my tongue although I wish she would ask me first instead of doing it all the time.

She is quite sensitive to any kind of confrontation/ questioning and would be deeply aggrieved if I said this and/ or just ignore me and carry on. Also DH is wonderful in many ways but very over protective of his mother and thinks I'm being mean if I criticise her over any of this.

One thing in particular I want to put a stop to is she always waters down our fairy liquid. So the first few days worth of squirts are normal and then one at you turn up the bottle and go to squirt some in the sink and it pours out like water. It's so annoying! Also I resent that she does it in my home! It's a small thing but it's bloody maddening.

How can I stop this in a sensitive way? I don't want to upset her and I sometimes think I should put up with it as anyone will think it's really petty, but I don't like watery washing up liquid!

Stealing teabags! That made me howl! 😂

oh this is refreshing, so many threads where someone is complaining about the MIL or DM coming in and cleaning when it's not wanted as an excuse to snoop and fuss are told they are ungrateful and there's a long thread of "she can come round and do mine!".

YANBU - I hate it and have had to stop my mum cleaning, I tend to have to hide the bleach when she's visiting, she believes things are only clean if they've been bleached, the fact this ruins many items that aren't suitable for bleaching doesn't phase her, I shouldn't buy things like real wood then, and DH should learn not to lean against kitchen cabinets... It's taken years to stop her.

They also water down washing up liquid, apparently in the mid-80s that sort of watery level were normal in washing up liquid, so they learned to shove tonnes in the bowl, not put a bit on the sponge, and rather than retrain themselves to use concentrated stuff, water it down.

If any sort of polite request will be treated as a massive personal attack, then go with the fake bottle and the real one. Its shitty you have to resort to such things in your own home. But then I might just go for the polite request and if she kicks off, perhaps won't come over for a while?

I am feeling anxious and twitchy just READING this, let alone LIVING it!
How , HOW are you so calm ?
In your house four times a week rummaging through your personal possessions. How is that even remotely acceptable?

You need to put a lock on your bedroom door, seriously. Do you not have some crotchless sexy knickers in there? How can you stand for your MiL to have access to your bedroom?

She goes in your knicker drawer and you're worried about fairy liquid?

oh actually, you could get a marker pen and write "don't add water!!" on the side.

If you hide the washing up liquid, you do have to leave out a stunt double for her, ideally already mainly full of water.

Oh Lord! Mine does the same and she kept at it until I made her son do the dishes every single time. He did not like it and made his mum stop watering down my fairy liquid. She also waters down the handwash and shampoo when the level drops.

you know the answer to the underwear drawer problem is to leave all your sex toys on top of your knickers

I've had he knocked drawer argument a million times. She always says she doesn't do it, then continues to. My MIL is gaslighting me.

My DP does this. Drives me nuts, especially when you get fairy liquid all down your arm! He splits it between two bottles so I try and throw empty ones away before he gets to them.

You think she's has boundary issues but you are totally fine with her rooting around in your underwear drawer.... Think you have bigger issues than the washing up liquid. I would start with gently laying down some rules and your DH needs to grow up and support you in this.

*the knicker drawer

Apologies frantic typing!

*Stunt double
*

Get a slimline dishwasher OR ask MIL not to water down the fairy liquid as you prefer it undiluted...............what's the problem with that - surely you can say it in a non confrontational way. Ditto folding your underwear. Has this issue with the fairy liquid been going on for 5 years????

And the hand wash ...

Put a bottle of Fairy washing up liguid in your knicker drawer with a post it saying "Leave Me Alone"

Superglue the lid on

"Or Else......."

Ah, my inlaws are like this, bless them. They want to help, but can't just ask what to do, so they potter around the kitchen moving stuff. The thing that gives me the RAGE (I do understand that this makes me sound insane) is that they obsessively put the butter in the fridge. I hear them whispering about how it's too soft and next thing you know you find it in the fridge and you have to chip bits of it with a chisel to sprinkle on your toast.

Massive scary fake spiders in knicker drawer.

Think she's pinching Fairy liquid to take home, and watering your's down to hide the theft!

Or a MASSIVE comedy dildo and harness.

You are on fire tonight mumsnet. Aren't you glad you started this thread op.

Think she's pinching Fairy liquid to take home, and watering your's down to hide the theft!

It's the perfect crime!

Leave dirty skids out -she won't touch those

She folds your knickers? Get a lock on your bedroom door for fuck sake! Now!

Or plant a big veiny strap on in there.