MIL watering down my fairy liquid

[Whack]

The thread title sounds trivial and I know it is but it's driving me nuts. DH and I have recently celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary and this has been ongoing throughout married life.

MIL is on her own, and only really has us. She is a 20 minute bus ride away and will come to our house approx 4 times a week to see DH who WFH. (This annoys me as if he's working she should let him work IMO. He's too soft to tell her he is busy as if he does she flounces off telling him he's rude.)

She means well but IMO has an issue with boundaries. Her issue is, she doesn't have any boundaries. She likes to "help" although I've never asked for any of the help. DH however does appreciate it and for the sake of peace I have stopped making a fuss about her coming to our house when I'm at work and cleaning. It's tricky because I appreciate some elements of it but the boundaries are non existent, eg. Folding my knickers in my knicker drawer, leaving little items for us she thinks will be useful (but I just see as clutter) etc. Some things like hoovering and cooking are appreciated so for the most part I bite my tongue although I wish she would ask me first instead of doing it all the time.

She is quite sensitive to any kind of confrontation/ questioning and would be deeply aggrieved if I said this and/ or just ignore me and carry on. Also DH is wonderful in many ways but very over protective of his mother and thinks I'm being mean if I criticise her over any of this.

One thing in particular I want to put a stop to is she always waters down our fairy liquid. So the first few days worth of squirts are normal and then one at you turn up the bottle and go to squirt some in the sink and it pours out like water. It's so annoying! Also I resent that she does it in my home! It's a small thing but it's bloody maddening.

How can I stop this in a sensitive way? I don't want to upset her and I sometimes think I should put up with it as anyone will think it's really petty, but I don't like watery washing up liquid!

Oh my she goes in your underwear drawer .
I would be so tempted to leave a tube of ky and a vibrator hoping she gets a shock and never comes back.
Or have an hour of work when you know she's coming over and seduce your hubby in his 'office' so your going at it when she walks in.

Sorry I'm not usually this immature but I've been up 22 hours with a teething dd

Waters down the Fairy Liquid - I just love it!!! Go MIL!!!

No. No. No.

I couldn't bear this level of intrusion. I am intensely private about somethings, and personal boundaries are one of them. Visiting 4 times a week? No. Just no.

It sounds to me like your MIL is probably lonely. I suspect she's not very confident, so it's easier for her to spend time with you, then try and make friends and a proper life for herself?

It sounds like she's almost trying to immerse herself into your private, family life. I can't think many people would be happy with this.

Strap on two way dildo in your knicker drawer and maybe a mocked up picture of it in use

An ex's mum once decided to "help" by washing all my nice expensive delicate underwear in the washing machine. I was and that she'd been through my smalls, and that they could have been spoilt by machine washing. I don't think even my own mother would have taken it upon herself to do that.

Dahlietta

Your butter story reminds me of another thing- she always puts cordial in the fridge. So I'll be looking for the cordial and think that we have ran out as it isn't on the side where I left it. I buy some more. Happen to open the fridge- there it is! It doesn't live in there!

Keep your fairy liquid in an empty absinthe bottle?

Oh, and my dad used to water down his Fairy Liquid - said it made it last longer. I dare say it did . At least he only did it to his though!!

Fill up an old bottle with just water and then take your real bottle to work

My parents see Fairy liquid as "profligate", as they but the no frills stuff (and proceed to spend the same amount as it doesn't last or clean the same)

Cordial in the fridge?? Yup, that would make me very angry!!

Just noticed the "Fairy" advert at the bottom of this page. Does everyone else have that or is MN on a wind up against me?

Haha, my MIL is very similar so I feel your pain. We live in a different country and when she comes to visit, all she does is clean, even when the place is not remotely dirty. She will wash EVERYTHING in the wash bag even if it's a pair of socks and uses gallons of fabric softener (a litre bottle would be gone after a 4 day visit). I've had to refrain from putting my knickers in the washbag when she's here and hiding the fabric softener 😂. Then she'll tell me that she got all of my washing dry?!? Eh no you didn't, you hung it out and the air dried it, you don't have a super power that allows you to dry wet clothes!! At least I only have to put up with it maybe 4 times a year.. If it was 4 times a week like you, I'd be fit to be tied !!

Hope she doesn't start diluting the cordial too!

There's a reason why the chatelaine of any household from the medieval period to the late Victorian period was known by her ENORMOUS bunch of keys which was never handed over to anyone.

Can I just say to your DH - your wife is an absolute saint to put up with this. I would say he was a saint too, but I just don't think he experiences the same sense of invasion that I am feeling just reading your posts - my hackles are about six inches high.

My awful housekeeping has frequently been helped out by my mother (at least when ds was tiny). Bless her, she would NEVER go into my/our bedroom as she just sees it as too private. Please, please put a lock on your bedroom door.

Could you put your washing up liquid in a different bottle, maybe with a childproof top or a thermos flask or something secret, and leave out a few suds in the empty bottle for her?

Put the fairy liquid in your knicker drawer when you go to work

My mil waters down her washing up liquid and hand soap as a rule...and what's more, I have to stop dh doing the same.

I can't believe your DH just sits there and says nothing while his mother goes and ferks around in his wife's knicker drawer!

Surely even he can see that his DM is crossing the line doing that?

shakira

I suppose he's used to his mum sorting HIS underwear so doesn't see it the same way. You're right though.

Shakirasma

I think she does it surreptitiously, so she'll be off "pottering" (or goodness knows what, I dread to think and it all happens when I'm not there) and miraculously during this time my items have been handled and folded. (Writing "folded" in that context makes it feel so sinister.)

Get a soap dispenser, decant your fairy liquid into that, leave a little in the bottle...let Mil use what is in bottle/water it down.

Maybe even tell her you have special hand lotion in the dispenser for your Flouncymilitus!

Could not be doing with Hulk's piss washing up liquid!!!

Keep the fairy liquid in your knickers drawer. That'll teach her.

I'd be murderous by now.

"0h, by the way, I like the washing up liquid thick- can you not water it down please"
Sorted.

And why on earth would somebody folding up your pants and putting them away be a problem? Unless they are PVC and crotchless........

My DH waters down hand soap when it's nearly empty. Drives me bonkers! Especially since there is always another bottle so it's not as if we'd need to go without if he finished it. Bonkers!

Try leaving a dildo on top of your knickers in the drawer, might put her off going in there

Fairy advert? I have a COOP Ramadan offers advert...and I am Muslim so hmmmh [sceptical] What is going on MN? 🤣🤣