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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?

403 replies

BlurryFace · 15/05/2017 14:02

My 2 DSs are both under school age and ever since their hair came in I get to hear comments on it from strangers. Sometimes its complimentary, other times it's tuff like "ooh he's going to hate his hair when he's older bless him" or "he's going to get picked on with that hair".

It doesn't ruin my day or anything, I just think "get some social skills you twat" while going 'mmm, really'. I am ginger for Christ's sake, so even if it goes over the boys' heads I can fucking understand it. When I was pregnant with DS1 SIL (who I like) said "oh DH, wouldn't it be funny if you two had a ginger kid? Oh no offense, BlurryFace."

I just feel sick of shrugging off ginger this, ginger that comments. I've been doing it for 20+ years, my own mother has said she thought it a shame I was ginger when I was born. I got all the ginger pubes (what other colour would my pubes be, dumb fuck?) comments at school, but everyone hated me anyway, it was just bonus ammo.

Next time I think I'm going to ask if the person who thinks my kids will hate their hair hate their own nose/jaw/body shape.

OP posts:
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ArchiesMamaBird · 15/05/2017 20:04

Me and my DS both have red hair and I can honestly say that we've had nothing but lovely comments about it. I love it, it's like we're twinning every time we go out!

I don't really worry about him getting picked on when he's older, tbh kids will find anything to bully others for, so if it's not for their hair colour it will be something else.

VictoriaMcdade · 15/05/2017 20:04

I agreed with the poster who said you can't argue with stupid. Or, in the case of a certain poster, borderline illiterate.

My DS has beautiful red hair. And more than that he is kind, helpful, and loving. He is also surrounded by other kids who have never teased him about his hair. Because they are not dicks.

I sometimes wonder if we pointed out to the likes of spring that someone who displays the opinions that she expressed is probably a moron. And people like that will probably raise children who are morons. But thank goodness, they won't have red hair...Hmm

muddypuddled · 15/05/2017 20:05

My dd, 18 months has the most beautiful ginger curly hair. She gets it from her dad who as he has aged has become more auburn mixed with silver. I worry that she'll get picked on for being different like dh did. It never bothered him though because he had lots of comebacks ready for the haters. I think ginger hair is gorgeous though, I am a bit of a ginger lover!

FallenPetalsSummerDew · 15/05/2017 20:15

Ah this drives me bonkers! I have 4 Ginger DC and am also ginger. I went through so much bullying as a child, literally every day for 7 years, my worst recollection is being restrained by 4 boys and having brown paint painted onto my head to make it better! Awful! As an adult I struggle with self esteem issues to this day. However my children are beautiful, utterly so :) The 3 youngest have no experience of bullying and I pray that's the way it stays, my eldest is in year 7 and alas the same cannot be said for her. Pic of my youngest DDs hair attached - thick, straight and bright coppery red. Gives me 'hair envy' as mine is thick, frizzy and orange!

To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?
GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 20:17

Petals I am SO jealous of that glossiness! Same length same colour here, ridiculously curly and hard to tame and DD always comes home from gym looking like she was dragged through a hedge backwards and it takes me forever to brush it out.

Tell me your secrets Grin

StarUtopia · 15/05/2017 20:20

My two are/were blond but both are going darker by the day.

We get similar sort of comments - Oh you must be gutted it's not staying blond etc etc ...How awful they will obviously be mousey brown in a few years etc.

TBH I think British people are just a little obsessed about hair colour in general and the only colour they find acceptable/attractive on children is blond.

The girl with white blonde hair was lead Angel in the play - again.

There are some beautiful pictures of stunning red heads on this thread - simply gorgeous!

Sexstarvedredhead · 15/05/2017 20:20

I never had any problem as a child. My daughter gets it every day. The difference? Growing up in the UK, the UK has a major problem with ginger hair. No idea why.

Original poster
BlurryFace · 15/05/2017 20:22

RaeSkywalker, that's dreadful. Like I say, SIL (and a couple of other family members) commented negatively about the possibility of DS1 having red hair but they managed to keep their traps shut once he arrived with ginger peach fuzz. Your HV as well, WTF does she think she's doing she's there to help you ensure your child's healthy so she can keep that sort of shit to herself.

OP posts:
springflowers11 · 15/05/2017 20:24

Is it ok to call someone with black skin a name relating to their skin colour- ie the equivalent of "copperhead

It is different.There have not been centuries of redhead oppression and slavery.

GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 20:26

So just to confirm.

It's totally ok to take the piss out of someone's features as long as there isn't a major case of discrimination involved?

Is it ok to make fun of teenagers with acne?

knitknack · 15/05/2017 20:26

I'm feeling such righteousness anger right now thinking back to grown up men asking 12-year-old me what colour my pubic hair was!!! FFS!!!

This is me and the only other redhead in our house...

To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?
To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?
Original poster
BlurryFace · 15/05/2017 20:27

Spring flowers, will you please acknowledge that my OP did not say what you said it did? Thank you.

OP posts:
GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 20:27

Can anyone be bothered to find spring's worst post to report and get her banned because I'm torn between doing this and wasting time and energy on her.

user1493759849 · 15/05/2017 20:29

THAT HAIR on that girl (Lucious long glossy red!) Grin

Up there ^

Fook me I'm jellus!

How can anyone mock that?! Confused

GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 20:31

Reported spring and I encourage others to do the same.

UnbornMortificado · 15/05/2017 20:32

I spend a fortune dying my hair ginger.

People are fucking rude YANBU.

RaeSkywalker · 15/05/2017 20:34

Blurry yes the HV is ridiculous. DH came to the next weigh in with me (having heard how upset I was after her comments)- and she said something to another HV like "look at his hair!"

DH basically leapt down her throat, which made us look unreasonable, because she hadn't actually said anything overtly critical that time.

Like you say though, totally unnecessary- just check his weight and i'll be on my way...

Wanderingraspberry · 15/05/2017 20:37

DD has ginger hair, as does DH. They insist that it is ginger rather than red and are both very proud. I was surprised when she started school and another parent expressed relief that there was another red head in the class so they could stick up for each other! We've never had any negativity or thought of red hair as anything other than amazing to have. Long may it continue!

FallenPetalsSummerDew · 15/05/2017 20:40

GaelicSiog there's no secret, her hair just falls like that. Washed and a quick blast with the hairdryer if it's late or left to dry naturally. She's only 5 - turns heads everywhere! Mine on the other hand, hours of products etc, slight bit of moisture in the air and I'm sporting an orange afro!

CurlsandCurves · 15/05/2017 20:42

My DH and my 2 kids have ginger hair and I love it. My boys have never had anything but positive comments about their hair, people have always said how gorgeous it is, specially when they were babies, they were totally cute (not that I'm biased or anything).

Even now at 8 and 12 they've never had any issues re bullying. In fact DS1 seems to think it makes him more popular, he's known as the ginger ninja to his friends, lol.

DH says it was totally different in his day when he was the only ginger in the school!

Original poster
BlurryFace · 15/05/2017 20:43

knitknack, love the cat being ginger, my dog is ginger. I have had (kind) comments about her being the same colour as us while walking her with the boys which I don't mind because it probably does look a bit unusual. :D

OP posts:
HappyJustToBe · 15/05/2017 20:43

And

Greg Rutherford.

stitchglitched · 15/05/2017 20:44

Seriously, spring, why are you defending bullying and abuse?

Violetcharlotte · 15/05/2017 20:47

I don't understand people who think is acceptable to make negative comments on people's appearance, it's so rude!

I think ginger and red hair is beautiful.

Spudlet · 15/05/2017 20:48

stitch Becoz it's top bantz, innit. Just like when I had chewing gum out in my hair at school. So, so funny. Hmm