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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?

403 replies

BlurryFace · 15/05/2017 14:02

My 2 DSs are both under school age and ever since their hair came in I get to hear comments on it from strangers. Sometimes its complimentary, other times it's tuff like "ooh he's going to hate his hair when he's older bless him" or "he's going to get picked on with that hair".

It doesn't ruin my day or anything, I just think "get some social skills you twat" while going 'mmm, really'. I am ginger for Christ's sake, so even if it goes over the boys' heads I can fucking understand it. When I was pregnant with DS1 SIL (who I like) said "oh DH, wouldn't it be funny if you two had a ginger kid? Oh no offense, BlurryFace."

I just feel sick of shrugging off ginger this, ginger that comments. I've been doing it for 20+ years, my own mother has said she thought it a shame I was ginger when I was born. I got all the ginger pubes (what other colour would my pubes be, dumb fuck?) comments at school, but everyone hated me anyway, it was just bonus ammo.

Next time I think I'm going to ask if the person who thinks my kids will hate their hair hate their own nose/jaw/body shape.

OP posts:
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GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 19:23

It's no different than calling black/Asian people names associated with their appearance that are now considered derogatory, and that's exactly why it annoys me. And spring clearly knows that, because she keeps avoiding my question.

ItsNachoCheese · 15/05/2017 19:23

I got no end of snidey comments about my hair growing up but now i just embrace my hair. Besides people pay good money to become a redhead whereas i dont Grin

To be fucking sick of ginger hair comments?
ShmooBooMoo · 15/05/2017 19:23

Spring perhaps what one child perceives as banter another perceives as bullying... I was teased about my hair growing up but it didn't updet me (gets a bit grating though) but I can see how some kids would struggle with name calling.
If your child had huge sticky out ears or a large nose and was constantly having others tease them for it, or worse, attack them for it, would that be banter or bullying in your eyes?
With so many adults still being dicks over a hair colour, I can see why so many kids are too!

DearMrDilkington · 15/05/2017 19:24

Ginger hair is beautiful. I've never understood the hate for it... very odd.

Bluewombler2k · 15/05/2017 19:26

karlakitten beat me to it

"I don't like ginger hair and it is made worse by usually being accompanied by
pasty freckly skin and a puddingy face like that unfortunate-looking girl on the Thomson's ad"

I think this is what people are referring to spring

"Pasty"

"Puddingy face"

"Unfortunate-looking girl"

Those are insults, you are entitled to you own opinion of course, but when you start being mean it changes your post completely

GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 19:26

If she'd said it about a black person, Mumsnet would have deleted spring by now.

DearMrDilkington · 15/05/2017 19:27

nacho very jealous of your hair, it looks so shiny and softGrin.

Ginger hair has such a beautiful glow to it, you don't get that with the other natural hair colours.

user1493759849 · 15/05/2017 19:28

I find it terrifying that spingflowers cannot see why she is so wrong.

She is rude and insulting and racist Yet cannot see it. Sad

GaelicSiog · 15/05/2017 19:28

And we take longer to go grey Wink

I am so glad now mine went back after I dyed it. Some people are total idiots.

piggybrownhare · 15/05/2017 19:28

I have 2 girls with gorgeous red hair, they get lots of nice comments but plenty of thoughtless, stupid comments. In front of my girls the other day someone said 'It's the first thing you check when they are born isn't it and then it's like thank god for that!' (Referring to ginger hair), someone else said 'I had exactly the same hair colour as your girls when I was younger' I replied with 'oh how lovely, do any of your children have the same colour?' She replied 'No, thank god for that!' I too am sick to death of shrugging it off and smiling politely. I do not understand how we have come so far with equality and yet this is seemingly so socially acceptable. I dread to think what my poor girls are going to have to deal with.

deadringer · 15/05/2017 19:30

My dn had gorgeous red hair and she loved it, it was never a negative thing at all. Now that she has grown up its turning brown and she is really quite upset about it. My youngest is ginger/strawberry blonde depending on the light and I think its fabulous. People are bonkers, and also pretty fucking rude.

stitchglitched · 15/05/2017 19:33

Nacho your hair is lovely, my natural colour is similar (though bit darker). But I'm so grey on top now I have to dye it and can't recreate my natural colour so I just end up with brown. I miss the auburn though!

Original poster
BlurryFace · 15/05/2017 19:38

Spring flowers, I was NOT banging on about how gorgeous my children's hair was (it fucking is though now that you mention it), I posted about being fed up with negative comments about it and wanting people who dislike ginger hair to keep it to themselves instead of coming up to me to tell me what they think of it.

OP posts:
Bearberry · 15/05/2017 19:40

I've got ginger hair, personally I love it. As a child I loved it. As a teen not so much, as I did get teased about it pretty relentlessly during my secondary school years. However I lived to tell the tale and to be honest if it hadn't of been my hair it would have been something else, kids/teens can be cruel (not justifying bad behaviour).

My DD is 1 and has my DH hair and skin colouring and my blue eyes. People often comment about how it's a shame she doesn't have red hair and the majority of my friends spent the last year desperately speculating that she might have a "red tinge to her hair? Maybe it'll turn ginger, wouldn't that be lovely..."

I would say on the whole over the last 30 years I've appreciated and enjoyed my hair, I've had a lot of compliments and random strangers stopping me to tell me how much they love the colour. Not to mention countless men telling me how much they love a red head...

ifcatscouldtalk · 15/05/2017 19:41

Being a brunette in a sea of brunettes, I have always slightly envied people with more stand out hair. I always preferred ginger, blonde and black hair to having brown hair. I don't really understand what the hang up is that people have about ginger hair. One of my daughter's grandparents is a red head and whilst pregnant I got the " you wanna hope that doesn't skip a generation." Maybe they thought they were being funny?! Confused

piggybrownhare · 15/05/2017 19:42

I think Spring needs to post a picture, lets see what you look like and we can all express our opinions about your features.

Mainlywingingit · 15/05/2017 19:44

Well the most beautiful girl at school had the most beautiful ginger hair. And I've always had a crush on men. I love ginger hair !

Mainlywingingit · 15/05/2017 19:44

Edit : crush on ginger men I meant!

springhassprungohmy · 15/05/2017 19:51

I have red hair, so do most of my family.

It's beautiful. Who wants to have boring old blonde or brunette hair anyway?

Kidding! Just tell them to fuck off and learn some decent jokes

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 15/05/2017 19:51

I love ginger hair - this prejudice against it is a very English thing and ideologically constructed.
My OH is Australian and is completely baffled by this - red hair is reverred in Australia. And pale skin too. The combination of perfect white skin and red hair is so striking.
I know a number of people with red hair and pale 'peaches and cream' skin and I envy them so much - I often consider dying mine red. Maybe I will.

springhassprungohmy · 15/05/2017 19:53

Should also say I have never heard a negative comment about my hair. Most people say how lovely the colour is, and my daughter gets nice comments too.

Sorry if this has already been posted -

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/photographer-brian-dowling-redhead-beauty-book-ginger-women-stereotypes-a7634811.html

springhassprungohmy · 15/05/2017 19:53

PS I'm in Scotland...

mocha78 · 15/05/2017 19:55

Tell me about it, I am in complete sympathy!

At the age of 38 I'm embraced my hair and wish I could go back to my younger self with all the lessons I've learned along the way.

And yes thoughtless comments too irritate me. One that sticks in my mind is my normally lovely SIL and BIL fretting that their beautiful healthy baby daughter's hair looked like it was a "bit gingery", said to me sitting there next to them with my very "gingery" hair.

RaeSkywalker · 15/05/2017 20:00

I'm quite emotional reading this! Baby DS (6mo) has red hair. We've had so many horrible comments- family members saying hopefully that he might grow out of it, other people saying "there's no getting rid of it when it's like that!" random strangers seeing us out as a family (DH is blonde, I have very dark brown hair) and saying "where did he get that from?" One of my friends asked me if I was worried he'd get bullied in school.

Our HV said it's a shame he's not a girl because women carry red hair better Angry

RaeSkywalker · 15/05/2017 20:00

I do think that children seem to have less of a 'thing' about it than adults.