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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

...to think my mother has just NCd me?

166 replies

sleepingonthesparebed · 14/05/2017 19:28

DM and I have always been close, I live 5 mins away with my DH and Cs and we always spend a lot of time together. She often comes round for tea, collects kids after school sometimes, always popping in and out of each other's homes. DH is often summoned round to do DIY jobs and that's all fine and tikkety-boo.

In the last two weeks I've barely heard from her at all. She had some friends to stay for the weekend two weeks ago and since then it's almost as if she doesn't want to spend time with us anymore. She was going to come round for tea on Weds (a weekly thing) but she texted shortly before to say she'd "rather not anymore". She was also going to come round this afternoon but hasn't returned any calls or texts until just now when she has texted to say she "won't be coming round".

This is all highly unusual and out of character and the kids are most anxious and upset that she won't be here. They've been looking forward all week to seeing her especially as they didn't get a chance when her friends came to stay or on Weds when she would usually have been round.

I know this sounds absurd but it almost feels like her friends have told her to get a life apart from us. She's moving house in a few weeks time but only 10 mins further away. Maybe she's moving away in her mind too.

She won't respond to any messages or pick up the phone when I call. She's not in when I go and pop round. It's like all of a sudden something has happened to make her not want to spend time with us. She's not met someone, that I do know.

As this is so out of character, AIBU to be concerned for her health/welfare or does it seem that she just wants less to do with us? I can't think of anything that we might have said or done to have offended her and as she's not talking to me I can't really find that out.

She's 70 next year and has spoken previously of her concerns about "getting old and incapable" and "staying sane". She's an otherwise very independent single and strong-minded woman.

AIBU to be concerned or is this just a declaration of independence from her family???

OP posts:
Arborea · 14/05/2017 20:56

Could she have started a new romantic relationship?

TheweewitchRoz · 14/05/2017 20:58

Very concerning Op. Hope you get to the bottom of things & it's nothing too sinister.

Original poster
sleepingonthesparebed · 14/05/2017 21:00

I guess I was due a name change soon anyway.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 14/05/2017 21:01

What did she say?

Fwiw if it was my mum I'd be very very worried indeed. And actually extremely upset.

BigGrannyPants · 14/05/2017 21:02

Hope you are OK OP, I hope your mum has read the thread because she will see how concerned you are and how upset the kids are... assume if she has read the thread she will also be asking you to stop commenting on it? Hope your mum is ok too and it nothing serious

cookiefiend · 14/05/2017 21:02

You haven't Said anything negative about her. If you are close just try and talk it out.

My mum is very close to us and like you we love it. I would be very worried in this circumstance too.

Fragglez · 14/05/2017 21:02

What ever did she say OP?! Has she told you what is wrong, is she ok?

WayfaringStranger · 14/05/2017 21:03

This is really confusing. Have you posted about her before?

pudcat · 14/05/2017 21:03

why would you name change? Have you made any other posts which she should not see? Can your children get through to her. How old are they?

metalmum15 · 14/05/2017 21:05

If she really has read the thread then perhaps she can come on here and give us all some answers.

metalmum15 · 14/05/2017 21:05

If she really has read the thread then perhaps she can come on here and give us all some answers.

EweAreHere · 14/05/2017 21:09

Well, I'd hope she wouldn't be too upset/cross about it, since this is anonymous. You're concerned, but it's not like you're grilling her friends about her with your concerns. Your asking anonymously for advice re what to do because you love her and you want to make sure all is ok between you two.

MadMags · 14/05/2017 21:09

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minniebear · 14/05/2017 21:10

Thinking of you, I'd be so worried in your shoes. OP's mum, if you're reading I hope you're okay.

ScarlettDarling · 14/05/2017 21:10

The only thing that comes through in your posts is love and concern for your mum. Hope she understands that and can explain why she's acting so coldly towards you.

metalmum15 · 14/05/2017 21:10

madmags Hmm...possibly. ...

MrsJamesMathews · 14/05/2017 21:10

Oh dear. shakes head. sighs. moves on

Fruitcorner123 · 14/05/2017 21:11

If i read a thread like this that my daughter had written about me I would be so upset and would want to reassure her straightaway. Unless there is something more which is why you need to ask her. What did the text say roughly op if you don't want to share it word for word?

Fruitcorner123 · 14/05/2017 21:12

Can we have an update?

DevilsDumplings · 14/05/2017 21:12

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metalmum15 · 14/05/2017 21:13

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metalmum15 · 14/05/2017 21:13

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Fruitcorner123 · 14/05/2017 21:15

Why would someone fib about this? ( Obviously I am naive) Blush

Kittykatclaws · 14/05/2017 21:16

This all sounds very odd!

ophiotaurus · 14/05/2017 21:16

If that was my mum I would be worried too.
Has she found out something that she doesn't want to tell you?