...to think my mother has just NCd me?

[sleepingonthesparebed]

DM and I have always been close, I live 5 mins away with my DH and Cs and we always spend a lot of time together. She often comes round for tea, collects kids after school sometimes, always popping in and out of each other's homes. DH is often summoned round to do DIY jobs and that's all fine and tikkety-boo.

In the last two weeks I've barely heard from her at all. She had some friends to stay for the weekend two weeks ago and since then it's almost as if she doesn't want to spend time with us anymore. She was going to come round for tea on Weds (a weekly thing) but she texted shortly before to say she'd "rather not anymore". She was also going to come round this afternoon but hasn't returned any calls or texts until just now when she has texted to say she "won't be coming round".

This is all highly unusual and out of character and the kids are most anxious and upset that she won't be here. They've been looking forward all week to seeing her especially as they didn't get a chance when her friends came to stay or on Weds when she would usually have been round.

I know this sounds absurd but it almost feels like her friends have told her to get a life apart from us. She's moving house in a few weeks time but only 10 mins further away. Maybe she's moving away in her mind too.

She won't respond to any messages or pick up the phone when I call. She's not in when I go and pop round. It's like all of a sudden something has happened to make her not want to spend time with us. She's not met someone, that I do know.

As this is so out of character, AIBU to be concerned for her health/welfare or does it seem that she just wants less to do with us? I can't think of anything that we might have said or done to have offended her and as she's not talking to me I can't really find that out.

She's 70 next year and has spoken previously of her concerns about "getting old and incapable" and "staying sane". She's an otherwise very independent single and strong-minded woman.

AIBU to be concerned or is this just a declaration of independence from her family???

[MerryMarigold]

Why is she moving, OP?

[NotHotDogMum]

I'd definitely pop around, not under any pretext I'd just say 'I miss you mum, is everything ok?' X

[RaeSkywalker]

You're doing the right thing by going round tonight.

Is the email to your brother out of character?

[incogKNEEto]

I would be worried too if this is totally out of character and there has been no disagreement or upset. I'm glad you're going round to see her and l hope all is ok and she's just wrapped up in her move preparations .

[Mulberry72]

This would worry me too OP.

Definitely go round this evening and get to the bottom of it.

[sleepingonthesparebed]

Brother is finding spurious reason to call her tonight to have a chat, even though it's nearly 11pm where he is now..... DH has reminded me that I've just had a large glass of wine over tea so probably shouldn't be getting into the car to doorstep her. We are 5 mins away but it involves an A road.

[Hassled]

Hopefully your brother can work out what's going on. This must be really unsettling for you - I'm sorry. I've been trying to think what might make me act like that suddenly to my (adult) DD and I've come up with nothing.

[PovertyJetset]

How curious. Hope you le brother can shed some light on it.

[NormaSmuff]

why dont you write her a nice letter, old fashioned and probably something she might appreciate.
perhaps her friends said something unkind to her.

[NormaSmuff]

does she feel used do you think? for childcare?

[AnnaThursday]

Mmm, it's difficult to think of a simple explanation why your mum would
drop off the radar like that. How worrying for you - you come across
as a lovely, caring, daughter, OP.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

.

[JaneEyre70]

I'd be really honest with her, and say you're worried you've done something to upset her and is everything OK. It does sound odd and I hope you get some answers.

[Mrsmadevans]

OP take a taxi if you need to .........

[imjessie]

I'd be worried if that was my mum . Get a cab and go and see her .

[SashaSays]

I agree with PP. I would try go round, It sounds very out of character and I would be worried if that was my mum. Hope all is well

[Timeforteaplease]

If it is out of character, you should be very concerned.
Make sure you talk to her face to face so you can read her reaction.

[PeachyPip]

Is she someone who ever NC's people. I know my Mum would never do that as she's never NC'ed anyone in her life even when she should have done.

[VladmirsPoutine]

Go see her. Wine or not - there are other means.

[Code42]

Gosh, how worrying, OP: like PP have suggested, could she be feeling taken for granted? Does she have any form at all for withdrawing when upset? I hope your brother manages to get some answers for you

[Pettywoman]

Hope your brother gets to the bottom of it.

[Fruitcorner123]

You're doing the right thing going round. Could you go round in a couple of hours if it's was just one glass over dinner earlier this evening. Or a taxi?

[kiwigeekmum]

Hmmm, that does seem odd and I'd be worried if that was my Mum.

Of course, it's totally reasonable if she had decided she would like to reduce the amount of time she spends with your family somewhat, but it would be polite to at least discuss this with you to let you know, and it's very strange that it's happened all of a sudden.

I hope you can talk to her soon OP and sort it out.

[Blossomdeary]

The worrying thing is that this behaviour is not normal for her. I do think that the only thing you can do is get round there and lay your cards on the table. You have noting to lose.

[MadMags]

If this were my mum I'd be going around, wine or no wine. Can't you take a cab?