To think her childcare issues don't take priority?

[MyFairyKing]

I've been in my current role for a few years. In our team, there needs to be one senior person during opening hours. We have core hours, no shift work. I work 4 days a week and I do this due to health reasons. I applied for this flexible working request and it was accepted as I am disabled as per the Equality Act.

My fellow senior was full-time and we used to rub along well, discussing holidays and negotiating well. She's now left and my new colleague also works 4 days a week. In her previous team, she had the same non working day as me. Manager sat us down yesterday and asked us to agree between us how we work it out or they will have to make a decision for us but they want us both to be happy. I'm not very assertive in real life and I felt totally bamboozled by her and she was going on and on at me about how she arranged childcare to be like this. She wasn't being horrible by the way, just not really thinking about me. FWIW, I have a child too, so I am not unsympathetic.

In terms of contracts, we are both contracted to work X hours per week. There is nothing in our contracts that specifies our non working day.

She text me today, saying she didn't want to put me under pressure (!) but her childminder cannot take or collect her children to school on that day and she doesn't know what to do. I get that she's worried. She's not an unpleasant person at all.

I want to speak to my manager and say that I think I should get priority. I have physiotherapy on my day off and I was getting so ill but having this treatment plus a break in the working week was giving me enough time to recover and be for work when I am there,

AIBU?

Do not discuss this with her. Your manager is being a dick and if he knows you are not an assertive person, he's hoping you're going to role over on this and he can wash his hands of the situation.

She is NOT a nice person, but is trying to manipulate you into giving her that day off. Your NEEDS trump her WANTS in every way. If she's been there for longer than a week, then she's already been able to have the child looked after on a Wed.

It will be a dam site easier for her to rearrange childcare than it would for you to stop being disabled!

What kind of ass-backward cowboy outfit are you working for?
Is it possible that the Manager is trying to find a way to facilitate your employer giving you a nice big cheque?

The Equality Act imposes the duty to make reasonable adjustments on the employer.
As soon as your employer had enough information to have realised that you had a disability they had a statutory duty to act.

Instead you had to DIY by putting in a flexible working request, which they agreed to because of your disability, in order to get a suitable reasonable adjustment!

What on earth makes your employer think that reasonable adjustments are discretionary?
Unless your employer has concrete evidence that your medical condition no longer qualifies as a disability they cannot lawfully just remove the existing adjustment.

Because of your disability you need at least a day to rest/recuperate/manage your physical resources after each 2 working days.
Failing to make a reasonable adjustment is disability discrimination.
While the disability still exists, unless it's to replace it with an improved adjustment, removing a reasonable adjustment is disability discrimination.

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The possibility of an successful indirect sex discrimination claim, based on a lack of available child-care on a particular day of the week, is remote in comparison.

YANBU to want to keep your existing hours, but YABU if you aren't communicating why, especially if your manager has asked you to try and work it out between yourselves first. I have had this happen plenty of times before - both A & B want something, manager says "Have a chat, see if you can work something out between yourselves to suit you both. If you can't come up with something, let me know and I'll make a formal decision based on the business needs."

In your OP it does come across, and I say this in the nicest way, that you just didn't want to change and were being awkward for the sake of it, but as per your further posts, with the extra information it makes sense and gives your needs more weight as it's not just a personal preference or not wanting to faff with changing your appointment, it's also the physical need for a rest day after 2 consecutive work days.

However, you need to communicate this to your colleague. I was recently your colleague in your situation and it's stressfull from that side too but all she seems to be seeing is you being difficult while she is trying to be as open as possible. She has just transferred to a new team, trying to get to grips with that and the new work and now she's being pitted against an existing team member to keep her schedule (and yes the OP has had this schedule, in this team for a few years, but the other colleague could have had this schedule for the same amount of time just in a different team and the job change may not have been her choice but just because she needed to not be in her old team for whatever reason)

I work in a supermarket and was recently offered a new role within my store, it would be a step up and when I went to the interview I did speak to the department manager about the shift pattern as I have to factor in my DD8 and the childcare arrangements I have. My current department manager knows about my shared custody with my ex and that is factored into my hours - so I am only ever rota'd on evening shifts if it is DDs week with her dad for example - and they're really good about keeping up a dialogue about it. The new job I was promised to keep the same shift patterns, just extra hours on certain days so I agreed ... only when I came to sign the change to my contract it turns out they realised it clashed with the other person in the role and they wanted to entirely change my schedule. There's no way I could have just flipped my childcare overnight - especially as I not only had to factor in the paid childcare but also the arrangement I have with her dad - and I was trying to make it work as I really wanted the job, but the other person just would not budge on anything and I ended up telling the manager there was no way I could fit the new schedule change and so I'd have to pass up on the new role. I know they have every right to refuse to change their schedule but they gave no reason so whilst I was telling myself that the other person may have 1001 reasons not to want to change, in my head I was screaming "But why not?" especially when I went into the meeting with them and the department manager and said "Look, I do X, you want me to do Y, that's impossible because of ... but if we could modify it to Z, so Coworker stayed an extra hour on Monday so I could come in late after dropping off DD, then I'd come in an hour early on Friday so they can go home earlier and the hours are the same, then it's doable" and just got a flat "No" off Coworker, which is giving me nothing to work with towards a compromise.

It's one thing to say "Look, I've tried to change my childcare and there just absolutely no way for me to get childcare on Wednesdays at the moment, is there any wiggle room on you having a different day off?" and getting a "No, I don't want to change" vs "No. I know it's hard with childcare issues but I am on a modified timetable because of my disability and there's no way I can do more than two days in a row, so I need Wednesday for my recovery and for my physio."

Whilst you're not obligated to disclose your disability info or the adjustments you need under the Equality Act, would it really be so bad to give her a little bit of information to help with the decision?

While it would be nice to explain to your new co-worker, the person you really need to speak to about this is your manager.
He/she probably doesn't realise the potential consequences to your employer of his/her actions, or lack thereof.

BTW it's irrelevant that your written contract doesn't specify your non-working day.
A contract of employment isn't just what's typed on a piece of paper it's also 'what actually happens'.
After 2 years Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday are now your contracted working days.

I think you go back and speak to her, explain your health issues and ask when she can change her childcare provisions.
I would think the child minder is likely to have a change in schedule in September. As some kids go off to school, your colleagues child may even be starting school then so that would be a sensible point for her to change her days.

I don't think either of you have rights that trump the others. It would be horrible to change childcare now if the child is only a few months from starting school. I think you should ask for a Tuesday or Thursday off until September as a temporary solution if she is able to change then.
The Thursday meeting could be moved to Friday or Monday or Tuesday. I don't see why that has any real rights.

Melj, it may bug you that the other staff member refused to discuss it, but their reasons weren't actually any of your business. Maybe they had good reason not to discuss it. If OP, says it's due to her disability at what point does she stop discussing the finer details of it. Why should she have to explain something so intimate? And being disabled can feel like a very intimate thing, because of the effects it can have on a person's every day life and on their body.

OP there is a lot of narrow mindedness on this thread. I'm sure you are used to it though, I am. I'm disabled too and sometimes it helps to see just how many people really believe something so unreasonable. It gives a starting point for why HR, line manager and colleague may think it's perfectly ok to be asking you this.

Don't give an inch. Don't compromise, trial it or attempt to shift physio.

She can get a new childminder. Her children will get older and childcare needs will change. She needs to learn to adapt.

You can't get a new body. Your care needs remain the same. You have already adapted the best way you can. End of discussion.

MrEBear, if you can't bothered reading the whole thread, then at least read the op's posts. The op's rights absolutely take president over her co worker.

I don't think you or your colleague are being unreasonable. The company have cocked up by promoting/appointing her without being clear about the set working days before she accepted.

You clearly have a condition that would deteriorate if you worked 3 days in a row without recovery time and physio and have found a solution that works for you and prevents you taking sick days. It is worth reminding your manager of this. They would have a lot more hassle if you end up signed off.

I feel really sorry for your colleague too, childcare is such a stress and they should have made it clear she couldn't have Wednesdays off from the start.

Isn't is great when people cannot be arsed
To read a thread?
MrEBear the colleagues child is already in school, the cm is unable to do the school run that day.
The ops rights fall under acts that give her protection due to her disability. Hence she has been doing these days for a long time.
Asking for a Tuesday off means the op has to work 3 days straight. What part of she cannot as it impacts her health would allow this? She also cannot take Thursday off because of a staff meeting. To change the day of a meeting isn't as simple as ask for a change and it will be done. We have a staff meeting on a specific date and to change this would also impact not only part
Time staff, but meetings and other work commitments elsewhere.

Op don't explain your health to your colleague. They have no right to know this information. The only people who should be aware are - manager and hr.

Think that whilst you should keep your existing day off due to be disabled but also as that was your existing work pattern before she was employed, lots of people don't realise how hard it is to find suitable childcare. I am lucky that my employers are relatively flexible but with a dh who works away a lot and no family closeby childcare can stay be a nightmare.my cm retires in the summer and despite registering with several cm we haven't got a space yet

If her children are already in school and it's only a wrap round care issue perhaps the manager - whose fault it is - can arrange to cover the drop off/pick up ends of her shift on Wednesdays until a childminder or alternative can be found. There are more options with it being school age kids. She could offer to share with another mum and pick up their kids on her day off. It's not like trying to settle a toddler into a new setting.

But none of that is your job to sort out OP.

Why not move till tuesday then you have two days off after working weds/Thurs/ Fri?

Neither of YABU but your needs definitely trump hers.

You were there first.
Your working pattern helps your disability.

She is new, she can't expect to start a new job and anyone with an established working pattern that also suits her to just give it up to her.

She needs to think about changing childminder or organising other wrap around care.

Don't give in.

See your manager alone, without her, and reiterate your personal situation compared with hers, and tell him you don't feel comfortable essentially being asked to battle it out with a new starter.

Tell him you will leave it in his capable hands to make arrangements with the new starter, but you expect your working pattern to be honoured as per occupational healths recommendations.

Another one who didn't rtft. 🙄

That was to sofato

I did read the full thread but missed that the child is already in school.

Compromise still needs to be made, trying to find child care at this time of year is hard all the good places are full. Even wrap around places will become available as children move up to high school.

And how will a compromise help with the ops medical needs? They won't disappear until September. Then who is to say the new person doesn't say well tough shit I'm not changing, obviously you don't really need that day off.

The only compromise is for the manager(s), who eff'd up to take responsibility for the situation.

So say you don't work Wednesday now, could you change day off to Tuesday or Thursday? You'd still have a break in the week?

What comprise though?!
Seriously what compromise would you suggest?

Only one can have that day off it seems. Both have need for it. One much greater than the other.

New starter with the lesser need loses in my opinion, it's hard and annoying but she has taken a new job and at least she isn't disabled and struggling, it's only organising childcare she has to contend with.

A Tuesday or Thursday wouldn't work for the op and her employer. It has been explained why.

If your manager ends up making the decision, I think it will come down to who they need most.

Have they transferred her to your team for a particular reason eg bringing new skills or experience?

If she can't have Wednesdays off, is she likely to turn down the job?

A new person starting should have absolutely no effect on your working pattern, you have your set routine and have no obligation to change