To think her childcare issues don't take priority?

[MyFairyKing]

I've been in my current role for a few years. In our team, there needs to be one senior person during opening hours. We have core hours, no shift work. I work 4 days a week and I do this due to health reasons. I applied for this flexible working request and it was accepted as I am disabled as per the Equality Act.

My fellow senior was full-time and we used to rub along well, discussing holidays and negotiating well. She's now left and my new colleague also works 4 days a week. In her previous team, she had the same non working day as me. Manager sat us down yesterday and asked us to agree between us how we work it out or they will have to make a decision for us but they want us both to be happy. I'm not very assertive in real life and I felt totally bamboozled by her and she was going on and on at me about how she arranged childcare to be like this. She wasn't being horrible by the way, just not really thinking about me. FWIW, I have a child too, so I am not unsympathetic.

In terms of contracts, we are both contracted to work X hours per week. There is nothing in our contracts that specifies our non working day.

She text me today, saying she didn't want to put me under pressure (!) but her childminder cannot take or collect her children to school on that day and she doesn't know what to do. I get that she's worried. She's not an unpleasant person at all.

I want to speak to my manager and say that I think I should get priority. I have physiotherapy on my day off and I was getting so ill but having this treatment plus a break in the working week was giving me enough time to recover and be for work when I am there,

AIBU?

The whole "she can just find other childcare" view is ridiculous, we don't all live in areas with an abundance of childminders with spaces as and when you want them, never mind being able to do drop your existing childminder without any notice/financial penalty.

Sorry momday wed and a thursday?

I can't believe you are being asked to consider changing.
If you were both in exactly the same position and both needed Weds off for childcare reasons, surely you should get it as you have been there longer?!?!
As you actually need it for health reasons, this should strengthen your case further.
I'm gobsmacked that anyone would think otherwise. (And working in advertising, I have experienced the shittiest of shit childcare issues, but would def defer to someone with a disability).

At the end of the day, it should have been sorted out at the recruitment stage, and it is certainly not up to you to sort out.

Some great text responses from PP.

Good luck.

So if op extends her day to cater for the new person then when does op get her day off?
Monday, Tuesday and Friday working longer hours. Wednesday now at work because the new person didn't think about asking a huge relevant question and Thursday it's compulsory staff meeting.

The whole "she can just find other childcare" view is ridiculous, we don't all live in areas with an abundance of childminders with spaces as and when you want them, never mind being able to do drop your existing childminder without any notice/financial penalty

If that is your situation, would you seriously interview for a job, take the job, and star working without having asked about your "difficult" day first?

c'mon!

if things are that "Tricky" you bring it up during recruitment, then either negotiate something that works or turn down the job offer. You don't tak the job then go "oh by the way, it would be easier for me to have my day off midweek" if your childcare options are really that dire and thin on the ground!

Your manager has been a Dick and none of this is your responsobility to sort out it's your managers!

And of course your health trumps childcare,it may be really hard for the other lady to sort out other child care for that one day but failing a miracle you can't make your illness and disability vanish for that one day a week and your manager knows this and he should have made the other lady aware of all of this before she was offered the job!

Being as you were already working there surely your manager shouldn't be bending over backwards for a new member of staff,surely he should be trying to hold onto staff that have worked there for a while,are I presume fully trained and get on well within the company,for all he knows he could do everything in favour of the other lady and she could decide to leave a year down the line.

Please stand up for yourself,if your finding it to difficult is there someone else at work that could speak on your behalf?

Before anyone has a go at me I do get it,I was a single Mum to 4DC so I do know how hard good childcare can be to come by but since then I've become ill and disabled and my easiest day now is nothing compared to my worst day then!

I think new person is unprofessional to text you her childcare woes on what's presumably your day off (?) actually, and her message is putting you under pressure.

I would not respond, I would have the conversation in person, during working hours with HR/union present!

I thought you sounded quite U in your OP and subsequent postings, but you've since explained that the real reason why you are unwilling to compromise is because you cannot work more than two days in a row without becoming overtired. I think you need to stress that - the physio appointment is a red herring. It's probably easier to rearrange your medical appointment than it is childcare, but the point you need to communicate is you cannot physically do more than two days in a row and there is no need for anyone to work at the weekends, so unfortunately you cannot change days as much as you'd like to help out.

It sounds a lot more U when you start with the two days in a row first and then explain the further inconvenience of rescheduling a longstanding appointment.

** Sorry that should read "a lot more reasonable when you start with the two days".

You don't have Wednesdays off to drink coffee and watch Homes Under the Hammer. You have them off for medical reasons. The other job should have gone to someone who was willing to take a different day off. Management have messed up, and need to resolve it. If it means stretching the budget to get a third party to cover Wed, so be it.

If that is your situation, would you seriously interview for a job, take the job, and star working without having asked about your "difficult" day first?

Why would she given it's an internal move from another team?

Why would she given it's an internal move from another team?

You still go through interview/recruitment for a new internal post!

Even easier to ask the important questions about work patterns if internal surely?

This is a difficult situation but ultimately I think you need to retain your current working pattern.

Your colleague should go back to her childminder and ask when a space might become available on a Wednesday. It may well be in September when some of the CMs current mindees start school. If it is a case of a space becoming available in a few months, I think your employers will have to find another 'senior person' to fill in or manage without until she can change her days. What happens when one or other of you are on holiday?

If OH has stated that the day off is a reasonable adjustment then this needs to be honoured- unless your manager wants to review and they can send you again.

You should get precedence over her childcare IMO. I work in HR and that would be my professional advice if asked in work.

Totally agree here.
She joins the team, and should have been made to acknowledge the current structure of the dept. She is suggesting that it must change, due to her different commitments. This is obviously unfair, which suggests she is not the ideal candidate.
The management need to resolve this given that: they hired her, the did not explain the departmental commitments, and she is therefore unable to fulfil the criteria.

I'm sorry for your colleague and her difficulties but of course disability trumps childcare, and your employer would legally be on very dodgy ground if it said otherwise. If you can't work more than 2 days consecutively owing to your illness then Wednesday being your day off is almost certainly a reasonable adjustment they should be making for you under the Equality Act.

How about a compromise like you go down to 3 day week (say, tues, wed and fri) at the same pay until other colleague is able to find childcare to enable her to change her day off? As it's managements cock up they could do this or find someone to cover that day until childcare rearranged which would probably cost them more.

I wouldn't be swayed by her guilt tripping text.

If you need to take Wednesday off for your health then you need to fight for it.
You are not fighting with this woman, you are fighting FOR yourself.

Just say very little to your boss.
'I have Wednesday off for health reasons, I have seniority'

Whatever her reasons for wanting Wednesday off are are not your problem. Speak to / email your boss confirming your position. Don't talk to her about it.

Your manager is being very flakey to push this onto you and your new colleague to sort out. They should have chosen someone who was able to work the required hours, since your hours are dictated by an occ health recommendation. I would go back to them and say 'unfortunately x is unable to find alternative childcare, and as you know, I have medical appts on Weds and a recommendation from OH that I take that day off, what do you suggest?'

Can your manager who is making you both make this decision instead of himself not do the wenesday morning? Until other senior staff arrive

Your existing Wednesday off should trump her existing Wednesday because she has moved into your department.

Whoever did the hiring should have made it clear to the incomer that Wednesday is a working day because the department requires a senior as no other senior is available on that day.

I'd be making that point to the manager. Surely your hours are a fixed agreement and not ad hoc?

I am too ill to work and have two body work sessions a week. One on Monday and one of Friday. I have a primary school aged dd. So I understand fully your need for Wednesday off. It makes perfect sense why Tues/Thurs off won't work.

Absolutely do NOT trial another day. Your health will suffer. She will find alternative childcare even if she has to travel to do it. I understand it is difficult to find a cm on weds, it is their busiest day because part timers tend to work mon/tues/weds. However, it is very likely her cm or a local nursery will have a place once the summer holidays arrive and definitely come September when the preschoolers go to school. So she needs to put her child's name on a couple of waiting lists for then and send her child elsewhere in the meantime.

I am absolutely disgusted that your manager has told you to sort it out between yourselves. I would send the mail above, I can't see it now but it's the one, stating you are protected under the equal equalities act to your manager. Either respond something bland to your colleague that you're sorry she's struggling to find childcare and you will both have to discuss this with said manager or ignore her text

If no solution can be found before September, your boss will have to do the job for the next couple of months seeing as they caused the problem in the first place by not clarifying working hours with your colleague before she started. Grrrr I'm angry for you.

3 days a week at the same pay is a great idea if you can manage it!!

It seems a little unfair- she is the one who has moved to your team (her choice?). So it is not fair that you would have to move things. Would your childcare be able to cover a Wednesday?

Also if you struggle to work 3 days in a row because of your illness it seems unreasonable to suddenly have to do so- not good for the company of you are feeling ill and bit working at capacity.