To think her childcare issues don't take priority?

[MyFairyKing]

I've been in my current role for a few years. In our team, there needs to be one senior person during opening hours. We have core hours, no shift work. I work 4 days a week and I do this due to health reasons. I applied for this flexible working request and it was accepted as I am disabled as per the Equality Act.

My fellow senior was full-time and we used to rub along well, discussing holidays and negotiating well. She's now left and my new colleague also works 4 days a week. In her previous team, she had the same non working day as me. Manager sat us down yesterday and asked us to agree between us how we work it out or they will have to make a decision for us but they want us both to be happy. I'm not very assertive in real life and I felt totally bamboozled by her and she was going on and on at me about how she arranged childcare to be like this. She wasn't being horrible by the way, just not really thinking about me. FWIW, I have a child too, so I am not unsympathetic.

In terms of contracts, we are both contracted to work X hours per week. There is nothing in our contracts that specifies our non working day.

She text me today, saying she didn't want to put me under pressure (!) but her childminder cannot take or collect her children to school on that day and she doesn't know what to do. I get that she's worried. She's not an unpleasant person at all.

I want to speak to my manager and say that I think I should get priority. I have physiotherapy on my day off and I was getting so ill but having this treatment plus a break in the working week was giving me enough time to recover and be for work when I am there,

AIBU?

I completely disagree with fabulous. They don't have to agree to flexible working for parents but there is much more weight behind a request for flexible working due to a disability. You have the working pattern you need in place. Don't compromise.

I think she should have been told her working hours before she started the job.

As they seem to have let her start the job while having the same day off as you I'd say neither of you are being unreasonable. Unless your reasonable adjustment from OH specifies the day you should have off you don't have any more claim than she does.

As the manager who now has to sort this out I'd be tempted to change both your days off so neither of you 'wins' and there isn't that sitting between you.

Talk to the manager. Explain that your day off was what Occ Health said to do. Then forget about it and leave it to the manager.

I think your needs should trump her convenience. She's moved roles and imo, shouldn't get to dictate to the rest of the team.

Didn't she even consider she might have to change her day off? In fact, I'm wondering if she might have been promised she could keep her pattern of working. Is it the sort of company where things like that happen, op?

Stick to your guns OP. She'll have to find alternative childcare. You can't find alternative health can you.

• do not trial it
• it might be wise to send her a friendly and reasonable sounding text back - very non committal. Something like "nice to have you in the team! I am sure we can work something out"
• meanwhile, with your manager, and with HR, DO NOT be gentle and non committal. Be CLEAR, in writing, that your day off is non negotiable. Get a dr note. Refer to the earlier agreement on the basis of your disability. Pull out all the paperwork and get new stuff. do it fast and be sharp and decisive.
• do not talk about the new person and her arrangements. Not your problem, not your issue. your whole deal is: I need this because x. It is legally required because y. It is historically agreed because z. Ignore the rest.

I agree it is shit that you are expected to "work this out" with her, like children fighting over a toy. The manager standing back like this is basically saying "6 of one, half a dozen of the other". That's just asking the more team-minded person to step down which isn't necessarily the fair outcome.

Be nice and professional to everyone, especially the new lady in your team. But no matter how much you smile and be pleasant, the content of what you are saying, especially to HR and your manager, needs to be: non negotiable. My day off.

Fabulous - seriously? You are telling a woman, for whom her employer has made a legally required reasonable adjustment, to give it up in case they change their minds! If they did say she could no longer have the reasonable adjustment they made simply because they can't facilitate a request for a preferred working pattern for someone else, they would be on very dodgy legal ground. I'm surprised you don't understand the difference between the two situations, given you say you work in HR.

Employers have a duty to consider requests for reduced hours:
m.acas.org.uk/media/pdf/s/7/The-right-to-request-flexible-working-the-Acas-guide.pdf

Employers have a duty to make reasonable adjustments for disabilities.
m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4986

fabulous I tried to get this from the CIPD website to drive home the point that as you work in HR you should know this stuff, but the site is down.

Do NOT trial anything! Shes texted you to make you feel guilty. What business does she have contacting you outside work about this? Just say you have considered all the options and unfortunately due to your disability you have to keep your work pattern the way it is. She can always find different childcare. Dont put your health behind her convenience.

FABULOUS, the op has already been granted a reasonable accommodation by her employer on the back of an occupational therapist review. This is now her existing role. Whatever accommodation the new employee is seeking is separate to this and should not involve the op. Under no circumstances should the employer disclose your disability op and you shouldn't feel under pressure to either.

If I ever have employment issues I would want the antigrinch on my team ;)

BTW & Being deliberately vague I think that request for a Doctors note is VERY reasonable. There will probably be a charge - that would be up to your surgery policy.

To be clear, the duty to make adjustments trumps the duty to consider flexible working. They should consider it and tell her she can't have Wednesdays.

If your OH report specifies a day, then there really is no argument to be had here - your OH provider has deemed this is a proposed reasonable adjustment to allow you to continue in your role and the company accepted this when they implemented it. Sorted.

I agree - OH have, in all honesty, caused me nothing but more anxiety (not my employers fault, but the doctor I saw the first time was utterly shite and useless, I'm hoping the next appointment will be with someone else - different location). You may have to go along to appease the powers that be, but there's no reason they should change the recommendation if it's been working for you.

To be clear, the duty to make adjustments trumps the duty to consider flexible working.

This!

OP, you need to stick to your guns on this. I have a chronic illness and a 1yr old. My health is WAY harder to schedule than working out childcare arrangements for my dc. You need to speak up about the impact this will have on you completing your job competently. Tell your managers that if you are forced to change your working day then your job will be impacted which you have a solution for in taking the day off when you do.

OP it's quite clear that you need wednesdays to break up your week

The other worker wants wednesdays because she CBAs to find a second childminder to cover a different day that her existing child minder won't do

Please stick up for yourself and do NOT assume that if you "give" on this issue it'll be repayed to you down the line, the opposite is more likely to happen, I.e. you'll be the person expected to roll over and be flexible forever more!

YANBU - Your day off has been allocated for a reasonable adjustment to your disability, as agreed via to this other person arriving.

This is not your problem... your seniors need to find a solution since they were the ones who offered the new person the job without sorting out the detail first.

I'm sure that if you could accommodate this new person, you would but you can't so therefore there is no more you can do.

If you now say you can be flexible about your midweek day off.. you're basically saying to them that you don't need your adjustment, which you do, and this could cause problems for you down the line!

prior not via

Don't trial it. The status quo is that you have the day off if you lose that it becomes a lot less clear

Was she not told the hours before she took the job? There are other childminders around, I know it's hard, but you don't seem to have a whole lot of options whereas she does

Do not trial anything. You have requirements that are not temporary. Her are temporary in the sense that her child will no longer require the level of childcare. How shit
Would you feel if this is the child's last few
Months in primary before moving to secondary and cm won't take the child?
This situation should force mum to think about the long term implications of childcare arrangements

I would also block her from texting. She
Isn't nice she is trying to guilt trip you. She making assumptions that you don't have any need for that day off.

When she applied for the position she should have contacted the company
And asked what days she would be required. Failing that, at the end of the
Interview process she should have taken the opportunity given when asked any questions. Grasping at straws when offered
The position she should have asked about the hours/days. She had those chances
To ask. She didn't so tough shit she
Will have to suck it up.

She could even talk to school parents and do a reciprocal arrangement.
Someone has hers on the Wednesday and she will on her day off. She could talk to her partner about flexi time.

do not trial it
Trials have a dangerous habit of being made permanent by default.

Like someone said upthread: other childcare options are available to her for Wednesdays. You are not able to avail yourself of better health. You don't have an option.

Dear manager, I would like to remind you that my disability is a protected characteristic under the equality act. As per the recommendation from my doctor and occupational health I have had Wednesday's off since (date). This should be considered under local practice as my customary day off, any decision to change it will affect my health as well as causing a breach of the equality act.
Regards
Op
Attach a letter from your go stating you need to continue with this day off and any evidence you have from occupational health.

You should take priority, your colleague should have considered her and her dc other parent childcare needs before she took the job. It has always been high on my questions list.

Also changing physio day. You are taking a gamble that your physio will be available on your new day off. Different clients, meetings, their own schedule etc could find you not working 3 days straight but also without the needed physio.

Just say sorry it doesn't work for me. You don't have to give reasons. Just it doesn't
Work for me.

As someone who is also disabled myself I am wondering why you are even trying to accommodate her? You need the break on a Wednesday in order to continue working, therefore your day off is not negotiable. Don't be pushed around on this one otherwise you'll end up having to give up work 😤