To think her childcare issues don't take priority?

[MyFairyKing]

I've been in my current role for a few years. In our team, there needs to be one senior person during opening hours. We have core hours, no shift work. I work 4 days a week and I do this due to health reasons. I applied for this flexible working request and it was accepted as I am disabled as per the Equality Act.

My fellow senior was full-time and we used to rub along well, discussing holidays and negotiating well. She's now left and my new colleague also works 4 days a week. In her previous team, she had the same non working day as me. Manager sat us down yesterday and asked us to agree between us how we work it out or they will have to make a decision for us but they want us both to be happy. I'm not very assertive in real life and I felt totally bamboozled by her and she was going on and on at me about how she arranged childcare to be like this. She wasn't being horrible by the way, just not really thinking about me. FWIW, I have a child too, so I am not unsympathetic.

In terms of contracts, we are both contracted to work X hours per week. There is nothing in our contracts that specifies our non working day.

She text me today, saying she didn't want to put me under pressure (!) but her childminder cannot take or collect her children to school on that day and she doesn't know what to do. I get that she's worried. She's not an unpleasant person at all.

I want to speak to my manager and say that I think I should get priority. I have physiotherapy on my day off and I was getting so ill but having this treatment plus a break in the working week was giving me enough time to recover and be for work when I am there,

AIBU?

Do people honestly think childcare issues trump disability?

Would you honestly be happy to make someone ill rather than go to the trouble of calling around after school clubs and alternative childminders?

You aren't being unreasonable, but then neither is she.

If I moved roles on the understanding I'd keep my current working pattern. I'd be pretty annoyed if after quitting my current role I was informed that I couldn't keep my working days.

Childcare where I live is quite scarce and I genuinely have no idea how I'd cope. Could your boss cover the Wednesdays as he caused this pickle by trying to accommodate everyone?

For those who are saying that both sides have protected characteristics:

equality law allows an employer to treat a disabled worker better – or more favourably – than a non-disabled worker ... The reason the law was designed this way is to recognise that in general disabled people face a lot of barriers to participating in work and other activities.

www.equalityhumanrights.com/sites/default/files/your_rights_working_hours_and_flexible_working.pdf

Pujana we only met on Friday and it does seem that she is trying. To be fair to her, she's not stomped her feet and refused.

RockHopper yep, it does specify a day and I'd have to check the date but I think this report was from late 2015. I'm not against going back to see Occ Health, although I didn't find them amazingly helpful.

I would just be nice but hold firm. "Hmmm, that does sound tough. I wish there was something that could be done. Hmmm, my days can't be changed sadly, hmmm."

Lostinasea I agree with you. She has every right to be pissed off. I just think it's not our problem, as such, I do think management need to step up and take a lead role in this. If they have to sort another senior, then they should. It was their error, not her fault and not mine.

Is childcare really a protected characteristic? I would be very surprised if it is to the extent that your employer has to let you work whatever hours fit in with your chuldminder.

I think you need to be very careful how you please your reply. Don't mention the physio as it's irrelevant. The break is the important factor for you. I would say something along the lines of :

Dear x

Thank you for your message and I appreciate you not putting pressure on me. As a parent myself, I certainly understand the difficulties associated with organising childcare. However, I have Wednesdays off on the advice of my doctor / OT/whoever as it is important to my health that I have a break in the middle of the week. I hope you are able to sort out a satisfactory arrangement for your childcare but unfortunately, I am not in a position to change my day off.

I'm not doubting she can't change her childcare but it is very possible she is very used to this day off and just doesn't want to change. For years I used to have a Monday off and after a promotion as much as I didn't want to change things I had to.
If you explain this day was sanctioned by your dr and that you have regular physio on this day I feel your colleague may feel different and try to move her childcare.

Also, I don't think she's being that nice. She's trying to guilt you into changing.

What happens though if you get a OH note to say you can only work two days at a time? That's different to being employed four days and you choosing your day.

Honestly I think you need to state that your working week is arranged like this as reasonable adjustment and that by the end of Tuesday you are starting to struggle and switching your day off would have a negative impact on your work as well as your health.

Her CM may not be able to do it but there are probably other options out there that are not as convenient but she needs to explore.

I'd see childcare / health needs as being pretty equal, but in the end I'd say that your health needs based on a doctor's recommendation trump her childcare issues.

In terms of the Equality Act, disabilty is a protected characteristic, but so is sex and as your colleague has caring responsibilities, as they tend to impact more on women, she is also covered by the Equality Act.

In the US (where I am) childcare needs don't fall under 'equal treatment under law' other than you couldn't treat a man's childcare needs differently than a woman's childcare needs. I'm very surprised that a woman can claim sex discrimination based solely on not being able to find childcare for a given day.

1. Well this is a management cock-up for not being clear what days someone has to work.

1. Get a doctor letter explaining why you need the working pattern you have.

1. Explain that either performance will go down or your sickness days will go up. Or both probably. If you have to change.

1. You were in place first. Not a great reason admittedly but see point 1. Their fault, not yours.

1. Your new colleague should not have made the assumption and had her working pattern put in writing as part of the job offer. If she was just promoted into post then both she and management didnt discuss it enough.

1. You know your health. Do not make any changes that put it at jeopardy. Do not be flexible and hint that you might make a change. It might work for a week or two and then it will hit you hard, affect you and then it becomes an issue of her changing her childcare again.

No, don't trial it. If you can survive it four weeks, why not six? Why not twelve? Why not permanently? Tell your manager you're sympathetic but be firm. You can't just make yourself healthy magically and it's not worth damaging yourself.

I'm amazed anyone would even try to get a disabled colleague to change their work pattern so that they can have easier childcare. She's lucky you're nice and friendly; rightly or wrongly there are places she could have made herself public enemy number one with that attitude.

Actually OP on balance I see now what you were saying about management.
I thought you meant they should just pick a day
But what I now think you meant was, they shouldn't have presented it as negotiable in the first place - which they shouldn't. You really need Wednesdays off, not simply "a" day off at some point in the week (this wasn't clear to me at first). So this is how the role should have been sold to the new lady (i.e. "4 days including wednesdays").

The text template that has been bounced around a few times on here - I would amend it to say something like "thanks for keeping this conversation open! I'm not sure if management explained this - the reason I need wednesdays is because I can't work more then 2 consecutive days. Sorry if this wasn't made clear from the start! Shall we go back to management and request senior cover for the Wednesday? Regards, OP"

Basically that states that you need the Wednesday and frames it as non-negotiable, then suggests a way forward. Even if you know the management route won't go anywhere, it directs the conversation away from you and makes it implicitly clear that the compromise needs to come either from her or from your workplace.

You're colleague doesn't have every right to be pissed off. She was offered a job and accepted it was up to her to iron out the details before starting. She should not assumed she would get her preferred day off.
Your disability and any accommodations your employer has made should be confidential between you and them. They have put you in an awkward position expecting you to negotiate with a new employee. They are out of order doing this and you need to be clear with them that this isn't acceptable.
As for your colleague, do not reply giving her any info on your disability. It's not her business and any info you give her could end up been twisted and used against you if she doesn't get her way.
Reply and say due to circumstances beyond your control which are confidential, the previous agreement with your employer was negotiated, it was agreed by both sides. Your circumstances haven't changed and won't for the foreseeable future so you are unable to change your pattern.

Keep it short and sweet, no apologies, no explanations just the bare minimum facts.

OP don't offer to trial.

I really think your needs trump hers. But you do need to explain your reasons to her, as you've mentioned.

Remind your manager that having Wednesday off is a medical requirement which not only benefits your health on a personal level, but also is in the best interests of the organisation in terms of days lost due to sickness, and your ability to work as efficiently as possible for the good of the company.

I would, as others have suggested, diplomatically point out that this situation has arisen through poor management, and a lack of communication at interview. No, I wouldn't say it like that, obviously, but I would somehow mention to the manager that this situation should never have arisen, as it was completely avoidable.

Medical reasons every time.
Plus, she has taken a job and should have sorted childcare for each day before starting.
There could have been numerous reasons why she couldn't have that particular day off.

theymademejoin
Don't mention the physio as it's irrelevant. The break is the important factor for you.

OP: I would second this, especially considering the majority of the first 40 or so responses. There are a lot of people with really bad English comprehension skills about, not to mention those who see every situation through the prism of their own personal situation.

She shouldn't even have the right to know that you're disabled. You shouldn't have to explain that to her. Shit management indeed.

Sex is a protected characteristic, not childcare, but it is accepted that caring for dependents can lead to indirect discrimination on the basis of sex. An employer does not have to make adjustments for sex or disability, if they can demonstrate a legitimate business case. It is not clear cut that one protected characteristic 'trumps' another. The Equality act is fairly recent legislation, so the implementation is still being worked through via case law.

Ok. Cam I take a different view. I work in HR and I can not get 4 day week
For whatever reason your employer can say no.
I am desperate for it but yes they legally have to consider it but don't have to agree to it

Talk to her. Come to a compromise on basis they could say it doesn't work having any part time
And do it for those of us that have been told pure and simply ... don't even ask!

So stop moaning. Do something and I would say the same to the other person

Your day off on Wednesday is a reasonable adjustment. It should take priority.

But I am assuming you are physically capable of working a 5 day week fabulous ?

Are you in the OPs HR department ?? Would explain a lot.

I am starting to wonder if I am living under a rock, I have childcare issues and am NOT in any way disabled and half the responses here seem very odd to me.

I just cannot fathom how there is a case to answer, OP keeps her set days the other person adapts or resigns.

And management should be apologising to both of them for this monumental cock up in the first place.