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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. to plan a lengthy commute heavily pregnant?

99 replies

m4rdybum · 12/05/2017 17:41

New member, but always been a lurker on these forums - wasn't sure where the best place to post this would be - and I have no friends with babies/pregnancies who can give me advice.

Me & DH are 90% decided on moving to a town an 1hr away (cheaper house prices, family closer by, love the area). Money is fine and I'm 90% certain I'll get a pay rise (I bloody deserve one) to cover commuting costs, so I can stay at my current job.

The plan is to buy a house in said town and then my DH would like to get a new job and I will commute.

We're both on the cusp of TTC (getting the house is the first priority) but I am really cautious about maternity pay. I'd like to stay where I am so I know I can get it, and also I don't want me be the girl who gets past her 3 month probation at a new job then announces she's pregnant and leaving in 8 months!

This would mean that there's going to be a period of any planned (or unplanned, who the fuck knows) pregnancy that I'll be commuting. The commute is about a 40 min walk to the train station (no buses at that time, leaving house at 5.45am), train at 6.30am to work town, 45 minute walk from station to work - then the same on the way back, but getting a bus home from the station, getting home about 7pm.

We reckon I could get away (depending on timing of said pregnancy) with commuting for 4-6 months before maternity.

BUT, is this even gonna be possible when I'm 6-8 months gone?!

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 12/05/2017 17:43

No. In a word. The length of commute fine, but you will really struggle with 90mins walk each way daily. I had a nearly 2 hour commute each way for most of my pregnancy, but it was largely sedentary and that was still a struggle.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 12/05/2017 17:44

Have you thought about what you would do once you actually have the child or children? A long commute pregnant is very different to one when there's children to be dropped off and collected.

booloobalooloo · 12/05/2017 17:45

It wouldn't have been possible for me beyond about half way. I had bad spd and was on crutches. You don't drive? Could you budget a taxi?

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 12/05/2017 17:45

Sorry, no.

I walk a lot and am fit but even I wouldn't consider it. And I'm not pregnant.

Kokusai · 12/05/2017 17:46

That sounds quite a bad commute!

WhatwouldRuthdo · 12/05/2017 17:46

I couldn't do it, and I'm 25 weeks with DC2 and do a long train/tube commute. You could get SPD (like me, woe) but even if you feel well, the walk is too much.

SpiritedLondon · 12/05/2017 17:48

I don't think that sounds very manageable I'm afraid. I'm also concerned about how you will manage once the baby's arrived. I commute for an hour fifteen and I live in dread of the trains being delayed because my timings are so tight to collect my DD and she is usually out of the house from 07.30 to 17.30. How would you manage your childcare because that's going to be the ongoing issue rather how you will manage when / if you're pregnant.

DeliciouslyHella · 12/05/2017 17:49

No, definitely not.

I've had fairly standard commutes during both of my pregnancies and it's been really hard, particularly towards the end. I'm due in July and my current commute is a drive to the station, 3 trains and then a 10 minute walk - and I'm exhausted.

isthistoonosy · 12/05/2017 17:49

Dc1 i would have been fine with that until 8.5 months.
Dc2 i would have need to stop at 2 months pregnant.

Tbh Id be more worried about the commute with kid drop offs, trying to get home see kids after work etc.

OwlOfBrown · 12/05/2017 17:49

I did a 90-minute commute each way (1 bus, 2 trains) when pregnant but it didn't involve much walking.

I'm afraid it isn't possible to say whether it's doable or not since no-one has any idea how pregnancy will make them feel and what health concerns it might bring with it. I probably could have managed it until the very last couple of weeks, but I know others who had conditions like SPD who certainly couldn't have.

Spam88 · 12/05/2017 17:49

I've had SPD from about 20 weeks and had to stop going to one of my places of work which involved two 15 minutes walks either side of a train journey. Even without that I think I'd just find your commute far too exhausting whilst pregnant.

Original poster
m4rdybum · 12/05/2017 17:50

Have you thought about what you would do once you actually have the child or children?

I wouldn't return to my job once my maternity pay stopped - I'd look for something part time in the town we move to, as we have family there who could help with childcare.

Could you budget a taxi?

Don't really think so :( My pay rise will only just pay for my train fare (which is daft per month!) - I could factor in a monthly bus ticket, but there's no well timed trains to get me there in plenty of time to get the bus to work.

I'd be okay with this not pregnant (I walk everywhere - always have done) but I'm just really struggling with the idea of getting a new job.

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 12/05/2017 17:50

3 hours walking a day? Plus a train x 2 journey?

No.

BIWI · 12/05/2017 17:51

God I wouldn't like to do that commute when I wasn't pregnant!

You're mad to even contemplate this.

SaucyJack · 12/05/2017 17:53

Are there any nice discreet bushes to be sick in on the way?

AnathemaPulsifer · 12/05/2017 17:54

Move after baby is born or aim for 29+ weeks when you can be on maternity leave. Neither is ideal but both are better than the current idea.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 12/05/2017 17:55

Are there any nice discreet bushes to be sick in on the way?

Or for a wee?

TiredMumToTwo · 12/05/2017 17:55

No way & what happens when you go back to work after maternity? Drop offs, pick ups?

gamechangenamechange · 12/05/2017 17:59

Heavily pregnant doing that will suck donkey balls but may not be as awful as doing it in the first tri. That's generally when you have no energy (really & truly - none), cold sweats and spinnies and vomitting. Bad idea. Really. Second trimester - mid third (assuming no SPD etc.) you'd probably fly it though! Except for the constant widdle stops.

Lules · 12/05/2017 17:59

I have a 2 1/2 hr commute (I know). I'm pregnant and it's hard but fine but it's tube/train/bus. There's no way I could walk that far now even at 20 weeks because my pelvis is knackered. And earlier in my pregnancy I just wanted to sleep.

toffeeboffin · 12/05/2017 18:00

Er, no, that's not going to work.

fiorentina · 12/05/2017 18:01

I had a 90 minute commute whilst pregnant but only 20 minutes of that was walking. I had bad SPD and it was v uncomfortable at times. You may be absolutely fine but when you're tired it sounds v hard work. How much could you work from home?

toffeeboffin · 12/05/2017 18:01

Maybe you can have a sleep on the floor of the train perhaps?

Babywearinggeek · 12/05/2017 18:04

No way. I'm 37 weeks now and since about 32 weeks I've opted to get the bus back up the 10 minute hill home from town when I'm out with DS (in his buggy) because quite honestly I can manage the walk up but it tires my body out so much it's not worth it. I walk EVERYWHERE and would say I'm pretty fit this pregnancy but growing a human being is already a massive strain on your body. You at least need the option to take it easy when you're having a rough day. And the wee stop, sick stop is a legit consideration too. Ain't nothing like having a baby jump on your bladder to make you instantly desperate for a wee 🙄

Dixiebell · 12/05/2017 18:04

I have a 20 min walk to the train station. After about 7 months, it took me at least twice as long, particularly by the end I was struggling to manage it. I wouldn't want to do 40 mins + at both ends of the journey.