To think SAHM should get priority over childminders at busy toddler groups?

[HulkMama]

Just wondering how people feel about childminders taking groups of children to a free toddler group that routinely turns stay at home mums away because they are full?

It's a church run group so they don't want to turn anyone away, I get that, but if there isn't room for everyone should childminders be taking up the places that parents with their own kids need?

Childminders are being paid to look after the kids! I just want to get out of the house and have a bit of adult conversation!

Comments from childminders welcome. 😉

Does your library have a rhyme time/nursery rhymes and songs session? These are in most libraries.

I was not a SAHM and I paid my child minder. I think SAHMs should have priority. Childminders, get together and make your own groups - you are being PAID to look after children and that includes giving them socialization opportunities.

I think every activity should prioritise people like me. Especially the free stuff run by volunteers. I'd never have to queue or pay then and others can do the volunteering.

I have seen it where I live, I had to put my name on a list. The group was almost entirely childminders, and they got priority. I left after a few weeks after being rudely spoken to as apparently as lived in the wrong village !! FFS!!

I think SAHM should take priority. The childminders are running a business. There's a difference.

Yes childminders get paid but why does this mean that they have to stay in all day and not interact with other adults/childminders? If your not able to get there 15 minutes before to get to the front of the queue imagine how difficult it is for childminder with a brood of bored children! I would want my child to have access to these classes, whether that's with me or a childminder.

Sorry, but I think YABU.

The SAHM is having to multitask and prioritise her life. The childminder is working a job. The childminder should be concentrating on that. Very different.

If I paid someone to have my kids I'd bloody well want them to take the kids out of the house (parks, groups, sessions whatever). However its a bit cliquey where I am. I know quite a few of the local childminders and tag along to a few groups sometimes. Its normally 90% cm's

Sorry I think they are there for the child's benefit, so the children can learn to socialise in larger class sized groups, ready for nursery, this includes the children of parents who work and have to send them to a child minder.
The added benefit of you being able to have adult company without having to entertain is just that!

This is the most bizarre thread. The children are the priority at the groups no matter who they are with. CMs who take the kids out in the area are the fantastic ones, not keeping the cooped up all day.

I found being a SAHM incredibly lonely and isolating. I had depression and social anxiety, still do but I'm working now which is much better and so much easier. There's no way I'd be able to run a group myself. It would have been nice to have groups and support, the same way they have support groups for teen mums. There's nothing wrong with wanting to use such groups to meet others in the same position. Same for childminders, it's might be better for them to have their own groups too, they have different issues to discuss and will be around longer. It's quite nice to be with similar people sometimes, especially if we feel vulnerable. It's such a shame sure start centres have been cut so much as they could've helped so many mums and childminders.

it really doesnt matter who you think is the priority unless you are the people running the group in question (repeats point made a thousand times on thread already). its a voluntary group run by volunteers. they choose the rules. and no, your taxes dont pay for it.

HulkMama I saw you post a thread about this on a local Facebook group... you must live in the same town as me. Just get there earlier. No stress x

I'm just shocked that toddler groups are full! I've never heard of that

Where I live there is one toddler group that was for SAHMs only where I was on the waiting list for 14 months. I kid you not. The fact that it was parents only made it very popular.
Another one also had a good 6-8 month waiting list.
You felt a bit smug when you actually got in. Brings back memories of night club days.

closes eyes and starts reminiscing about clubbing and staying in bed all day recovering. While simultaneously missing the point of the thread

Sing t

So because working moms use a cm their kids should take second place below sahm?
This is about the kids.
Why shouldn't the cm kids be able to socialise. If the cm doesn't take them, then who does?
Why should they be penalised because the parents work?
Nobody should get priority.
Op can sort this easily by getting there 15 minutes earlier and possibly even making some friends with the people there waiting.

I'm a childminder, I go to 3 groups a week, 2 of which are run by childminders, all are welcome. And there is not one of us who at one time or another hasn't talked a mum down off the edge. The mum who's child always seems to be the one in trouble, we can tell her her we've seen it all before, it's going to be fine, she is not alone. The mum who's child isn't potty trained at 3 and all her family are judging her, we can chat to her about the many many children we've had who've been much later than that who have now grown up got degrees and fantastic careers.
What I'm trying to say is, many of us have been that lonely mum, the groups I go to we all interact together for the good of the children and to help the isolated sahms, we have many many years of experience between us and love to share it, especially when it means a mum walking out that day knowing that what she's going through is going to pass.

YABU as I think about the needs of the children and those with a childminder have as much right to access the resource as the children that are arriving with parents.

In our area popular toddler groups always have a cut off so people know to arrive super early or not bother turning up.

I'm a SAHM. I need to get out the house for adult conversation but those groups are for kids to enjoy, therefore, arrive early to avoid disappointment. If my children were being looked after by a childminder I would want them to have the same opportunities and attend the group. Childminders are there to look after children and provide them with fun activities as much as SAHM's.

YABU I was a SAHM until DD was 2.5 and toddler groups are for the children they shouldn't miss out on days out because their parents work.

YABU. As several people have said, it's about helping the kids to socialize, isn't it? It shouldn't matter whether you're are a CM or a SAHM.

BTW, why should CMs be expected to start these groups? This would either a/. be in their own time, or b/. in the time of the parent who's paying them. If, a/. what makes you think they have any more free time than a SAHM? If b/. I would be pretty unhappy if I was paying her to mind my child, and she spent that time setting up a group for other people's children!

YABU and sound unpleasant.

I do think kids at a cm have less need of socialisation opportunities as surely the cm will always have other children? A first or only child with a parent new to the area or just without other parent friends needs these kind of groups for their child.

This whole ridiculous argument would be resolved if the OP just turned up 15 mins early. When she starts down that line I thought she was going to say an hour or something, but 15 minutes is nothing.

Sorry, childminders are often the backbone of groups. Maybe the group shouldn't be free? A small charge towards a craft, drink and snack may discourage childminders with loads of kids and improve the quality of crafts etc. You could also offer help with leading singing or washing up which would guarantee you a place and get you conversation too.