To think SAHM should get priority over childminders at busy toddler groups?

[HulkMama]

Just wondering how people feel about childminders taking groups of children to a free toddler group that routinely turns stay at home mums away because they are full?

It's a church run group so they don't want to turn anyone away, I get that, but if there isn't room for everyone should childminders be taking up the places that parents with their own kids need?

Childminders are being paid to look after the kids! I just want to get out of the house and have a bit of adult conversation!

Comments from childminders welcome. 😉

Turn up early
Childminders also want to get out the house and have adult conversation. Some may argue their need is greater as they have multiple kids to entertain.

Get their earlier?

You know it fills up, get your butt there earlier.

How does the group allocate places? Do you all just turn up and queue and when the hall's full the doors are closed?

Speak to the leaders about there being staggered entry/an extra session etc.

I'm just shocked that toddler groups are full! I've never heard of that.

First come, first served.

If there's a huge demand, could you set one up yourself, I ran a couple when my children were small, not because the others were full, but because there weren't any.

Set up your own group.

What do you want them to do, either kick the childminders out when you arrive, or question people as they come in and allocate a certain number of spaces for sahm?

What about parents who work part time and are on their day off?

Bonkers! Just get there early enough.

I would be so frustrated if it happened on a regular basis. They're essentially monopolising their services. If you want childcare, you'll have to go to them (for a fee) just so you have access to the groups.

I can't imagine what you could do other than talk to the people that run the groups and see if they would be willing to start one for SAHM only. It might mean having to help out or seeing if you could get a team of mums to pitch in cash/time to get it started.

Sorry to hear about this, hope it works out!

Well first come first serve, Get there earlier? If you know it's a busy group surely you'd just turn up earlier

No I don't think sahm gets priority over child minders. why should they?

It should be first come first serve, there's usually loads of toddler groups to chose from, if all these "sahm's" want to routinely be turned away from the same group then that's their business.

The groups are for the child And it shouldn't matter one jot who brings them.

Either get there earlier, or volunteer yourself (fundraising/ setting up/packing away; doesn't have to be running the sessions) so the group's capacity can increase.

I'm just shocked that toddler groups are full! I've never heard of that.

I've known quiet a few with waiting lists.

I don't remember any that turned away once you go there - though think children centre ones thought about it.

It would put me off going I think. Have you looked to see what other groups there are - most only charge a pound or two to cover costs.

I took my DC to toddler groups to give them chance to mix with other children. There were often times I would have been quite happy not going. Yes, I did like chatting to other adults but I also like doing other things too and there is only so much chatting you can do whilst looking after your toddler.

The thing is that those childminders keep the group going for everyone. Sahps come and go but the childminders tend to be constant.

I used to take my ds to a church run group where we queued down the street to get in. Once they reached capacity they closed.

Everyone had the same chance to get in. That's fair.

I don't think YABU. Most of the groups around here are parent and toddler groups - clue is in the name. But then a lot of the soft plays around here consist of childminders dumping their mindees whilst they gossip and chat amongst themselves. And yes, I know not all childminders are like that.

I just want to get out of the house and have a bit of adult conversation

Then join a book club.

Toddler groups are primary for the benefit of the toddlers. No, they shouldn't be allowed or declined entry based on how 'worthy' their carer that day is.

As for turning child minders away - that surely a decision for who runs the group.

I know at least one of the groups I went to was set up and one of the main people behind that was a child minder.

This is totally bizarre. Why on earth should SAHMs get priority? Why should the children being looked after by childminders have to miss out on groups because you want some adult conversation? Do parents of multiple children also have to let you go first so they're not hogging all the spaces with their sibling sets?

They've got just as much right to be there as you, if you don't like it go somewhere else or get there early.

Find out when the local childminders play group is and arrange a new group for that time.

As a side note, how do you arrange toddler groups? I was thinking this morning that is like to start one as we have a severe lack of baby music groups in my area!

Childminder here.

The children's centre stopped us attending a few years ago for this reason. Instead we now hire the centre on a different day to run our own group just for CMs.

The other regular toddler groups are available to use and in large parts, we help run them! Consistently there and able to be keyholders, often we bring along crafts and initiate song time or story time. We also plan larger events such as easter egg hunts.

Overall I think we are a valuable addition. Don't forget the children we look after come from the area too and why should they miss out socialising with their peers that they may soon go to school with just because their parents have to work. This is one of the reasons many parents choose a cm over a nursery.

Why would they turn away some people in the hope that some other people might turn up later but might not?

If it's first come first served, the answer is simple: get there earlier

I'm a SAHM but I think YABU.

If you know it fills up, get there earlier.

The childminders aren't doing it for their own enjoyment, it's for the benefit of their mindees. If you ban childminders you're penalising the children. Harsh.

I have first hand experience of this.
Two years ago I moved to a new area and didn't really know anyone and had a 9 month old and a two year old. I found a local group run by a church which advertised 'as a place to meet other parenya' and it's great. I found it really supportive and the women That run it are wonderful.
So here's the thing. A group of four or five childminders attend regularly. They spend the whole time talking to each other and ignore their charges a lot. Ok fine. Didn't bother me. They've all known each other years.
A few times the place became full and some parents couldn't get in. I felt for them because these groups are really important to people who have young children and don't know anyone/many people. It occurred to me that the childminders were 'technically' taking up the space of someon more deserving. However, that's not reasonable, but I know the women who run my group do agree as they see as an opportunity to build the community.
So OP I agree with you on principle, but in reality you couldn't enforce this.