To think SAHM should get priority over childminders at busy toddler groups?

[HulkMama]

Just wondering how people feel about childminders taking groups of children to a free toddler group that routinely turns stay at home mums away because they are full?

It's a church run group so they don't want to turn anyone away, I get that, but if there isn't room for everyone should childminders be taking up the places that parents with their own kids need?

Childminders are being paid to look after the kids! I just want to get out of the house and have a bit of adult conversation!

Comments from childminders welcome. 😉

Yep hopefully summer will mean the groups are quieter as people are out in parks/gardens more. And in September the dynamics usually change as children get their extra nursery hours/start pre school/school. It's hard work being a SAHM OP so I get your frustration! Perhaps not articulated well this time but I get the reliance placed upon playgroup when that's sometimes the only adult interaction/change of scene you get all day.

EivissaSenorita - still think regularly drinking on an afternoon whilst looking after kids is a reason to raise eyebrows. What's wrong with tea and cake?

YANBU.
I stopped going to a local church toddler group because a childminder used the only disabled space because it was convenient to unload her mindees.....
As I couldn't park and walk with my DC, it meant we then couldn't go....and although the leaders talked to her she parked in it every week.
It became too difficult so we were effectively pushed out of the group :(

I've go to a group now where the CM tend to sit chatting and not looking after their mindees, and the mums are a bit but say nothing. It certainly stops you advertising their services when they ask you to!

Yes a bit weird to be criticising cm's for not being focused on the children yet the parents are fine to sit around drinking wine!
I have seen cm's and parents who completely ignore their kids at toddler groups but hoverers that direct the kids play and don't give them the chance to work out minor problems themselves are just as bad. A happy medium is best I think. Nothing wrong with having a chat and a biscuit while the children are happily engaged in playing.

I'm struggling to see the angst. You know it is busy, so get there earlier.

Cm are great for toddler groups because they keep going year after year, whereas parents inevitably go for a couple of years and then move on.

If it wasn't for childminder and nannies then the various groups I go to would have folded

But CMs are only allowed 3 under 5s each, so they're hardly bringing hordes of kids are they? What a strange way of thinking that parents should take priority. If my child went to a CM it would be very important to me that they socialise outside of that setting too, just as important as it would be if I was a SAHM.

Sorry haven't RTFT but have you looked to see if there's an NCT group in your area. That's where I made the strongest mum-friend bonds.

My DS's nursery takes a group of them to the music class at the local library. I think it's nice they get out and about.

I personally don't agree with OP and do think that CM have as much right to attend toddler groups as parents do

Childminders are providing a useful community and economic function - the economy could not run without them as there are not enough nursery places. We need to ensure they don't all give up! (which with new funding arrangements, is possible).

As a SAHM you are inwardly focused on your family and child, as to be expected. In my view, the childminder deserves the places more.

What about the childminder with his/her own kids?

Its amazing the childminder with the most kids gets themselves and multiple kids out of the house and there early enough -- maybe ask them for them for some tips?

YABVU.

I get that it's annoying. There's a church run toddler group near me and if you don't get there 20 mins before the start and get in the queue you just won't get in. I find it a stress, especially when I've got two kids to wrangle, and i've told them we are going there and then the bus is late! So we don't go often.

But it never occurred to me to be annoyed if there were childminders getting in before me! It's just the luck of the draw, so get there earlier.

My ds, who is cared for by a lovely childminder 5 days a week, does not have a lesser entitlement to attend a group than dc who have a parent at home full time.

Kids at a childminder are already socialising with other kids
A lot of dc with SAHPs will have siblings. Their parents may have friends with dc. They already get to socialise with other dc also.

I do sympathise OP, there is a group of childminders at my local toddler group who really take the piss.

There are 3 of them who jointly seem to manage 9 DCs (I assume 3 each) but many of these are well over the average age of the group. They just run riot, pushing the little ones out of the way, snatching toys, pinching all the nice biscuits from the snack area where the lovely volunteer older ladies are too kind-hearted to say anything

I think they should start charging per DC, not per family tbh. Maybe a discounted rate for siblings? Idk, but it's horrible to see the good natures of the group's organisers being taken advantage of and actual parents being turned away.

How about socialising with the childminders. It's tricky if they are all speak a different language and like to converse in it but when my DC were little the childminders tended to mix in with the Mums and Dads not completely but it definitely us verses them.

Omg i'm seriously not getting the problem.
Just go 15 minutes early.
What is the big deal?

I can see both sides of this.

I think the sad thing is that there aren't enough places for everyone.

I'm a WOHM with youngest DC in a nursery so not really invested in this debate either way.

I don't like seeing totally ignored children when I do get to take my little one to softplay or other places. Whether they are with parents, cm or whoever.

Hillarious tea and cake you say? Don't you know sugar is equivalent to crack cocaine these days. And the difference between a childminder ignoring a mindee and a parent enjoying a glass of wine is you are PAYING the childminder to look after your children.

I can't imagine a toddler group,being that amazing that people are willing to queue up for 20 mins to get in. Round here they've just shut down a playgroup because they didn't get enough people through the doors to justify it.

YABU. The obvious solution is to arrive 15 minutes early. I see no reason at all for SAHMs to receive preferential treatment. Would you also turn away a WOHM who brought her child to the group on her day off?

I can completely understand the desire for adult conversation. But that isn't really the purpose or function of toddler groups, just a secondary benefit. And who knows, if you strike up a conversation with one of the childminders she may end up becoming a good friend.

I do feel uncomfortable with volunteers/the voluntary sector having no choice but to help facilitate someone's business at the expense of another child and their parent. I previously volunteered at a toddlers group as I had found support there in the early days and I wanted to give back. There was no competition for places thankfully.

We have waiting lists here. Which infuriates me, I am here, at the door with a child ready to play. They may have 20 names of people who are at home doing whatever with no intention of going to play group at day, but they get priority over me.

No NCT coffee mornings (were 2, both stopped. No idea why.)

LMAO at all the wine and bookclub comments! I should have been clearer: it is nice to talk to another adult at some point in the day. Its been a tough couple of weeks.
Let me assure you that no childminders were harmed during the posting of this thread.

I fully don't understand the point?

Explain the rationale behind SAHM taking places over CM's?

Next you'll be suggesting that people with multiple pre-schoolers of their own shouldn't attend. Perhaps they could leave one or two children at home?!

I've been a sahm and a childminder. I often had my own child as well as mindees. Sometimes I actually only had one mindee with me so the argument for socialising doesn't always apply.

I've been going to toddler groups for way longer than I would have with my own children too - some wouldn't stay open without the childminders!

So, you're a SAHM, but you can't get to the group 15 minutes earlier? Really?