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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact sons teacher and make her feel as shit as she has made him feel!!

210 replies

cherryberrymum · 10/05/2017 16:00

I'm bloody furious and I'm counting on the Mumsnet massive to make me see perspective here.

Son is doing AS levels. One of his teachers who has been laid back to say the least all year has suddenly realised her entire class are not going to pass!!!!

I have done the subject previously and have been helping him the best I can but after a recent disaster in a class test I sent him to ask her for advice.

He said she sat back in her chair arms behind her head and just said he had written a crap answer and it only deserved 3 out of 20 but she felt generous and gave him 6 out of twenty. 😟

Who the hell is that benefiting???? He is home now feeling crap about the first exam which is next Tuesday! She didn't give him any guidance on how to improve his answer. Just told him to read the question in future. He finished tomo for study leave but I'm so bloody cross!!!

WIBU to contact her tomo morning and tell her she's a Knob! Or should I wait till parents meetings in October (assuming he passes AS levels and gets back to do A Levels)

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 10/05/2017 16:02

How old is he?

GemmaWella81 · 10/05/2017 16:03

Maybe he should try harder or ask support when its appropriate if he's struggling. At the 11th hour isn't on really...

ScarlettFreestone · 10/05/2017 16:03

Did he read the question?

HirplesWithHaggis · 10/05/2017 16:05

But she did give him guidance - "read the question." It's pretty elementary and used to be emphasised at the start of every exam, but it seems it's still a problem.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 10/05/2017 16:06

This is probably a time to take a deep breath and focus on helping your son with his studies the best you can in the time you've got. If she really is that bad then you don't need to do anything-it will show up in the results from her class and the school will become aware. Every teacher I know is held hostage to exam results so it won't go unnoticed.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/05/2017 16:06

How old is he.

Why does that matter. The child's upset.

YANBU, op. For a start teachers should not be using inappropriate language. By all means call her out on it. If she has children she wouldn't accept it for them. However as much as I can understand that you're tempted calling her a knob is not the best way to approach things, even though. I agree with you. She is a knob

livefornaps · 10/05/2017 16:11

What subject is it? And what sort of school? This is reminiscent of some really bad experiences at grammar schools where some teachers think that because the kids are bright that they should do it all off their own backs and anything else is "spoonfeeding".

Yes okay he should have asked for help earlier (and if necessary, this should have been escalated earlier), but for her to kick back & give such a glib answer is terrible. Where is the mark scheme? And where exactly did he go wrong? Is it knowledge lacking or his approach?

All he can do is ensure he has enough knowledge of the subject's key points and keep a cool head. Why on earth there were not mock exams that would have highlighted clangers like these I do not know.

TheSnowFairy · 10/05/2017 16:13

But was his low mark because he hadn't read the question properly?

skippy67 · 10/05/2017 16:15

AS levels, so usually 17 or 18 years old.

livefornaps · 10/05/2017 16:16

And "read the question" can be such annoying advice when you are genuinely lost!!! If it's a humanities subject, I would advise he highlight the key terms, state what he understands by them & how he will apply them to the material in question. I'm guessing it is a humanities subject as the marks available are so numerous for one question - apologies if I am barking up the wrong tree. Often if students are scoring really badly it is because they are describing rather than analysing. Hence - take a key term from the question, break it down (what does he think it means?) and then spell out clearly exactly how it applies. Don't take for granted that an examiner can second guess - even if it feels like he is stating the obvious!! Good marks go to answers that are easy to follow (and therefore easy to mark)

Iamdobby63 · 10/05/2017 16:17

I think you need to discuss this teacher with the school, if all her class are underachieving then she can't hide and the school will want to know why.

Floralnomad · 10/05/2017 16:18

awwlook What language was inappropriate ?

downwifthekidz100 · 10/05/2017 16:19

What makes you think the entire class aren't going to pass?

My limited knowledge of post 16 students is that they are naturally a bit pessimistic about exams, their course, teaching and possibly life in general.It's supposed to be a bridge between school and Uni so students are supposed to be more self sufficient with both coursework and exams.

livefornaps · 10/05/2017 16:19

The "crap answer" comment, I am guessing

alltouchedout · 10/05/2017 16:22

Any eejit can tell someone to 'read the question'. Teachers are trained professionals, they should be able to give an awful lot more guidance than that.

GwenStaceyRocks · 10/05/2017 16:23

So you consider the teacher to have been laid back all year and you've felt you had to try to supplement her teaching, have you mentioned this to the school?
Also, I doubt very much she said he had written a crap answer so your DS has summarised how her response made him feel but his summary might have missed out the detail. He might have been so caught up in his emotional response that he missed the detail of what she was saying.

Faithless12 · 10/05/2017 16:23

I fail to see your point. She has helped him, read the question is the first thing in exams. Also answer all of the questions, I hate getting exams papers dotted with holes I can't give you marks for nothing.

NotYoda · 10/05/2017 16:25

Yes!! Make her feel shit!!!!!! And use more!!!!

livefornaps · 10/05/2017 16:25

Yes @alltouchedout, I agree!!

Bluntness100 · 10/05/2017 16:25

Ok, take a deep breath. In stead of blaming the teacher I'd want to know now the other kids did. Did they all get six out of twenty or there about? How did the class perform on average.

Yes it could be all the teachers fault, or maybe your son is not performing and left it too late and trying to offset your feelings on that saying everyone is in the same boat and it's all the teachers fault. It sounds to me like he didn't read the question. Was that because he didn't understand it or he simply didn't take the time.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, I'd try to find out how my son was performing in terms of the overall class and work my way from there.

StarDanced · 10/05/2017 16:26

As a teacher I agree that her attitude is poor. However I think the most important thing to do at this stage is to get him prepared for the exam. You can then deal with the teacher situation after the exams. What exam is he taking? My advice is to download past papers and the markschemes from the examboard website and get him to do mock papers and then mark them. He should start to see what he needs to include in his answers. If it is a science subject i would suggest you mark some questions. Use a highlighter pen and highlight exactly what points were awarded marks. This will allow him to see what part of his answers are unecessary and will save him time in the exam. Also look at boosting his confidence before the exam. Ensure he does 'active' revision which is not just reading. Rough note writing and exam papers are a good approach. Make your focus the exams and then deal with the school so as not to distract your son.

Wecks · 10/05/2017 16:26

The how old is he is because there is a thing on MN usually by parents of small children that if your child is over 16 you should no longer parent them. They must go out to work as well as studying hard, and not need any parental support or guidance. Hmm

Telling him to read the question is not very constructive to say the least. Perhaps there was more to it?
Did he have mocks? How did he do?
The best way to perfect exam technique is to do old papers and read the examiner's report which goes into a lot of detail about where people went wrong. I know this year's exams are new but this would still be a useful exercise.
However if you do contact the teacher I suggest you adopt a neutral tone and ask her opinion of his work rather than complaining about this conversation.

Krispydoughnut · 10/05/2017 16:27

I think he would feel worse if he did fail!

The teacher is probably trying very hard to shock him into getting it together. It would be far worse if she let him fail to spare his feelings. I am sure there will have been several attempts, perhaps that your child hasn't understood or communicated, and this is very last chance.

ilovesooty · 10/05/2017 16:27

Have you raised any concerns about covering the syllabus prior to this? Has your son asked for any guidance on technique? Who says she has "suddenly" decided the whole class are not going to pass?

Allthebestnamesareused · 10/05/2017 16:29

I don't understand where you get she has realised the whole class are going to fail because your son did badly in one class test.

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