To contact sons teacher and make her feel as shit as she has made him feel!!

[cherryberrymum]

I'm bloody furious and I'm counting on the Mumsnet massive to make me see perspective here.

Son is doing AS levels. One of his teachers who has been laid back to say the least all year has suddenly realised her entire class are not going to pass!!!!

I have done the subject previously and have been helping him the best I can but after a recent disaster in a class test I sent him to ask her for advice.

He said she sat back in her chair arms behind her head and just said he had written a crap answer and it only deserved 3 out of 20 but she felt generous and gave him 6 out of twenty. 😟

Who the hell is that benefiting???? He is home now feeling crap about the first exam which is next Tuesday! She didn't give him any guidance on how to improve his answer. Just told him to read the question in future. He finished tomo for study leave but I'm so bloody cross!!!

WIBU to contact her tomo morning and tell her she's a Knob! Or should I wait till parents meetings in October (assuming he passes AS levels and gets back to do A Levels)

I agree 💯 about the Btech. It's being done as part of a fitness group he's been going to for years and he's in the second year so it's almost finished. He's looking at 3 A's in the other subjects and what looks like a c in Sociology. (Although before u loose your heads ladies I understand the grade boundaries are as yet to be proven)

Our plan would be that he continues with his three decent subjects and leave our options open with Sociology.

I will refrain from making any further comments about the teacher as it is clearly offending the sensibility of those in the profession. A disclaimer would be that those remarks were made in anger and not a reflection on the teaching practice of any teachers within this group.

I will refrain from making any further comments about the teacher as it is clearly offending the sensibility of those in the profession
It's not about "offending the sensibilities" (that kind of tone is exactly what's provoking a reaction because it's very "poor me I can't say anything without causing offence").

It's about approaching challenges/ concerns in a constructive way through the correct channels. As I've said multiple times, when parents call me up and are polite and willing to talk I'm more than happy to help. When someone storms in being an arse, I'm less inclined to go the extra mile.

NancyWake Some cohorts can be stronger/weaker than others. Some work harder than others, some come from feeders that mollycoddle etc.

Obviously, if there are issues then it needs addressing by school. But I've experienced enough 6th formers who love to pass the buck to be cautious before accepting their issues at face value. (E.g. I picked up an upper 6th group a couple of years back and they claimed their previous teacher hadn't taught am entire section of the course. He had.) Always advise caution to parents before storming into school complaining. A more measured response is always much better in terms of getting a good resolution.

It's only offending the sensibilities of some teachers, others seem to be able to be perfectly reasonable.

I thought alicatte's posts had been sensible, she can see the issue from both sids
Really? Seemed very one sided to me.

I will refrain from making any further comments about the teacher as it is clearly offending the sensibility of those in the porfession

Oh please. You just cannot fathom that your DS might not be so perfect, you might not have understood what qualifications your DS was taking and you are a little annoyed your initial rant brought up some valid points that you were not willing to hear or accept.

It's only offending the sensibilities of some teachers, others seem to be able to be perfectly reasonable.
Who? Those no longer in teaching with no understanding of the new Linear qualifications?

What is it with MN all the stories lately about teachers being horrible to kids? (and then the thread gets deleted... funny that)

I thought alicatte's posts had been sensible, she can see the issue from both sids
Really? Seemed very one sided to me.
Because in these kind of threads the only correct view is "go and complain! You must have the whole picture on the say so of a teenager"

What is it with MN all the stories lately about teachers being horrible to kids? (and then the thread gets deleted... funny that)
It's exam time. Fairly common for people who've not worked as hard to start with excuses about why they might not do as well. Plus towards the end of the year, some children are tired and ready for the holiday so behaviour gets a bit more tricky. This week I've had words with 6 students who are normally amazing because they've had behaviour reports. If their parents were on MN maybe there'd be a thread about how "my child is a good child but they got a detention for x y z. How mean is the teacher."
As ever, these threads remind me why I'm so happy that the vast majority of parents are great, supportive and raise issues calmly and appropriately rather than wanting to call me crap and complain.

I think you should stop discussing the matter with other parents because it sounds like it could turn into a bit of a witch hunt. Your only concern is what is happening with your son and that should be your focus. Ime, people struggling as your son is can sometimes use the fact that others are struggling to turn the blame on the teacher. But it does not follow that just because more than one student is struggling, the teacher is to blame.

I remember years ago when I was quite new to the profession a girl doing English Literature A level had been struggling with the coursework because it required, you know, reading books, with it being an A level in literature. We (there were two of us teaching the group) had done our best to help her, but it was difficult to get past the fact that she knew very little about the novel - hadn't read it, hadn't even researched it, and was basing everything on a film version. At parents' evening she announced 'everyone knows there's a problem with English in this school.' I can still remember the sick feeling in my stomach when she said this. The 'everyone' was her friends who she had told about the 'problem', who didn't even take the subject. The 'problem' was that English involved reading. Who knew? SLT were supportive, but we ended up pretty much doing the coursework for her .

Another girl (GCSE) got a C on a piece of coursework when her target was a B. She was part of a top set who I had to take over halfway through the course - they missed their old teacher and didn't like me at first. Everyone else in the class had got B-A*, yet when she came to discuss her grade she told me 'everyone' had said they were unhappy with the teaching and their grade. They weren't - she was the only one not to get her target.

Beware of 'everyone' and 'all the lads', as these expressions generally just mean 'me and perhaps a couple of my friends.' Students can then start using it is a bit of an excuse not to try themselves. Not saying this is happening here, or that your son is like the examples above, but I don't like the way you keep referring to others in the class.

And whether you think so or not, the percentages you have quoted will almost certainly be enough for decent passes in an essay based subject like sociology. Your opinion of whether they are high enough is irrelevant.

At the end of the day I think this all comes down to having an understanding of how to gather information about a situation and how to approach possible problem.

• First, parents need to gather accurate information and full story and not have a knee jerk reaction based on several brief comments. So things seem to not be going well and after a few comments it might be thought a teacher is doing a terrible job. It could be true, but more information needs to be gathered to discover this, especially about the context. If I was worried that my child had received a piece of work back that was said to be poor and they said no help or advice had been given, I would be asking these question so"

were you given advice before doing it? Have you put enough time and effort into producing the work and made use of previous work, notes and advice,. Have you had teaching before about reading the question. Have you asked for help when you don't understand and do you feel you can do this if you ask at the right time and allow enough time for the adviser? does this feel like a one off issue or is it part of an ongoing issue where you are not being shown how to do things?

As I said earlier, you cannot judge a teacher and their teaching on a response in one situation. This may have been a quick meeting the teacher had before another lesson when there were only 2 minutes until their next lesson and the student had simply hung around to ask a quick question at the end of the lesson. Lots of advice about the essay may have been given in advance of writing it or it could be that the next lesson would be devoted to it. that teacher might regularly meet with students for more detailed discussion if it's arranged in advance for a time that suits them both. the fact that a long detailed explanation wasn't given in this one meeting doesn't mean the teacher is not doing their job. The bigger context of what is happening from the teacher, plus how the child is engaging with them and also their efforts with work at home are all part of the bigger picture which is needed to start wondering if there is an issue.

So, there might be an issue or not. And if having asked all of these questions and thought about the broader picture you decide there might be, the next thing to consider is how to move things forward to get progress. It's not about retribution and blame because those won't help a hold do better in their exams, but it's about finding constructive ways to move forward. So approaching a school with a query and a clear willingness to engage in constructive conversation rather than seeking to blame and want punishment will result in more positive outcomes for your son. Fortunately most parents know all of this and when problems do occur, which they can sometimes, they are able to help their child. However, a determination to judge based on scant evidence, to have knee jerk reactions * want to make the teacher feel as shit as they made my son feel and call him a knob just won't be of help to your son in doing better in their a levels and surely that is what matters here.

It's fine to feel initial irritation at things, but important to recognise the need to think and ask more deeply before reacting.

I didn't complain you know. But I understood how the OP felt.

I too have had parents take the word of their child and come at me guns blazing. I have, so far, always been able to defend myself to the parent because the record was in my favour. So I know what being accused feels like too. I also know what it is like to be expected to work miracles, or become an unpaid tutor for a child by anxious and sometimes very demanding parents. I think we have all been there.

I also know it can be that a department takes an unsuccessful path for a while. Usually because they are required to by those further up the food chain to be honest.

Once again, and sorry if you feel it is 'one sided', this young man is the one who matters now and I just wanted to let the OP know it is possible, especially as he seems fine elsewhere. It adds to my confidence that he can pull it back even in short time frame. I showed this thread to my son who remembered the time I spoke of and he said that he had felt it was amazing that just by reading a short book and looking at a few pages he had jumped from C/B to a high A*. He told me to tell the OP to tell her son he can do it. Anyway the OP seems to have done everything she can to help her son now. I wish him the very best of luck in his learning and good fortune in the exam.

As I said before. The kid is a quiet hard working student. He does all the work asked of him and does contribute well in class. I know he isn't perfect but I doubt very much he is guilty of the things implied below.

Again! As I said before. I wrote my original post when I was upset. Now the teacher is not even in my thought process instead I'm concentrating on getting him through this exam. An exam incidentally which I am aware of and do understand despite being accused otherwise.

A little note to the teachers who have been very helpful in giving their point of view.
As a professional myself, I am aware that not all colleagues are diligent so please be assured I am not taking the "oh my precious child approach" I know this person has not been as organised or helpful as all his other teachers for whatever reason. However now you are right. It's pointless hurling accusations at her. My focus is on Spud and getting him a decent grade so he can continue to do A levels next year. (As is the procedure in his school)