Too think people should stop commenting on people's choice of 'hot weather' clothes

[user1485342611]

I know people who are self conscious about their arms, legs, or birthmarks or whatever and are always very careful to dress in a way that hide them. Most of them dread Summer because they will be met with constant comments of 'would you. not be cooler in a t-shirt, that top must be very warm', 'I could lend you a pair of shorts. You must be sweltering in those jeans', 'Do you not think it's time to ditch the tights until Winter'?

I remember, years ago, when I was very self conscious, being at the receiving end of some of those comments myself and really hating the first days of Summer.

So AIBU to think that people should stop commenting to friends or relatives about how they choose to dress on a Summer's day? They're probably feeling self conscious enough without you sticking your oar in.

I don't understand these sorts of people, same goes for the types who analyse what you are eating. It in annoying but I just ignore it. They must have little else to concern themselves with.

I do love this weather :) wear whatever makes you happy I say :)

Not all of them Navy and anyway there's always a smart arse that I don't know who thinks it's their right to comment on my clothing

As opposed to MN where it's perfectly fine to ask people why they are dressed a certain way. I find it hard to believe that there are so many people out there that are that crass!

I'm so glad that my friends wouldn't behave like that. I never expose my legs but I don't wear coats or jumpers in cold weather very often - I imagine they trust me to be able to dress myself

Imagine the convo:

'Aren't you hot?'

'Oh do you know what, I am - I didn't realise. Thanks for pointing that out to me only I'm too thick to know what to wear for my own personal comfort'

Tbf Navy it's you that is refusing to believe anyone who has a different opinion. I'm surprised that someone who would comment negatively on someone's clothes hasn't worked out that some people do things differently.

Or
"Aren't you hot?"

"No, not really- I feel the cold"
"Yes, I'm roasting actually, I wish I'd worn something else"
"Yes a little bit, but I didn't have time to get changed after work, what can you do"
Yes, but I fucked my fake tan up and my legs are in a right state"
"Er, no"

These are all normal conversations I've actually heard in real life, without anyone getting upset about terrible, hurtful, offensive insensitivity. What I haven't ever heard is someone being given one of the answers above and then going on about it until the other person cries, or hits them, or storms off. Maybe I should be more appreciative of the clearly unusual stoicism of everyone I've ever met.

How about "aren't you hot?"

"Yes, but I have self harm scars on my arms and I don't like people seeing them."

"Yes, but I've put on weight and am ashamed of how my body looks."

"Yes, but because of things that have happened in my past I don't feel comfortable exposing my body."

Because of this thread and one other, i left the office thinking it must be really warm.

I still needed my coat going home. Many people on bus wearing heavier coats, mines just a rain coat.

Ask the people wearing coats on the bus if they're not feeling hot.

Can I just point out that my scarring is not due to self harm but because of an incident with exh

One neighbour gets her arse out in very short shorts the minute there is a bit of sun and I wish she wouldn't but I'd never say anything . The other day she had leggings on that were so revealing she might as well have been naked. I actually felt uncomfortable. My issue and I don't like her shit foster mum so I know I may be unreasonable.

Windward, then you'd either say that, in which case the conversation would probably end there, or you could say one of the other things, in which case the conversation would probably end there. No-one's saying that you aren't allowed to have perfectly valid reasons for keeping wrapped up, or that the reasons need to be anyone else's business. But people aren't mind readers, and it isn't that awful to make a (non-critical, non-judgmental) comment or query about your comfort. You're inferring judgement where there is none, because you're painfully aware of your reasons where the other person has thought of a hundred mundane other things.

I feel the cold, so today when it is sunny and moderately warm, I have on a jumper and, intermittently, a fleece. I know a lot of people who are self-conscious about their bodies, so I would never comment on what someone is wearing - unless you are wearing a fur coat and woolly hat in the middle of a hot spell.

Or
"Aren't you hot?"

"No, not really- I feel the cold"
"Yes, I'm roasting actually, I wish I'd worn something else"
"Yes a little bit, but I didn't have time to get changed after work, what can you do"
Yes, but I fucked my fake tan up and my legs are in a right state"
"Er, no"

Yes, but those are precisely the kinds of thing that someone self-conscious about being overweight, or having scars, will say as a way of turning aside the conversation, especially if you are a work colleague or a slight acquaintance. Few people really want to discuss their history of self-harm, their horrible, disfiguring car-crash ten years ago, or the fact that they're on an anti-depressant which is making them crave carbs and weigh three stone more than they did last year, or the fact that their thighs rub together in lots of summer clothes, with someone they meet on the school run. Surely that's not that hard to grasp?

I'm glad my friends aren't shallow enough to ask wtf I'm thinking about - surely if they are your bestest mates in the whole world, they would say 'oh hi Navy I'm boiling because I'm too stupid to dress properly for the weather i have randomly decided to wear the wrong clothes/have a rash/feel fat etc. What am I like?Lol'?

And commenting to someone in the street about them not wearing a coat when you are a stranger is cunty in the extreme

You don't sound like a walk in the park yourself woman

I don't know anyone who makes these type of comments, fortunately

Aw Livia's one of my faves!

navy, I think as you'd do the asking you're the one who needs to lighten up.

If I started to comment on people's choice of clothes it would not be confined to the summer.

I know how you feel op.

I very rarely wear any dresses/skirts. I'm always in jeans or occasionally 3/4 trousers in summer.
Reason being I have awful legs. Due to weight increase during pregnancy which was all bump at front my skin was stretched to the max. ( baby was tiny and I lost most of the weight within days) I have stretch marks going from my knees to my tummy. I also have a bad various vein. Plus split stomach muscles so anything tight on top is out as you can see the indentation on my stomach still 13 years later.

I also rarely wear vest tops due to having an operation on my breast and lymph nodes. I have a scar down the side which you can see if I wear a vest top.
I don't feel comfortable wearing a swimming costume due to the legs and scar. Plus I have a neck scar too which I can't cover.

I always have a fleece or cardigan on me in the summer as due to thyroid removal my body is either raging hot or very cold. Can start day feeling fine then I can get hot sweats and an hour later feel very cold.

YANBU OP. I have hideous varicose veins and dread summer. Constantly get asked if I am hot and why I don't have my legs out. Too embarrassed to answer truthfully so I change the subject. I would hate summer a lot less if I could just cover my legs up without constant comments. I am slim so keep getting told that I have lovely legs and should have them out. I really, really don't .