Too think people should stop commenting on people's choice of 'hot weather' clothes

[user1485342611]

I know people who are self conscious about their arms, legs, or birthmarks or whatever and are always very careful to dress in a way that hide them. Most of them dread Summer because they will be met with constant comments of 'would you. not be cooler in a t-shirt, that top must be very warm', 'I could lend you a pair of shorts. You must be sweltering in those jeans', 'Do you not think it's time to ditch the tights until Winter'?

I remember, years ago, when I was very self conscious, being at the receiving end of some of those comments myself and really hating the first days of Summer.

So AIBU to think that people should stop commenting to friends or relatives about how they choose to dress on a Summer's day? They're probably feeling self conscious enough without you sticking your oar in.

Navy I once sat sunbathing by a pool in Greece wearing linen trousers and nothing on the top (I had really bad sunburn on my legs but not ontop) I felt like a lemon and was willing someone to ask me why so I could explain my wierdness but for a whole afternoon not one person on my group or one of the many many people around that we're all chatting to us and each other including staff asked me why
So yes, it can happen

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest

Thank You! I didn't even know they existed I shall research :-)

normally every year my hands catch the sun while I'm still wearing long sleeves and rash up before I've even realised its getting warmer, so I spend every summer with itchy blotchy red hands, but I could go from winter gloves to summer sun block gloves and beat the heat lol

In my group*
Were all chatting*
Fecking phone!

NoCapes they probably didn't register it enough to ask or they were polite. Presumably you could have volunteered the reason?

Livia yes that's exactly my point; they were being polite! Because it's rude to comment on what people choose to wear, unless it's to compliment obviously

Sorry I misunderstood

I get the opposite of this.

I don't ever get cold, except when it's very very cold, so I rarely wear a coat.

I am constantly asked "aren't you cold?"

NO I'm BLOODY NOT!

Ah no need to apologise

OP, YANBU.

NavyandWhite,: "Maybe it's the sort of friends I have, thankfully we can say what we think."

Yes, I know people like you, the kind who like to say what they think (which usually involves pointing out how they would do it differently, i.e. better) instead of trusting that the person to know what's best for them and to keep your nose out.

I have to cover up in the summer because I burn very quickly and get a horrible heat rash on some parts of my body.

I buy high necked linen/cotton tops or dresses, preferably with arms that are at least beyond the elbow. Failing that I have some very fine cardigans to cover any bare skin.

I get pissed off when people comment tbh. I'm a bit bored of it now.

Navy genuine question, but if one of your friends wore jeans on a hot day and the rest of you were in shorts, would you not assume that she had a reason for keeping her legs covered? What is the point of pointing out to her that it's hot and she's the only one not wearing shorts. I presume she would already know that, so why go on about it?

Not 'terrible' people, but a bit insensitive.

Also it's not just those who dress in Winter clothes during hot weather that get these comments. Some people just can't accept that others don't feel comfortable in shorts, vest tops, sleeveless dresses etc and can't understand why they're wearing trousers, anything with sleeves, anything with a collar etc on a hot day and will start making comments.
Just let people dress how they like, and stop ruining Summer for them by adding to the self consciousness they already feel by drawing attention to the clothes they're wearing to hide any issues they have with their body.

I'm the same.

'Oh, why don't you wear a vest top? '

Because I have arms like a weight-lifter and this t-shirt makes me appear to have normal arms, that's why, fuck face.

So much easier to dress in winter! Love it.

I'm more comfortable too, just in my skin, I feel sick if it's much over 25 degrees.

I have severe scarring at the top of my right arm which I prefer to cover in summer as well as winter and there's always a smart arse telling me to wear a vest tip or some such.
No no no I like to keep my arm covered so I don't have to keep answering the inevitable questions

Yanbu in the least, OP. If someone is very covered in hot weather, it isn't because they haven't noticed it's warm. Either they are not in fact warm for some medical/metabolic reason, or they are warm, but don't want to dress in an uncovered way, or expose their arms/legs/shoulders etc. In neither case is commenting appropriate, any more than telling someone their cut-offs are too cut-off, and wouldn't they like to put on something more ahem covered?

Some people also have quite odd attitudes to summer clothes -- and comment even if you're wearing obviously cool, but quite 'covered' clothing. Someone wearing a floaty long dress which hardly touches them is probably more likely to be cool than someone in a vest top and tiny denim shorts, but some people seem to think that exposing a lot of skin is compulsory the second the sun peeps out, or you're not 'making the most of it.'

It's why hanging around with Muslim women can be very refreshing in hot weather.

I think some of you are being far too sensitive about this. If one of my friends turned up to a BBQ (to use your example) at mine on a hot day wearing a thick jumper, I'd offer to lend her a tshirt in case she'd misjudged the weather and was uncomfortable and regretting her choice. Which has happened to me in the past, and I've been very grateful for the offer. If she said she was fine and comfortable I'd drop it. It's no different to offering a jumper to someone in short sleeves if it's cold, and it would just be plain weird to get offended by that.
Sorry, but I don't think it's at all rude to look out for your friend's comfort, I think it's normal. And I might well ask whether someone wasn't hot or cold if that was the first thing that came into my head when I looked at them. Differences in core temperature are a (mildly) interesting subject for small talk, and a change from weather and work and babies. Forgive me for not always having the sparkling wit to do better than that, but it doesn't mean I'm on a mission to hone in on your insecurities.

Yes I'm very sensitive about the scarring on my arm that's why I keep it covered up.

You don't need to have a 'sparkling wit' to avoid commenting on people's choice of clothing. Why is it 'far too sensitive' of someone to feel self conscious about their weight when wearing revealing clothes, or to not want to display legs or arms they have issues with in shorts or vest tops?

Out of curiosity Navy, if one of your friends showed up at a barbecue on a hot day in heavy jeans, would you comment in front of anyone who happened to be there?