Too think people should stop commenting on people's choice of 'hot weather' clothes

[user1485342611]

I know people who are self conscious about their arms, legs, or birthmarks or whatever and are always very careful to dress in a way that hide them. Most of them dread Summer because they will be met with constant comments of 'would you. not be cooler in a t-shirt, that top must be very warm', 'I could lend you a pair of shorts. You must be sweltering in those jeans', 'Do you not think it's time to ditch the tights until Winter'?

I remember, years ago, when I was very self conscious, being at the receiving end of some of those comments myself and really hating the first days of Summer.

So AIBU to think that people should stop commenting to friends or relatives about how they choose to dress on a Summer's day? They're probably feeling self conscious enough without you sticking your oar in.

Navyandwhite why would it matter to you? I might notice but I certainly wouldn't comment, unless they mentioned it first. Adults can decide for themselves if they're too hot or not.

Somehow I always imagine the people who would comment as being the same as those who have a 'summer wardrobe' and a 'winter wardrobe'

I did offer a friend of a friend a top once when they came to a BBQ and it got real hot and the poor girl looked swealtering in her long sleeves and jeans. She declined and I thought nothing of it. Since then we've seen her loads and she always always has on long sleeves regardless, so theres obviously soemthing she doesnt like about her arms.

When I offered her the top though it was just because she was miles from her house so couldn't change and it did get really hot outside. She didn't take offence as far as I can tell as shes always been lovely to me since.

I would say something on purpose though if it is a friends small child who is wrapped up for the arctic and is getting very hot. But it would be something like 'little x looks a bit hot in that now, isn't it turning out nice! Just can't tell with the english weather can you' and hope they don't get all defensive.

Livia - I do have a summer and winter wardrobe, but I would never comment because I have manners and also because I dress for the Artic most days

Wrt summer & winter wardrobes- it makes sense to keep last years' clothes than buying new every season...

I would have been quite offended if i had been her, esp as she was a friend of a friend.

I have scarring and also cannot really get the sun anymore without it really damaging my skin and I get comments about the fact I have sleeves on my top half or don't wear strappy tops. I don't want to I would rather be too hot

I got a load of stick on the beach a few years ago for covering up because I was embarrassed of my body. Eventually I realised that they were right and I bought myself a swimming costume to wear instead. I'm so glad I did, it's much better than sitting there sweating in the heat, and they were right, no-one's looking at me and it made me feel more confident.

What I'm trying to say I suppose is, try not to take offence at people's comments. Most people are good and aren't out to deliberately hurt or upset you.

Well, somehow you people must be inviting such comments because I always cover up and for work I wear tights every day, no matter how hot it is.

No-one ever comments that I can recall and if they did I wouldn't care, I'd just say "I prefer it", none of anyone's business what I wear.

I don't like the sun on me and for work I think bare legs are unprofessional so I always wear tights. Having said that, I don't care if other people have bare legs.

I don't usually want to tell people why I choose the clothes I do, so I wouldn't assume even a good friend would say outright 'no ta, I have terrible bacne scars'

Although many many people have taken it upon themselves to inform me that I should get my acne/scarring out and get sunlight on it because that will cure it. So trying to be double helpful.

No I can honestly say I wouldn't comment. Because I would be offended if someone did the same to me. I 'find it weird and hard to believe' that people think it's okay to make comments like that

Coffee Fair enough, it worked for you. But people aren't asking out of the kindness of their hearts as presumably the average adult can say if they are the wrong temperature/want to borrow something to wear

Well, somehow you people must be inviting such comments

Yeah, you probably need a bitch resting face.

Every year if I catch the sun I come out with this goddamn awful rash, so I cover up, I like my jeans, I find them comfy so I wear jeans, I'll wear a t shirt when in the house, but to go to outside I put on a fleece and a big peaked hat .. I get comments every year, "oh dear aren't you too hot, you should show your legs" blah blah blah, yes I am warm, no I wont show my legs, have a look at the back of my hands all red covered in a rash and itching like mad, why would I want the whole of me to be like that? it generally shuts normally well minded peeps up ..

Well, a complete stranger walked past me last night and said 'Aren't you cold?!'

No, I wasn't, because I was on the homeward lap of a 1.5 hour walk with my very active dog.

(Was wearing running shorts and a thin hoodie, at about 5:30 pm, FWIW)

Navy "You wouldn't comment to a good friend that she looked hot"

Hot as in hawwwt? Yes.

Hot as in hot, no.

I have long socks under my jeans in winter. Summer, no long socks. Same jeans. I cba having a summer wardrobe, we don't get that weather and I'm in the office. I also don't wear sandals if using public transport or on grimy filthy London streets generally.

My comments usually go -

Them: 'aren't you hot? Don't you want a top with less fabric? It's cooler'

Me: 'No thanks I don't really like wearing that/I'm ok/I have acne scarring/don't want to burn'

Them 'Oh my cousins daughters friends brother had that and getting sunlight on it is the best cure don't you know'

Me:

I don't really notice what anyone is wearing tbh.

Anyone who commented on what I wore as it didn't meet their weather approval would be given short shrift.

I would probably be one to ask if people were too hot...sorry!!!
It genuinely never occurred to me before reading this thread that people might be covering up due to feeling self conscious. Will be more careful in future.

What PPs said about colour is very true - I feel the cold and generally don't like having my shoulders, upper arms uncovered unless it is truly summer weather and I always got snarky comments from family members who are the type to wear shorts in the middle of winter.

Last year I bought some bright coloured trousers and light cardigans and they didn't comment once despite it being the exact same thing I normally wear. Very strange.

I agree, it's very personal to comment on someone's appearance. I once wore leggings under a dress for work (as a TA) and the day got very hot. I left for work at 8 and it was cool, not that any of that matters but the Head Teacher who was a much older male , made a comment when I passed him that i'd be much cooler with my legs out!!! I was

Primary So it didn't occur to you that commenting on people's clothing could be seen as rude or odd?

My friends and I can say anything to each other but we would assume that someone would be capable of saying if they wanted to borrow a top or whatever