Why do schools have "chosen" children? 🙄

[SameKidsAgain]

My dc is on a school residential atm and the teachers are constantly posting updates of them on fb but only pics of the same kids who are chosen for EVERY school photo opportunity. I don't get it. I'd really like to see some other children (including mine!) enjoying themselves too...but it's always the same ones over and over again, every year and every term for every topic. It's so bloody annoying and unfair, like those handful of elite children represent the whole school year 😡. Well they don't.

In Secondary my dd got every prize..she was bright but not the best by a mile. When different teachers voted with no conversation about it she was picked by each one separately.The school hated me because l was regularly on their case about my ds who has dyspraxia. So there definitely wasnt any favouritism there. But somehow my dd was that not too precocious not too anything that she sprang to mind when they had to pick someone. Of course ds never got a prize but thats a whole other story.

Just to add I know you're not talking only about photos but in reference to your earlier post surrounding different photo ops

It can be the opposite to what we think, I remember a friend who was a teacher telling me she was accused of having a favourite. She confessed that she really disliked the child and had been overcompensating, well she confessed to me not the parents who were complaining.

Jacques that's not how it works in our school, the headteacher takes the photos for Twitter, newsletters etc.
It's not a coincidence that it's the same children for every newsletter, webpage, sports day.
Photos aren't the biggest problem though.

You do end up damned if you do and damned if you don't sadly.

Despite what a parent thinks, it just isn't always appropriate to pick certain children for certain things. Specifically sport based you pick the best - and safest - team.

In Secondary my dd got every prize..she was bright but not the best by a mile. When different teachers voted with no conversation about it she was picked by each one separately
That happens more than you think.
And often in the subject awards at secondary we end up having to negotiate who has what child because things like this happen.
And contrary to the MN conspiracy theories usually the winners of those prizes and awards are the quiet, hard working children who do everything you ask, all the time and are just a delight to teach.

Maisypops that last comment was uncalled for.
A lot of the time, those you pick are often nasty and spiteful and pushy in the playground. What can you expect though? When a teacher picks you for everything it's going to make you too big for your boots.

Give other children a chance to prove how good they are, if you can't do that then maybe working with children isn't for you.

For ds2 plg we bought a dvd with around 300 pic on, 90% were the same small group of children 10 % a few random other children.

Ds2 appeared in the back ground of 2 pics from the disco...........

That was money well spent

A lot of the time, those you pick are often nasty and spiteful and pushy in the playground. What can you expect though?

Utter bollocks. Those are the last ones we'd pick.

We pick the co-operative, easy going, non-moody kids who do as they are asked without a huge fuss. There isn't time in primary school drama stuff for divas.

"A lot of the time, those you pick are often nasty and spiteful and pushy in the playground. What can you expect though?"

Why on earth would they pick kids like that?

I think there is a lot of projection and imagining going on. Maybe time for some people to grow up!

anon1987
Really! It's uncalled for? Is it? To give awards to kids who do everything asked of them, who are hardworking, who are kind to others, who don't get negative behaviour points, who do what they should. You know the kind of kids people on this thread are saying never get recognised.
You're right. I'm so bloody mean for wanting to reward those children.

They mustn't be really nice kids. They must be awful because no nice kids ever get rewarded.

A lot of the time, those you pick are often nasty and spiteful and pushy in the playground. What can you expect though? When a teacher picks you for everything it's going to make you too big for your boots.

Thank you for telling me how things work in my school. Often it IS the children who get picked for those awards who tend to get missed through the year. They are not the loud popular ones, they aren't the ones who get lots of recognition in sport or drama. They are the unsung heroes of every year group.

Can't bloody win. Teachers spend time ensuring that quiet kids don't get overlooked. Get shouted down by someone who thinks their experience must be the norm for all schools.

Note to self. Don't reward loud kids, or quiet ones, or the confident ones because that's not nice. Don't reward the ones who might get over looked.
Give other children a chance to prove how good they are, if you can't do that then maybe working with children isn't for you.
Ummm. Isn't that JUST what I've said. It IS those kids who get the rewards in my school.

But thank you so much for your insight into how I do my job and how my school works.

A lot of the time, those you pick are often nasty and spiteful and pushy in the playground. What can you expect though?

I agree with this. Dd tells me about 2 girls who are bossy, rude, unkind in the playground, however infront of the teachers they have a personality transplant. Horrible little brats who know how to play the teachers. And they get chosen for everything and have had pictures taken on this residential too 😡. So yea, sometimes the teachers have no idea what's happening outside the classroom. It's ok, you're not mystic megs, you don't know EVERYTHING about a child.

I'm aghast that no teacher on here is willing to agree they make mistakes.

Horrible little brats who know how to play the teachers. And they get chosen for everything and have had pictures taken on this residential too

They are children, what's your excuse for spitting venom? You sound like a bitter, jealous woman. Very sad for you and your children.

spitting venom? I will call a child a little brat and more if they're sly and manipulative. These same children have threatened my ds in the past but are "butter wouldn't melt" infront of the teachers. If that makes me bitter then so be it. Jealous? No.

OP, of children are threatening your DS but staff aren't taking action then I suggest you focus your attention on that, rather than who is in the photos. Have you gone in to report the bullying?

Regarding 'chosen children' - I'm not convinced TBH. I've got 3 DC in 3 different schools and I haven't noticed much of it, through the years.

When I have, there have been reasons for it. Like a friend of mine, whose daughter is constantly on the front page of the school website. Various different pictures, but always including her. Her mother drily pointed out to me that she's the only child of that particular ethnic origin in the school... But I don't think it's just that. She's a smiley and sunny child who doesn't seem to attract dirt and always wears beautifully ironed uniform unlike my own DC

I think there's a slight something in the theory that children of parents who are very involved with the school sometimes are favoured a bit. Not always, by any means. But when my eldest was rehearsing her first school play I went in a fit of enthusiasm to her teacher to volunteer to help with any costumes. (Rookie error, okay, and I have never done it again.) The teacher smelled blood and gave me MOUNTAINS of sewing. I was on mat leave and spent hours and hours making costumes for the main characters, which meant that parents haven't had to supply them ever since. I paid for the materials too. And then the girl playing angel 1 got chicken pox and DD1 was promoted into the role...

I'm aghast that no teacher on here is willing to agree they make mistakes.
Said MULTIPLE TIMES on this thread I have no doubt favoritism goes on. But that doesn't suit the "mean nasty teachers don't look at my child" stories.

Horrible little brats who know how to play the teacher
We'll you know what, next time a teacher considers giving something to you child should they just assume that your child is a horrible nasty brat? After all you seem to think any child a teacher recognises as being nice isn't.

It's ok, you're not mystic megs, you don't know EVERYTHING about a child.
Nobody has said we do.

But so far this thread goes:

1. My child is lovely and never gets noticed
2. Other kids get noticed
3. That's either because their parents are pushy favorites
4. Or their nasty brats who plays the teacher
5. Teachers come on and say actually we get that does go on in places and actually we go out of our way to make sure forgotten kids are given rewards and recognised
6. You declare that those quiet kids we do our best to acknowledge (because as you can see from this thread people spend half their time annoyed at their kid being overlooked!) are probably nasty too!

Aka .if you reward anyone other than my child and their friends you're either pandering to the bullies or incompetent at your job.

I'd save your "aghast-ness" for when you discover your child is being taught by a succession of supply teachers who don't even know their name, let alone whether to pick them for an event, because the original teachers have all walked. Oh, wait. What "event" will that be? Because there won't fucking BE any because there'll be no one to run them.
I'd ease back on the teacher-slating if I were you.

Is this for real?

Maisypops, I'm sure you do acknowledge the quiet kids who are always unnoticed, but you're not the teacher in every school in the uk and as a teacher you must understand every school has its own politics. When the class teacher is best friends with their pupil's mother and mother is also part of the PTA along with the teacher, then it's obvious what's going to happen.
And actually, when you keep choosing the same kids over and over again for something, they do become cocky and brattish, as is evident in our school.

Instead of making this into a fight, why not just acknowledge that teachers need to be fair and make sure every child has his/her chance in the limelight?

Thanks dearoctopus, I'll ease back on it. You've scared the shit out of me.

At my dcs school there's a clique of PTA parents, many of whom are also teaching assistants and teachers at the school. We get lots of letters home saying 'join in or else no events will take place this ywar' but they're just not very nice or welcoming. Anyway, it's the dcs of these people who get to be in most photos. Occasionally one of mine will show up in a tiny pic but that's more in spite of my standing than because of it.

The kids probably keep getting picked because they have a positive outlook and don't moan about not being picked and life being soooo unfair.

Also for things like school plays teachers wants kids who will learn the lines, who will show up to rehearsals etc.

Do the kids actually mind though?

SameKidsAgain
I have said I don't doubt it goes on.
Saw it in my own school days a bit.

I have no issue with acknowledging that. What annoyed me was that I explained what my school does and it was suggested that I don't know my students well and that the kids we were rewarding were brats. Unsurpsingly, when I hear my lovely students described like that (and even the less lovely ones to be honest), I go into defensive teacher mode because u know 95% of the kids I teach just want to do well. Hearing parents suggest otherwise because their child hadn't had a photo opportunity gets my back up.

Once again more assumptions made about unchosen children.

My child could easily learn lines if she was given the opportunity 🙄

It's actually quite boring seeing the same main cast over and over each year.

"When the class teacher is best friends with their pupil's mother and mother is also part of the PTA along with the teacher, then it's obvious what's going to happen. "
Yes it is obvious. That child is not going to be picked because nobody wants to be accused of favouritism..........