Why do schools have "chosen" children? 🙄

[SameKidsAgain]

My dc is on a school residential atm and the teachers are constantly posting updates of them on fb but only pics of the same kids who are chosen for EVERY school photo opportunity. I don't get it. I'd really like to see some other children (including mine!) enjoying themselves too...but it's always the same ones over and over again, every year and every term for every topic. It's so bloody annoying and unfair, like those handful of elite children represent the whole school year 😡. Well they don't.

same at ds1 school its liam every single time very confident full of himself child whose mother just happens to be a teaching assistant...

I was probably one of the chosen ones at school, but it wasn't because I had pushy parents, just that I was well-spoken and got good marks. I was also really shy, so there was extra effort to pull me out of my shell - it worked, since I never shut up! Each child should get the option to be in the spotlight at some point in their school career - it can be such a confidence boost!

I was just glad not to get a snippy "come collect him" phone call when ds went on residential.

DS was in every photo at school. It happened at primary (state) and moving forward. He was the "effing" face of his school at age 16 and posted on publicity and a bus.

Nothing to do with us at all. Even his family eyerolled. However he was tapped up by a model agency more than once. We and he declined. Having said that I declined the ES because he was the first Xmas Day baby in London. Perhaps it just stuck.

DD doesn't smile as much.

That's nice dinosaurs. These kids are indeed well spoken but not any more than my child or any other child. They are certainly not shy and don't need any kind of coaxing out of their shell. Infact one of the girls is a proper little madam from what I know. The fact their parents are high flyers in their careers and their roles in the pta seem to make them the first choice in all school website and local newspaper photos. Yes, it would be nice if they let some other children get their chance in the limelight, but these children have been shunted forward for every photo/play opportunity since year reception. They're used to being chosen for everything now I guess.

I'm probably one of those parents getting slated because my child gets picked for everything, it's certainly nothing to do with me, I avoid school at all costs unless necessary.

Make a comment on the FB photos saying it would be nice to see how the 'rest of the children' are enjoying the residential as it seems only xx number of kids are on this trip!
I am a teacher and I like to think that I am fair when it comes to 'choosing children' to be representatives of the school or for photo shoots. When it comes to performances, it can make it tricky to be 'fair'. Being fair isn't about treating everyone the same; but giving everyone the opportunities they NEED to succeed, excel and shine. We all know that many PP children need more intervention at school to allow them to achieve and access the curriculum the same as their 'more affluent' peers - but that's another story.

However, I am also a parent with a FS2 child in a large village primary school. I like where I live but when DS started school, it opened my eyes to how much favouritism strikes the children according to 'who your parents are'.
In my DS's school, the majority of the parents were born and bred in the village, all grew up together, went to the same school (the village primary), married each other and bred! It is noticeable in the school as many of the teachers have been there since the dinosaurs reigned and remember the kids they taught and now teach 'their' kids! The children who are chosen to eat on a special table at the end of the week are the same ones - parents who are actively engaged in the PPA, parents who volunteer in school, parents whose older kids have been through and therefore have had a 'link' with the school for 20 years (exaggeration - but not if you include the parent's own education). Even the children who win the school competitions and are chosen for the sports team! It is ridiculous and then some parents whinge and complain when their little 'Tarquin' isn't chosen, or has been 'made' to take part in a class production and even complained when he/she has been told off because 'they don't want to put the pens away'

I tend to drop off my child and pick him up (on my days off) without engaging much in the playground. The gossip, the politics is too much to bear for the 10 minutes that I am there for! One lady I know was BULLIED by parents over FB because she happened to make a comment about how something was arranged and all merry hell broke loose! And those same parents were also close friends of members of staff (believe me when I say it is the school business manager and secretaries who run the school!), PPA members, school volunteers and the same ones who park right up onto the grass verge outside of school 20 minutes before school starts/finishes to ensure their 'Tarquin' doesn't have to walk far and of course ex-students! I was ready to move DS before he even started due to the clique-iness, politics and 'pecking order' of the playground mums.

I keep my head down now. We don't do play dates either because of the gossip of 'whose house is better' tales!

Totally digressed with all that!

I swear there's one of these threads every term.

At my secondary school (admittedly before I was a pupil there) in 1978 and 1979, the same priggish oik was cast in the lead role in the summer musical production. First, Smike then Dracula Spectacular the following year. Somebody must have been desperate or paid off. Awful little shit he was.

Head of Governors annoying child at our school. Always .
When I was at school it was the same pushy family.

On trips if I'm on photo duty I always try to get a range.. I want all parents to see a photo of their child. We tweet photos and would avoid it being the same kids.

This definitely happens and with other stuff too. My ds is the most musically gifted child in the school - furthest ahead in his grades, fantastic marks in all of them. Any music event which is judged by someone outside the school he wins. He has never won a music prize awarded by the school itself. It always goes to one of the chosen even though none of them are anywhere near him in terms of progress or talent.
I sincerely hope it's not because he has asd but sadly I suspect it may be.

PTA Mum here...can assure you my DS is rare,y photographed/chosen to be in school play main parts.
My sister is a teaching assistant...her kids were rarely "chosen ones" either.

I get a bit fed up with the assumption that the popular chosen kids must be those whose parents happen to work in the school or who give up time to volunteer for the PTA.

There will be multiple reasons and not just down to whose child a pupil is.

Have a grip folks.

Same at our school. Really annoys me. Same families, same kids, all the time. Even when it comes to sports and that child isn't good at sports and is in fact one of the worse and it involves representating and competing against other schools, a particular child will always be chosen. Really winds me up. DS has certainly noticed that his teacher this year has her favourites. They are all girls.

Perspective from an ex-FE tutor here:

There was definitely some pressure to present the college in a certain light in situations like this. The subject I taught for most of my time was male-heavy and white-dominated, but you wouldn't think that from the pics on the college website. There was also the practical consideration of who could be trusted to not flash their genitalia/bum/rude writing on their hand.

I take a lot of photographs for school and I can assure you I try to include as many children as possible. When posting them on social media and the school website, I obviously exclude the ones who don't have parental permission - but the rest I post, often as a collage, trying to include as many as possible. I don't, however, force any child to have their photograph taken, so if I have a child who doesn't like it I won't push the issue.

Today I have taken over 300 photographs across school (270 children in school) for various purposes. No favourites - just inclusive. By including everyone it fully represents our school :0

When I photograph the Y2 school play in July I will be taking photographs of every single child involved (all 90 of them) at least once, and bar the 3 who cannot be published online, the rest will go up there.

Oh and I've volunteered in school and been on the PTA. It's not always the case that our children get preferential treatment. I think with our school it's definitely if your face fits.

I do have some children who are more keen than others to have their photograph taken though and they are often found posing as soon as I get the lens out.

It was the same when I was at school and that was before email, never mind social media.

Photos, awards, mentions etc always the same set of kids. I'm still bitter about not being recognised for the exact same achievement that one of the chosen ones achieved at the same time as me. The school knew we'd both achieved this and chose to give an award to the other kid and say 'maybe next time' to me instead of having us share the award. Other kid got a whole article in the newsletter about them and I got nothing.

I get a bit fed up with the assumption that the popular chosen kids must be those whose parents happen to work in the school or who give up time to volunteer for the PTA.

What? So the boy/girl who gets the main part in the play just happens to be the teacher's child? The boy/girl chosen to represent the school in every news story or on the website just happens to be the child whose parents help the school or are governors?

It's not an assumption. It's real. Even on WBD, it's the same fricking kids doing everything. And when my dc or other children are chosen for something or wins (rarely) they're NEVER photographed or mentioned in newsletters like the "chosen" children. It's all favouritism.

My dd2 is one of those kids

Picked for everything, always narrator or Mary, all the twitter photos, she's chosen to sing the school song in multi school competitions.

I don't know why. She is pretty and confident and clever. And always the teachers favourite

My dd1 notices she is pretty but not photogenic, clever but not in a test environment and slightly shy/ eccentric. It's hard to be both happy for dd2, understanding / encouraging to dd1 and not resentful of it all

My son is in the school where I teach and the polar opposite happens, he never gets picked for anything...concerts, awards, assemblies, certificates, he is in fact still waiting for his first certificate in assembly which every child gets at least twice a year and his class is on the second round! Whereas the pta and governors children are the chosen ones!

I help at school. I have 3 kids at school, all reasonable looking and nicely turned out. But then have never been given starring roles and are not regularly chosen for special things. Any prizes won have been on merit. By your reckoning we should be getting a lot more attention!

At our school, it's the secretary who takes the photos for websites, newsletters etc. I'ts amazing how many times her nieces and nephews feature in them

My DC has one boy in his class that's always picked for the 'big parts' in any plays/shows, however, each time it's a different teacher doing it, it's not the same teachers picking the same child, but different teachers looking at the same group of kids and coming to the same conclusion, that the one who's Mum has paid out for lots of drama classes confident speaking in a group will be the best to carry the main part.

I do wonder if they are told "X and Y had the main roles in the play last Christmas" so they know they are picking the same kids every time, but perhaps they have no idea.