To be annoyed with this mother regarding coke at a kids party

[franciemczoo]

We were at an 8 year old's party at the weekend at a local burger joint.

We allow our DD to have coke occasionally- I don't outright ban anything because I believe the minute you make something "banned" you're making something seem more attractive.

Before the party we were looking at the menu and it said any soft drink was included. So DD asked whether she could have a Coke as part of her meal deal and I said yes.

So we get to the venue and the waitress was very efficiently taking the orders from the children (parents were sitting on a separate table)

I saw one of the mums talking to the waitress and thought nothing of it. Said mum then came up to the parents - including the birthday girls parents who were picking up the tab and announced "I don't let (DD) have Coke and I don't think it's fair for all the other children to have Coke and not my DD so I've told the waitress to tell the children they can't have Coke when she takes their order"

We were all but were all too polite to say anything!

So what would you have done in this situation? Was the mum in question right to do this?

Well, that's another poor child who isn't going to be invited to many parties then, isn't it? Poor thing.

I'm a fucking vegan eco warrior which means that my DD has a better than average grasp of not being allowed stuff everyone else is having. I certainly wouldn't take her to a McD's birthday party and then insist everyone has the McSaddo (veggie burger with no sauce is vegan)

It wasn't McDonalds. It was a bit more upmarket than that. (A bit!)

Now a line of coke and perhaps her intervention would have be warranted

Honestly I think nobody laughing at her and telling her she won't be deciding for other peoples kids is even worse. She's a pain in the arse because cowards indulge her, she needed to be put in her place. Why should the birthday girl in particular lose out on what may possibly be a rare treat?

I really don't understand this over politeness. It's one thing not to want to hurt someone's feelings so on some occasions I get it but to let an obnoxious, self obsessed, entitled individual get away with that at the expense of the kids? Why? It's absurd.

Sometimes I'd really love to meet some of these rude people just so I could see the look on their face when they hear "NO", I don't know any. Nobody where I live would put up with them.

I think ye are all batshit to have accepted someone else dictating to ye like this.
That said I would be very cross with the waitress for not checking with the person paying the bill especially as the kids then went and ordered off the set menu.
I also reckon you would have a fair idea at the time that a fruit smoothie was going to be over and above the typical 'happy meal' cost.

Banning your kids from having something altogether backfires.

I was never allowed sweets at all as a child.

I was allowed chocolate at Christmas and Easter.

Now I am an adult I eat as many sweets as I like because I can, it drives my mother insane but as I went without them for 14 years, I am going to always enjoy them when I want now.

I would have just gone and bought a coke. No big fuss. Anyways, you don't normally allow her to have it...

I thought this was going to be about grownup party coke as well. Disappointed.

Hopefully, she'll look back one day and realise she behaves like a knob. In the meantime, I'd let it go.

There's only one thing more frustrating and annoying than people who do what the party mum did, and that's all the people who were too spineless to say anything at the time, preferring to bitch about it afterwards.

I would have said something at the time, along the lines of, "well I've said mine can have coke, so she's having coke". Problem solved.

I'd have told her to focus on her own parenting. And get a grip.

Excellent idea mimsy

How rude and very freak like! If it was my child's party, I would be saying, 'sorry, that's not fair on the other children when they are allowed it.'

Btw, not wanting your kids to have coke doesn't mean you are raising princesses

It does mean you're raising kids to have food issues though. OP is right that banning certain foods is damaging.

How does one get to be a 'fucking vegan eco warrior' because that sounds badass.

Not by going to a burger joint. Don't think the poster thought that one through...

That's crazy!

My dd has food allergies. I wouldn't dream of saying nobody could have what she couldn't have! It's unfortunate, but my dd understands at 4yo that not everyone can have the same thing and she's very good about it. (Very proud of her for this!)

The bday mum is not setting a good example to her child imo.

Wow, it's rare to see such flagrantly controlling behaviour, isn't it? It's so odd that nobody said anything to her.

What did you say to your child? "No, you're not having it now, because some random told me not to give it to you"

Entitled much. I would have told the waitress my order still stands, unless the birthday parents agreed with this rule in which case I'd suck it up.

How dare she decide what other people's children may or may not do.

Nightmare - but why didn't someone take great pleasure in overruling her?

Not by going to a burger joint. Don't think the poster thought that one through...

I suspect her post was a little tongue in cheek...

I don't believe half of these replies at all though along the lines of telling the other mum to fuck right off, how dare she dictate, to question her on the ins and outs of coke ingredients. Bollocks would most people do that as it would likely create a scene at a kids party. Easy to type, in most cases not so easy to carry out.

I was going to make a thread on this just now because I couldn't believe some of the hyperbolic replies! (Although I did find them funny ) but someone who would tell someone to fuck off or cause an argument at a kids party in front of a bunch of kids over Coke would definitely BU in that scenario.

A bit uptight, but if she was paying, you just have to bite it.

Then made a big joke of it on the drive home.

I'm not sure banning coke is raising children to have food issues - or even particularly OTT - I see it as a bit like coffee or alcohol - just one of a small list of foods my kids don't have. But totally agree that it's batshit to say "my dd isn't allowed that so no one will". I sometimes feel a bit bad if my kids are having an ice cream or something and another parent is trying to stick to telling their child they can't, but then if you want to stick to particular rules you have to be prepared to go against the grain.

Birthday mum needs to grow a backbone. I wouldn't have paid for the difference between the (included) soft drink and the fancy fruit drink because some weird rando gave instructions to the waitress. My party, my money, I'm in charge and I need to clear any changes to the party package.