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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with this mother regarding coke at a kids party

176 replies

franciemczoo · 09/05/2017 17:09

We were at an 8 year old's party at the weekend at a local burger joint.

We allow our DD to have coke occasionally- I don't outright ban anything because I believe the minute you make something "banned" you're making something seem more attractive.

Before the party we were looking at the menu and it said any soft drink was included. So DD asked whether she could have a Coke as part of her meal deal and I said yes.

So we get to the venue and the waitress was very efficiently taking the orders from the children (parents were sitting on a separate table)

I saw one of the mums talking to the waitress and thought nothing of it. Said mum then came up to the parents - including the birthday girls parents who were picking up the tab and announced "I don't let (DD) have Coke and I don't think it's fair for all the other children to have Coke and not my DD so I've told the waitress to tell the children they can't have Coke when she takes their order"

We were all Shock but were all too polite to say anything!

So what would you have done in this situation? Was the mum in question right to do this?

OP posts:
early30smum · 09/05/2017 18:29

Oooh a coke thread! I started one ages ago about AIBU to think Diet Coke is a weird choice to offer as the only drink at an 8 year old's birthday party. Responses varied!

I think it's totally fair enough if you are the host and are paying for the food and drink to say what does and doesn't go- we are having my 8 yr old's party soon and there will be a drink included- I am going to say no to coke/lemonade but that's my choice because it's my child's party.

YANBU to think it's not ok for someone else to decide everyone's children can't have coke!

Your party-you decide
Someone else's party-not your business to tell anyone else what they can/can't drink.

In my post it was a bit different as Diet Coke was the only choice available. My DD did eventually ask for water and got some though.

Crunchymum · 09/05/2017 18:29

So what did all the kids have instead of Coke?

expatinscotland · 09/05/2017 18:31

'We were all shock but were all too polite to say anything!

So what would you have done in this situation? Was the mum in question right to do this?'

How silly of you all! Too polite? Too muggins, more like. 'You don't get to dictate what my child has to eat or drink. She'll be having a Coke.'

Trb17 · 09/05/2017 18:33

I'd have gone and bought a round of cokes and put them on the table for the kids.

That mum is raising a princess clearly.

MyHairIsMyHair · 09/05/2017 18:36

She was incredibly rude to the parents hosting the party and the birthday child who was probably looking forward to her coke.

strugglinghuman · 09/05/2017 18:37

She banned something for the birthday girl because she felt like it? Parents of birthday girl didn't say piss off?

...this story doesn't make sense.

PoorYorick · 09/05/2017 18:38

I think you are being unreasonable, because you had a perfect opportunity to say or do something at the time and you didn't.

user1493022461 · 09/05/2017 18:41

I have zero sympathy for people who come on here complaining about someone else being unreasonable, when they not only allowed but facilitated that unreasonableness.

gamerchick · 09/05/2017 18:45

Is she violent? Is that why you all sat back and let this person dictate shit to you, where you all scared of her? Confused

MimsyFluff · 09/05/2017 18:46

I think I would of literally laughed if I was told what my child couldn't have but I'm antisocial. Don't forget to invite the child to your DC coca-Cola themed party Grin

SecretNetter · 09/05/2017 18:48

The mum was obviously not in the right. If it had been the birthday girls parents who were paying, I'd still think it was weird and uptight but wouldn't say anything.

But another random parent is just incredibly rude. I think I would have politely just said sorry, I've already told mine they can have coke...I can't imagine saying nothing. My dc rarely get anything fizzy but know that at parties they're allowed so would have been disappointed.

I don't believe half of these replies at all though along the lines of telling the other mum to fuck right off, how dare she dictate, to question her on the ins and outs of coke ingredients. Bollocks would most people do that as it would likely create a scene at a kids party. Easy to type, in most cases not so easy to carry out.

Original poster
franciemczoo · 09/05/2017 18:49

The reason why I didn't say anything was because by the time "Entitled" Mum made her announcement, the waitress was already bringing the drinks out. Apparently my DD had accepted that she couldn't have Coke and looked at the menu and ordered a fancy fruit cocktail type drink and when others got wind of it, they all ordered one as well. I thought as long as my DD was happy, there was no point making a scene.

I checked with Birthday girl's mum and she said it was fine. (But Birthday Girl's mum is very quiet and lacking in confidence so would never have said anything).

But what's really pissed me off is that I was chatting to Birthday girls mum today and the fancy fruit cocktails weren't part of the meal deal so she's had to shell out more than she should have. I offered to contribute because I felt my DD was responsible for choosing the fruit cocktail and encouraging the others. But she wouldn't hear of it.

But I'm mainly Angryat the Entitled Mum for creating an issue where there wasn't one. I feel like telling her she's the one who should pay Birthday Girls mum!!

OP posts:
SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 09/05/2017 18:52

I would not be impressed. Coke is allowed when we're out as the majority of the time the DCs drink water at home/ school. Sometimes they'll ask for water anyway. As long as the dentist is happy, and they're slim and healthy I have no issue with an occasional drink when out, and it's totally unreasonable to override another parent's wishes like that.

Original poster
franciemczoo · 09/05/2017 18:52

Did anyone think this thread was going to be about a mum taking coke at a kids party?

Grin I have just re- read the title and I can see why you thought that!! Apologies for making you think the subject matter was much more juicy than it was!

OP posts:
Bettyspants · 09/05/2017 18:54

**not some fucking vegan eco-warrior who thinks banning coke makes her the superior parent.

I seem to have missed the connection between crazy parent = 'fucking vegan eco-warrior ' . Charming.

Bettyspants · 09/05/2017 18:54

Another one here that can't believe you all took it!

GreenGinger2 · 09/05/2017 18:57

Bet the fruit cocktail had a fair bit of sugar in it anyway.

My kids would have been more than a little peeved.Only time they're allowed coke is birthdays,parties and Christmas.

CheeseQueen · 09/05/2017 19:01

This surely can't be true?! Other mum is barking mad.
I don't like my kids having coke/fizzy drinks when they're young either, but that's my choice.
I wouldn't dream of telling others what they could and couldn't give their kids just because mine might not be having one!
Why did you let her get away with it? That's how these crackpots get away with crap like that.

DreamilyLookingOutOfTheWindow · 09/05/2017 19:02

I wouldn't get upset or overly involved in this OP - I wouldn't be telling the other mother that she needs to pay anything it is not going to go well

Goingtobeawesome · 09/05/2017 19:04

The drinks were poured so they were wasted too? Bet McDonald's love entitled mum as well.

Btw, not wanting your kids to have coke doesn't mean you are raising princesses Hmm.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 09/05/2017 19:06

That is nuts, and so rude. Her child needs to grasp the concept of different strokes for different folks. We all have them. I'd let my children have the odd coffee but cut way back on soft drinks at that age. Other parents didn't mind their children having soft drinks but wouldn't allow the coffee. None of us would have dreamed of imposing our rules on other people's children, or ordered stuff that the other parents disapproved of for their children.

I am sorry that the fruit cocktail debacle ended up costing the hosts more. The waitress should have checked with them first before letting the children have it.

I bet the cocktail had more sugar and additives in it than the coke too.

sonlypuppyfat · 09/05/2017 19:06

I had a friend who wouldn't allow her children coke sweets chocolate or to dunk biscuits. They are now older and smoke fags weed and eat shit. I don't believe in banning stuff

OhTheRoses · 09/05/2017 19:07

She was rude. Mine only got coke at Christmas and took pleasure in saying v superiourly "mummy only lets us have coke at Christmas and on our birthdays". Never a problem.

DS has occasionally told me he is v sensible and only has coke occasionally at parties and it's a mug's game but he is 22. Funnily enough the dc's chums who have developed issues with such things are the ones who were either too firmly or too loosely parented. But in both scenarios by parents who I always thought were a bit "difficult".

TheMysteriousJackelope · 09/05/2017 19:07

How does one get to be a 'fucking vegan eco warrior' because that sounds badass.

I know the first rule of vegan club is everyone talks about vegan club but that is as far as it goes.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 09/05/2017 19:20

Her entitled behaviour will do her kids more damage than the occasional glass of coke IMHO.

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