To think that children should west school uniform for their First Holy Communion

[MyheartbelongstoG]

Instead of parents having to fork out a small fortune for one day.

If it was really about the sacrament of God there is no need for all the frills and unnecessary expense.

I think the dress is part of the day. I would of hated to wear my uniform as a child making my fhc!
My dd is only 4 and talks about the dress already!
It doesn't have to be expensive and you have years to put a little bit by every now and then.

Nobody has to fork out a small fortune, people choose to. Up to them.

Mine had a Monsoon dress off eBay. No need to spend a fortune. Look in sales end summer of year before for bridesmaids dresses, m and s Debenhams etc all go 70% off. The girls had very nice party or bridesmaid dresses but not over the top. The priest suggested uniform for confirmation.

I must admit I agree with you. When I was that age, all I'd be bothered about would be wearing my lovely dress and the party afterwards. Not the fact I was reviving Jesus's body, blood, soul and divinity for the first time. One priest in my diocese provided white albs to wear to try and rein it in. Apparently his face fell as one girl took hers off to reveal a huge dress underneath!

Luke, exactly! Kids are only interested in the dress, boys not bothered about what they wear so much.

Have you been talking to your daughter about the sacrament of God when she gets excited about the dress?

I don't live in UK and I've been to many communions and I've yet to see a Monsoon style dress or bridesmaid dress. Of course I haven't been to every communion though!

Its not just the dress, its the head gear, getting hair done, bag, shoes, socks, tights then something for the rest of the family. It all adds up doesn't it.

There's no need for it to be a big expensive dress! It certainly wasn't when I was a child - although we all wore white, several of the girls had dresses which were every day summer type dresses. I think it's all the veils, gloves, shoes, bags etc that transform it into something it doesn't need to be. But I don't think it's unreasonable to have a special dress for what should be to the child and her family, a special occasion.

'When I was that age, all I'd be bothered about would be wearing my lovely dress and the party afterwards. Not the fact I was reviving Jesus's body, blood, soul and divinity for the first time.'

That's because you were 7 or 8. No small child is going to in any way comprehend all the Jesus divinity stuff! It makes not one iota of difference what they wear. They don't understand what they're signing up to.

OP I think things are different here. It's reasonably basic dresses/suits. No-one gets their hair done or has head gear or any of the rest of it. Not at any communion I've been to anyway.

If you don't want to spend a fortune then don't. It's not obligatory

When I was child boys wore school uniform and girls wore the white dress, in my case the dress had done for my cousins in Ireland then my two older sisters and finally me! There's no way my parents had money for a new one.

We just bought a brides maid dress for my DD. White pumps from Tesco, nothing in her hair, no bag, gloves, no getting her hair done. Just really simple. And I think most of the kids have a basic understanding of what the sacrament means if they have been to the preparation classes. At the end of the day they are still quite young so can only grasp it on a basic level anyway. YABU the outfits don't have to be pricey or OTT.

Nuffsaid- I made my communion in the UK and it was a big deal for all the kids.

I hate the gloves on kids, looks awful.

School uniform would be perfect or a robe even worn over a nice outfit.

I bought my daugher a second hand dress from Ebay for £20 - it was in mint condition, having only been worn once. She looked beautiful and loved her dress. We bought her a missal, laid on a lunch for the immediate family/godparents (who all bought her something small - a crucifix, bible, etc). It was a very inexpensive day really. (However there is a large population from SE Asia at church and they go ALL out with their celebrations - each to their own!).

'I made my communion in the UK and it was a big deal for all the kids'

Presumably that was quite a long time ago?

I'm not commenting for the whole of the UK btw, just the ones I've been to. No hair, no head gear, no super expensive dresses. All quite low-key.

Shoes, tights, headband also eBay. I did her hair. No bag. Not many had anything in hair.
Are you in Ireland op? The 2 girls with Irish mums had normal dresses but from chatting to their mums I understand things are different in Ireland.

Well. We don't (or didn't, goodness knows what they've been up to whilst I've been on leave) have First Communion in the CofE but we did have 'Anniversary' of the local church's founding - and we all got to dress up in our white dresses and veils. It was fun. And we did it every year.

OP, I'm sorry FC seems to be part of your child's school life and is costing you money. Don't they have a set of put-aside dresses, donated ones? I know some churches do.

The polish girls at a nearby church had the big 'gypsy wedding' dresses it must vary a lot acorrding to traditions and heritage.
We had a small party at home, sandwiches and a cake decorated by mil.

I'm with you op. Was at DS communion on Saturday. Class was mixed in with the local girls school. Took one look at the OTT dresses, veils, gloves, capes () etc. And decided DD might not make her communion. Is all way too "dressing up like a child bride" for me.

Did have a small smile for the girl in the white jeggings and crop top tho

When I had my communion I wore a simple white bridesmaid style dress (not much flounce or sequins) which was subsequently died so I could have it as a party dress, white sandals that I then had for that summer, and a white ribbon in my hair. Most girls had similar and boys had a shirt and chino type trousers. A couple of the girls had the full mini-bride palava but it certainly wasn't expected nor the norm, and tbh they looked a little ridiculous and OTT.

If "kids are only interested in the dress" why are they even taking communion? Children that age can't possible understand what it is about.

Sorry, missing the point. I just believe faith is something people should decide for themselves. Fine to take children to church, but taking of communion, if you believe in it, should be a choice someone makes because THEY believe, not because their parents tell them to.

Could apply to any occasion too: wedding - go in your ordinary clothes in your lunch break with a couple of witnesses, no fancy clothes, guests, reception etc. Funerals- plain box in a van to the cemetery/crematorium, no hearse and cortège, black clad mourners or funeral 'tea'. Baptism at the end of the ordinary service- no posh baby gowns, guests or celebration afterwards.
It is what it is. A celebration of a child's milestone in a religious faith, when they are too young to have any real understanding of what it means.
Question the age it occurs, not the frilly frock and lacy gloves.

www.marksandspencer.com/petal-hem-dress-5-14-years-/p/p22491189?image=SD_04_T77_3209X_Z0_X_EC_90&color=WHITE&prevPage=plp

This sort of thing was the style at our church. So not extortionate and they usually go in the sale.

At our church (South East England) most of the families go totally overboard. Mini wedding dresses (some with trains), huge tiaras, nails done, hair done, even fake tans. Boys have fancy suits. Some arrive by limousine and then there are ridiculously large parties and gift lists! I used to be a catechist and honestly 90% of the children hadn't been to church since their baptism and never came near or by the church again after their "party". The church gets filled with people who have no idea of how to behave and it's awful.

I did buy DD a white dress (not a long "weddingy" one, just knee length simple white with a white cardigan) and, so as she wasn't too left out, I got her a cheap headdress with a pearl cross on it. Her dress was £19.99 (just over 10 years ago), the tiara was a tenner and I got her a pair of white sandals that she wore all summer. No party, no "guests" and just a present from us of a missal.

DD wore his school uniform but he did have new shoes, new shirt and new tie to make him look extra smart. Again, no party etc.

For DH and I the sacraments are religious occasions.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Monsoon-bridesmaids-party-dress-age-8-/182553359133?hash=item2a8107331d:g:gqsAAOSwtGlZBH9v

There's no need to the claptrap of communion at all! Load of nonsense!

I think ebay may be your friend. These dresses are only worn once. There will be lots of people selling them on.
Btw I think the whole mini bride thing is out but a nice white summer dress or smart shirt and trousers looks lovely.