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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that children should west school uniform for their First Holy Communion

140 replies

MyheartbelongstoG · 08/05/2017 13:55

Instead of parents having to fork out a small fortune for one day.

If it was really about the sacrament of God there is no need for all the frills and unnecessary expense.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ErnesttheBavarian · 08/05/2017 18:42

it doesn't have to cost a lot though. I got my ds's dress from TKMaxx for 16 pounds, her white shoes cost the same, and a pair of tights for 2 quid. That's it. And she'll treasure the dress forever.

I just remembered I got her a hair band from asda and borrowed tongs off a friend to curl her hair.

She felt so excited to get dressed up. Some churches have all the kids in a cassock for example. I think that's also a good Idea, but the dress is special. It was much easier with my son's (no hair to curl for a start), but I remember my First Holy Communion, and yes, communing with God is THE important thing, part of the tradition and ceremony is the dress and the specialness of it too.

My whole purchase came to about 40 quid, and she'll be able to wear it all again (hopes to get invited to several weddings )

Sleepdeprivedredhead · 08/05/2017 18:54

If you chose a faith school and chose to be catholic/ your children to be raised catholic I guess it's just cultural and expected. Surely there's a market for second hand if it's just for a few hours.

Babywearinggeek · 08/05/2017 19:19

@sleepdeprivedredhead I'm fairly sure my mum gave my dress away to another family in church whose daughter made her FHC a year or two after me! There would definitely be a market for second hand + I don't think we were the only family who passed outfits on to friends so the expense didn't have to factor in to it. After all, they were still absolutely pristine after about 2-3 hours use!!!!

Babywearinggeek · 08/05/2017 19:21

@miaowthecat I know what you mean, but I looked forward to my FHC for a big part of my childhood + to our family it had immense significance to dress like that. It's only creepy if you don't understand the tradition behind it or it doesn't hold significance for you/your family.

Original poster
MyheartbelongstoG · 08/05/2017 21:09

I understand the tradition and I find it a little creepy, but for little girls its a day to dress up and feel like a princess.

OP posts:
Purplefrogshoes · 08/05/2017 21:23

I bought my Dd a dress, shoes and made her a flower crown. There will be no party, beauty parlour. Dd has gone to church every week since she was 3. Her dress will then be cleaned and given to the school to give if needed

weatherbomb · 08/05/2017 21:40

I got my daughter's dress in the sale at m&s, hair was in a bun, her veil from eBay & shoes from h&m. the biggest problem was getting ivory tights Lol!! Gathering for family afterwards. Not expensive at all (for a change Grin)

Allthewaves · 08/05/2017 22:00

The amount of money in presents is obscene. Everyone expects kids to be given a £10 each, fiends boy came out with over £300

Allthewaves · 08/05/2017 22:01

i find the ones with mini brides dresses and veil creepy tbh

ForalltheSaints · 08/05/2017 22:05

School uniform if all the children are at a Catholic school seems reasonable, but I suspect there may be some who are not. Agree with the OP that it should not be something costing a fortune, as it is not about dressing up, but about receiving the sacrament for the first of what is hoped to be many times (in the thousands if my sums are correct).

What is ironic about this is that many of the parents, relatives and friends of the children or their family bring out dresses or suits that are years old and often a size or two too small.

courtwood · 08/05/2017 22:13

all the waves the going rate in Ireland seems to be fifty euros
my ds got his communion at the weekend and only one of his cards had less and that was thirty euro.

Cheerfullygo4 · 08/05/2017 22:13

The sacrament of communion is not about school. Its to do with the Church and receiving the sacrament. Instead of uniform perhaps encourage more smart casual rather than the big white dress/suit/kilt combo which is hard not to buy into due to peer pressure. It's something the parents would need to embrace as the big white bride is Christ tradition is hard to break.

weatherbomb · 08/05/2017 22:29

Our old priest did make the move away from the all white & veils and suggested that the children wear something smart but something they could wear to another event. He died suddenly and we now have this new priest who seems to be a throwback to the 1950's - hes only just turned 50 himself ffs!!! Hmm

TheElephantofSurprise · 08/05/2017 22:50

fiends boy came out with over £300
everyone was scared of the parents, no doubt.

weeder · 08/05/2017 22:53

I had the works: white lace dress, veil, white kidskin shoes and my mother even painted the kirby grips white. I am now a fundamentalist atheist.

TriJo · 08/05/2017 23:30

Irish in the UK here. It's a total charade back home, such a waste of money.

Bigger scandal though how much of 2nd and 6th class is wasted on doing sacramental preparation during school hours.

MuseumGardens · 09/05/2017 10:52

What does the white dress/veil signify?

reallyanotherone · 09/05/2017 11:44

The white is the usual- it's a ceremony to cleanse of original sin, purity of soul etc.

When I did mine many years ago there was no veil palaver, just the dress. I had a bloody border shift dress, how i envied my friends their full length satin. My mum thought she was "with it" though and wanted to go fashionable.

Personally I think it's probably more appropriate at FHC ceremony than it is at weddings these days ;). I didn't wear white at my wedding as it's a bit hypocritical. As an 8 year old though, it's not.

MuseumGardens · 09/05/2017 13:02

Thanks

BuzzKillington · 09/05/2017 13:16

The mini Big Fat Gypsy bride look is very much frowned upon by our priest and catechist. Nonetheless, there is usually one poor girl all gussied up with elaborate hair, make up, veil, gloves and blinged out dress. I always think it looks slightly grotesque on a small child.

It easier for the boys - they have to wear black trousers, a white shirt and a tie bought from the church. Last year, one of the girls wore the boy's outfit which caused much consternation, but I liked her brio.

peukpokicuzo · 09/05/2017 13:22

I had my first communion in about 1987. In the UK. Preparation classes with a group of about 20 boys and girls. On the day, the boys were all in smart shirt &tie, most of the girls including me were wearing new smart clothes of the "Sunday best"/suitable-for-visiting-grandma category in a variety of colours. One girl turned up in basically a wedding dress. Until that moment I hadn't even known that wearing a white dress for first communion was even a thing.

Radishal · 09/05/2017 13:26

"Last year, one of the girls wore the boy's outfit which caused much consternation, but I liked her brio."
That girl is wonderful.

NeoTrad · 09/05/2017 13:32

TBH I find the parties that are now commonplace around religious rituals are just an awful excuse to show off and indulge in celebrity culture. But I think priests, rabbis etc are wary of condemning people for their vulgar, trashy behaviour for fear that they will stop the rituals altogether.

user1493022461 · 09/05/2017 13:48

One girl turned up in basically a wedding dress. Until that moment I hadn't even known that wearing a white dress for first communion was even a thing

White dresses and veils have always been the standard for Catholic 1st communion. Mine was like that in the 1970's, my mothers was in the 1950's, my granny in the 1930's, and so on. It is not new. Neither are celebrations around them. They are the tradition.

Radishal · 09/05/2017 14:13

I had a nasty veil thing in the 70s. It was a short net curtain type thing. I looked AWESOME.
One of the girls had a beautiful cream lace gown handed down from her Italian ancestors.
Other than being curious about what the wafer would taste like, God wasn't really part of it for me. That's really nothing to be proud of