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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that children should west school uniform for their First Holy Communion

140 replies

MyheartbelongstoG · 08/05/2017 13:55

Instead of parents having to fork out a small fortune for one day.

If it was really about the sacrament of God there is no need for all the frills and unnecessary expense.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
DoctorDonnaNoble · 08/05/2017 14:49

It's been getting worse over the years. The boys at are church look lovely. The girls look like they're trying to out do each other to be a Disney princess. It was just starting when I did mine MANY years ago. I was one of the few girls without a veil. 8 years later my little sister was the only girl without a veil. And as a previous poster said you don't see some of these families week in week out.

Dixiechickonhols · 08/05/2017 14:50

BuggerOff Wow. It must vary a lot. Nothing like that, no tiaras or fake nails or limousines.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 08/05/2017 14:51

This would be the sort of thing worn at my church.

To think that children should west school uniform for their First Holy Communion
allegretto · 08/05/2017 14:51

At my son's first communion there was a real range of clothes - some girls in white dresses and veils, others in jeans, some in scout uniforms. It didn't really matter.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/05/2017 14:55

We are Methodists so take communion at any age we want to without all this rigamarole.

Kwoggers · 08/05/2017 14:55

I'd let them wear whatever they wanted as an apology for putting them through a communion as well as the harm before and after.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 08/05/2017 14:59

No I haven't went into detail about communion she's only 4.
She understands it's something religious as she goes to mass and has been to christenings and communions.
We are in Ireland and it's a big deal over here though many are opting out these days.
TBH when I made mine, it was all about the dress and the party afterwards. I went to mass every week as a child though.
And who doesn't love dressing up and having a party anyway?!

CricketRuntAndRashers · 08/05/2017 15:00

I mean... There was no communion in the church we went to when I was little.

There was a similar event when we were 16. And whilst white wasn't mandatory... yes, we did all wear something "nice" (a conservative dress or a suit).

If the communion is something you see as "special" and important? It would be weird (Imo) if your DC wore a school uniform.

wigglesrock · 08/05/2017 15:03

I agree with you - I've had two daughters make theirs in the past few years - although we've swapped and reworn dresses from cousins etc. I think two dresses have done about five in our extended family. Our priest mooted the school uniform idea with the support of the school and it was completely shot down by parents.

HildaOg · 08/05/2017 15:04

Yabu, the whole fun of the day is that it's a huge celebration, that involves dressing up and feeling special. School uniforms are horrible anyway, they have no place in religious celebration. How dreary.

Bloodybridget · 08/05/2017 15:05

At my primary school (fairly poor inner-city in early 60s) there was a big trunk of secondhand white dresses available to borrow for girls who didn't have one, so it didn't have to cost anything. Lots of children did borrow and I used to rather envy them being able to rummage through and choose something!

It's a shame if parents feel pressured to spend loads of money, but I think wearing special clothes makes it more memorable for the children.

reallyanotherone · 08/05/2017 15:06

Some bishops have separated school from church.

My dc went to catholic school, but communion was arranged through church, nothing to do with school at all.

Apparently its to ensure the family and parents are involved, as some were leaving their childs catholic education to school and barely setting foot in church.

So in my case school uniform would not be appropriate.

BartholinsSister · 08/05/2017 15:09

What would Jesus have worn?

user1491326393 · 08/05/2017 15:13

The mini bride thing creeps me out
I can't articulate why but it's almost like dressing them up to present them in a certain way, like "daddy's princess" in a little wedding dress

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/05/2017 15:15

Well he was at dinner with his mates Bart, so smart casual I would imagine Wink

Chocolateisa7adayfood · 08/05/2017 15:15

I had my first holy communion over 40 years ago and I longed for a big pouffy dress! Instead I had to wear a tennis skirt and a white t-shirt. I felt so under-dressed compared to everyone else Envy.
Buying your DD a nice dress will show her that you take the occasion seriously too. If it was a wedding wouldn't you dress up?
It doesn't have to cost £££. A nice white dress from a cheap high street shop would be fine. It doesn't have to be a mini bridal gown like the one in the picture!

HildaOg · 08/05/2017 15:17

User; you're seriously projecting there... It's a pretty white dress. I still remember admiring myself on the day of my HC, it's fun for kids to dress up but not a requirement if they don't want to.

user1491326393 · 08/05/2017 15:21

Hilda - oh I know, my dd wore a white dress for hers, from Monsoon and she looked lovely and age appropriate. I've just heard so much of the "she looks like she's getting married, oh can't believe in a few years we really Will be giving her away, oh DH is not coping look at him bet he is polishing his shotgun for the first boy who comes along LOL" crap usually from mums who have put their kids in acrylic nails and a limo and an actual mini wedding dress!

haveacupoftea · 08/05/2017 15:26

School uniform? What has school got to do with it Confused

LaurieMarlow · 08/05/2017 15:30

The white dress is the least of it. Though I agree it's a bizarre custom if you step back from it.

Putting such young children through what is (if you believe in it) a complex and serious sacrament is the more worrying thing. They haven't a clue what's going on. Thus it ends up being all about the dress, the party, the bouncy castle, the money.

It's a farce.

We're in Ireland, but DS won't be going to a catholic school, so we'll be spared this particular circus.

Original poster
MyheartbelongstoG · 08/05/2017 15:41

Yes I'm in Ireland and its big business here. No way would a child wear a plain dress from the high street for twenty quid and if they did they'd be in the minority.

School has everything to do with communion here as its organised through school.

My daughter had her communion yesterday and that's my last thank God.

My children are 8, 9 and 10 so I've had one each year for the last three.

My point is that if communion was really about religion then why not do it in school during the day with just parents present and no fuss.

UK seems to be far more sensible than Ireland!

OP posts:
TrollMummy · 08/05/2017 15:44

I'm guessing you are in Ireland OP? My experience is that holy communion is far more OTT there than in the U.K. I know there's pressure to have very expensive dresses, hairstyles and a big party. There's also pressure on the parents and family of the child to have new clothes and to get very dressed up on the day. It is just like a wedding! This is not my experience in the UK, dresses were a mix of mostly high street names and eBay and there's certainly no trips to the hairdressers or nail bar. People do their own thing after but usually there's no elaborate party with hundreds of people and bouncy castles and chocolate fountains.

x2boys · 08/05/2017 15:48

my son made his last yr he wore a suit from amazon and the obligatory red tie i made mine in 1981and i wore something similar to the picture BuggerOff posted it was all about the dress and party

Original poster
MyheartbelongstoG · 08/05/2017 15:58

Trollmummy, yep I'm in Ireland and its definitely Ott here in comparison to UK.
It really is just like a mini wedding! And there's something creepy about little girls in white dresses.

My daughter had a dress, headgear, no veil as they are just weird and a bag. No tan, nails or any of that nonsense as she's only 8.

There was a boy there yesterday that was picked up by a hummer limo and he had a walking stick that looked like it was made out of gold!

Last year there was a traveller making her communion with my eldest daughter and she could barely make it down the aisle her dress was so big.

OP posts:
UncontrolledImmigrant · 08/05/2017 16:03

Out of curiosity, how do posters dress their children when they attend actual weddings, and if they do dress up, do they have a deep and meaningful understanding of what marriage entails?

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