To have 'humiliated' my MIL

[ImALurkerNotAFighter]

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

OhForFoxSake
Christ Bland I cannot believe I've just read that
So you think that women should get smaller portions in restaurants? And that this should be disguised as "large" (aka these are for men) and "medium" (aka these are for women) portions? Did I just read that right?

No you didn't 'read it right' at all. All I was saying was that it would be great if restaurants offered different sized portions.

This reminds me of my wedding.
The morning of our wedding Soon-to-be-DH and I had breakfast together, he was so nervous he couldn't eat anything so I ate his for him, because I'm good like that

And before the food police / 1950's throwbacks start, no neither of us are overweight, no he didn't mind, no he didn't collapse during the day due to lack of mansize calories and no he hasn't left me for being a greedy woman who won't be treated like a secondclass citizen by her Mil.

OP I hope you can talk to your MIL and explain that her portions to you are too small. If she wants you to visit then she needs to provide for you.

Half a piece of bacon? do you mean half a rasher of bacon? If so that is not a portion for an adult, it is a child's portion, or maybe a garnish!

(I've not read the whole thread so the half peoce may have been explained.)

Ok then, let's look at this.

You've repeatedly implied that op shouldn't be complaining because she was given an adequate portion of breakfast.

You have also repeatedly implied that the op was unreasonable to have done what she did because there was no more food available for her.

You repeatedly ignore the fact that the op did not find the portion size sufficient. Also that, had food been shared equally, there would have been plenty for everyone.

Just because a small portion is enough for you - actually, that's irrelevant, no matter how many times you say it. What mil did was shit - surely you must see that?

Oh who cares, it's one meal. My IL's eat much smaller portions than me and when I'm at theirs I just deal with it, you aren't going to starve, and it's clearly just their strange tradition if both MIL and SIL were given the same.
IF, however, she makes jibes about your weight then I'd definitely put her in her place, and in fact your DH should have something to say too.

shouts above infighting**
*
So, OP......

How was lunch?

Ah, got it Bland - completely agree with the portion size options, but the "they bloody should" comment after quoting a poster mentioning men's vs women's portion sizes threw me

I wouldn't leave.
But neither would I go back.

Giles is this reminding you of the one when the mil tried to starve the guests and people were arguing that sneaking food in the bathroom and midnight trips to Mcdonalds were far politer than actually asking for more?

So a lot of the MiLs are in their 60s and 70s or older and do the mean portion thing

I'm in my 60s and if I plate up I do it according to wants.

My DM and much older sister also plated up and the only reason the men may have got more was in accord with their appetites. The women still got as much as they wanted.

If you read my posts you would see clearly that I have said to the OP more than once that she needs to speak up to her MIL about her being hungry and wanting more food.

She did!

It got her nowhere.

I'm not saying you're sticking up for mil, but the insistence that op's portion was sufficient is bordering on fat shaming

bacon garnish!

Yy chipped

And I don't believe for a second people happily lunch their body weights in pretzels and m&ms they stashed in their bags at midnight in the attic because they don't possess the ability to say "oooh yummy can I have a little more please" from people they have probably seen naked, heard fart have sex, seen their underwear on the washing line or bought personal items shopping for them.. .

Bollocks

One of my grandmothers had major issues with food and would serve teeny tiny portions to everyone, eg one chicken wing and two tiny tinned potatoes each, with salad. Anyone - including DC - asking for more would lead to a comment about your weight or risk of putting on weight. We would often go to the chip shop before visiting her!

One sausage ffs

One fucking sausage.
One
Sausage
One
Hmmm

I would kill anyone who cut my rasher into half!

ohfourfoxache. No worries :-)

I'm really surprised at rhe posters doing exactly the same as the mother in law and defending it and saying it's a "normal" or "adequate" portion. It wasn't for the op. End of. Everyone's portion sizes are different. the fact it's a normal or adequate size portion for someone else is totally and utterly irrelevant, you're not getting invited round for brekkie and you weren't the one served it so what you personally eat or consider normal or adequate is irrelevant.

It's not an adequate or normal sized portion for others posting and I personally would never have guests and give them one sausage and half a rasher of bacon, whilst piling other guests plates high. Especially if my decision on who got the adequate/normal parsimonious versus who got the all you can eat buffet version was based on their gender and whether I personally thought they were too fat to eat more or not.

I don't understand people who decide what others should eat.

In my world, people ask what the others want and make too much food to make sure everyone has enough to eat.

YWNBU to take it off your DH's plate. Even better would have been from your MIL's plate. :)

She was an arse to give you whatever portion without asking you how much you wanted and even more for commenting on how much you should eat.

I'd probably have raided her fridge and made myself a decent breakfast. :)

How did lunch go? Or did you leave?

Many people - myself included - do hide what we eat from partners/family and friends. Eg people with binge eating problems.