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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have 'humiliated' my MIL

999 replies

ImALurkerNotAFighter · 07/05/2017 11:22

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' Angry This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

OP posts:
AgitatedGuava · 07/05/2017 19:21

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CookieLady · 07/05/2017 19:22

To be honest the only thing that would have pissed me off is being denied baked beans. Grin

Gwenhwyfar · 07/05/2017 19:23

"When you go to a restaurant, they don't serve up different portion sizes for men and women, do they? "

The portions in restaurants these days (except fine dining I think) are too large and is one of the reasons why so many of us are overweight imo.

Rooster44 · 07/05/2017 19:25

My DH has just asked me what I'm so engrossed in reading. I told him it was a thread about penis portions. He looked perplexed so I asked him to guess what a penis portion was.....
"One??" he said
Grin

MrsHathaway · 07/05/2017 19:26

Our local pub does lovely food but I found the nutrition information published online and even starters and salads were 700+ calories. DH's main course was more than my daily calorie allowance ...

NavyandWhite · 07/05/2017 19:27

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ohfourfoxache · 07/05/2017 19:28

No- you've repeatedly said how perfectly adequate op's breakfast portion was.

Which completely ignores the point of the thread.

Bluntness100 · 07/05/2017 19:29

Half a piece of bacon, an egg, a sausage, toast. Seems enough regardless of what those with a penis had

But that's the point, it wasn't enough for the op. You are doing exactly what the. Monster in law did, deciding if it was enough food for the op, a woman you've never even met who has clearly stated on that day and at that time it wasn't enough for her. It is irrelevant if it's enough for you personally. It really is. You were not the guest who was being served 30 % of what the men were getting.

flippinada · 07/05/2017 19:30

Good lord. Just what is it with MN and threads about food and manners? They're just barmy.

C0untDucku1a · 07/05/2017 19:32

Who The hell cuts a slice of bacon in half?!?!

BlandWallpaper · 07/05/2017 19:32

"When you go to a restaurant, they don't serve up different portion sizes for men and women, do they? "

No but they flipping should do! Not described as 'men's' and 'womens' but as maybe large and medium. I hate big portions in restaurants and often split a main or just order a starter plus chips

EmpressoftheMundane · 07/05/2017 19:34

I think you have the calorie count wrong ragged. OP specified a small sausage while the men had large sausages. A chipolata is about 75 calories, a slice of bread is more like 79, an egg is around the same, but there is bound to be some fat to fry it so your 100 seems fair for the egg. A bacon medallion is 63.

So just above 300 calories, even if we let the OP have a pat of butter for her bread!

grannytomine · 07/05/2017 19:35

I'm not sure what half a piece of bacon means. Is is half what you get in prepacked bacon or is it a proper slice which is like back bacon at one end and streaky at the other? That is what I thought, taking the proper rasher and cutting it to the length you get in a packet.

I don't know if that makes sense but I can''t think how else to describe it.

I would have wanted the beans but would have happily given the egg to someone else if they didn't have enough. Hate fried egg.

ohfourfoxache · 07/05/2017 19:35

Christ Bland I cannot believe I've just read that.

So you think that women should get smaller portions in restaurants? And that this should be disguised as "large" (aka these are for men) and "medium" (aka these are for women) portions? Did I just read that right?

grannytomine · 07/05/2017 19:36

Sorry if I missed the bacon explanation, I seem to have jumped some pages. Second time it has happened today, suddenly about ten pages appeared.

rookiemere · 07/05/2017 19:37

some restaurants/pubs have smaller portions available, generally those that attract pensioners, I quite enjoy having that option available as sometimes I don't want a huge meal.

If however DH got handed a MANLY MENU and I got a wee women's version, I'd go nuts. This is about choice and good manners.

OP did you actually say anything to MIL about the BF meal incident? Today may have seemed rather bizarre and OTT to SIL and BIL, but in the context of not feeding you when BF then it makes a lot more sense.

paxillin · 07/05/2017 19:37

The "good" stuff, which is limited, should get split evenly. This includes in this case sausages, bacon and black pudding. If anyone is particularly hungry, they can fill up on beans and toast. Who sits there happily gorging on three large sausages and two bacon slices if their partner was given 1 small sausage and 1/2 a slice of bacon? I'd be mortified if that was me.

grannytomine · 07/05/2017 19:41

I realise I give my husband much larger portions than I have but I think this is because I eat more between meals. He tends to have a slice of toast for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch with maybe some salad and a slice of cake and then double what I have for dinner. I on the otherhand will be having bits of fruit, biscuits or chocolate several times in the day. I just couldn't eat as much as he does for dinner.

grannytomine · 07/05/2017 19:42

I'd have preferred two slices of toast covered in beans but then I like baked beans.

NavyandWhite · 07/05/2017 19:42

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rookiemere · 07/05/2017 19:45

Grannytomine - I think it's fine and totally normal to give your DH bigger portions as you know that's what he eats, and probably needs to eat. I should probably stop serving DH and I equal size portions Blush - I just don't need them, but can't seem to give myself a smaller meal.

I hate beans.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/05/2017 19:45

Well if there was only half a piece of bacon left for op once the boys had their plates piled high she had not ensured there was enough food for her guests.

WHICH IS RUDE

AgitatedGuava · 07/05/2017 19:45

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ohfourfoxache · 07/05/2017 19:47

Er, is that "last word" comment directed at me Navy? Hmm

NavyandWhite · 07/05/2017 19:47

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