To have 'humiliated' my MIL

[ImALurkerNotAFighter]

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

I can't believe that there's another man who could enjoy a meal when his wife has been served a measly fraction of his. (I say another because your h is not the first who's done it on MN) 😱 My kids (even teen ds who can be very self-centered) would be offering me food and asking why females were served less.

I bet your SIL wanted to high five you when you took some food off your h's plate. 😂

I'd have asked if she wanted my ration book and a coupon. Go for lunch a declare you're starving because you had such a small breakfast.

Worrying, isn't it Zombie

*So a lot of the MiLs are in their 60s and 70s or older and do the mean portion thing yet all of you younger DIL think this is wrong.

How is it not generational?*

None of my parents/inlaws/grandparents have ever done this. If anything they give us too much, or ask how much we want.

It's absolutely not a generational thing; it's a rude, sexist thing.

Practise that steely stare, OP, and get your DH to back you up instead of withering in the face of possible confrontation.

I would not stay after that, nothing could make me, not even the promise of super size portions from there on in.

Hmm. Just all the MILs on MN then.

Well not mine so.... no

But I doubt anyone feels the need to post about their mil serving perfectly adequate portions.

Not all the MILS on MN. A small number of MILs on MN. We don't hear about most of the MILs on MN because most of them are perfectly reasonable.

Re rationing - it came to an end in the early 1950s. Nobody born since then has any experience of it. Very few people born after 1945 would even remember it. My parents were children during the war and are in their mid 80s now. So this meanness about portion sizes will have sod all to do with rationing.

Navy Hmm. Just all the MILs on MN then
I'd say, judging by most of the responses, no. Just the MiLs in your head.

MIL was probably trying to help make dieting easier for you.

Definitely NOT a generational thing.

My grandma (would have been in her 90's) and my mum (60's) would be absolutely astounded at this behaviour.

In fact, my grandma had many choice words to say about mil and her penis portions (and latterly portions when dh nipped penis portions in the bud).

Even mil's own mother has expressed her shock at her miserliness, so to say it's a mil issue isn't accurate either.

Your husband doesn't need to be used to it though to understand that the portions that his mum gives you are not enough for you.

Anyway, how did lunch go

And here's another GF. Of course she wasn't. She was at best unthinking. This is what she has done all her life and in spite of earlier contretemps about this she has persisted with trying to force her DIL to live life her way.

If she genuinely believed her DIL needed to lose weight for health reasons, there are far better and more effective ways to make that point., which don't involve being sexist and mean-spirited at the same time.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous OC

How is it not generational?

Giving men more than women is not generational, it's individual. Neither of my grandmothers did this.

However I would say I think that portioning out food in general to your guests is generational as in it was something people did during rationing etc and is used as a way to control consumption and subsequently costs. To make sure there is enough going round you need to portion it out, with s polite amount on the side for seconds.

Mostly these days though where no such constraints exist and people understand much more about diet variances it's more common to put serving platters and bowls out and let guests decide how much they wish to eat. It's also a much more relaxed fun way to have a dinner party than everyone getting a portion controlled meal. However clearly it's more expensive as you have to over cater to allow people choice. If you portion control you remove that choice and thus can manage a much lower cost for the meal.

And reading your post OC I can understand why so many people probably call you a bitch behind your back.
This isn't about portion size its about being treated differently because of your sex.

Do you walk around with your eyes shut ohfourfoxachie?

*ache

Next time you go bring lots of food with you, stand and open all the packs and make sure she cooks it all.

What sort of a bloody question is that?

Are you honestly and truly saying that mil's treatment of op was fair? That she deserves less food because she has a fanjo? Because that is the crux of the matter.