Found out someone I'm due to 'work' with tomorrow has a rape conviction

[UrsulaPandress]

I am scheduled to help out at an event tomorrow and I found out today that one of the organisers was jailed for rape a few years ago.

I am so not sure how to react. I don't know him well, but he has pissed me off on the odd occasion I have met him so I was not looking forward to spending the day with him, but this revelation has left me reeling.

I am not aware that I have ever met a bona fide offender before so I am searching my soul to see if I believe that someone should be presumed to have served their sentence and allowed to get on with their life. Or should I spit in his coffee every opportunity I get?

Or just act professionally and do the job you're paid for?

I think it's a really difficult situation.

I believe that people serve their time however I do not believe that prison changes ones nature and so for certain convictions, like rape, where my profile matched that of their Victims i.e female, I would not feel comfortable.

Can you get out of it?

I agree with smh. Just act as you would have done before.

Have as little to do with him as possible.
I had to attend an event once with someone who had a similar conviction. Rationally, I believe in rehabilitation but when faced with him, I had a visceral physical reaction. I couldn't shake his hand or speak to him. You have my sympathy

I wouldn't be doing it, no way. How the hell did he get a job? Scum!

I put 'work' in inverted commas as it is unpaid helping out at a club.

So I can be as unprofessional as I like.

Yes I can get out of it but not sure if I'm over reacting.

It's not even work? Hell no, don't bother!

Are you going to have to be alone with him at any point? I wouldn't be comfortable but if it's part of a larger group of peoole you could just keep your distance

Ursula I think it's all well and good people saying ' act professionally' etc.

But would you ever have to be alone with him? If not I may go - if yes, not a cjancenin hell.

Do you mind me asking what kind of club?

• chance in

Ignore him and avoid being alone with him. That's all you can do really.

If you were already uncomfortable with him before you knew (you said he had pissed you off so I might be reading that in), I would act on that and cancel.

I won't be alone with him. It's out doors and will be busy. I'm just not sure I'll be able to be civil to him.

Agreed. You should make an excuse and stay home this shift.

One word answers and no eye contact. If he pushes for more just walk away. It wouldn't be bad not to go though if you are not happy. It's understandable.

I wouldn't interact with him unless I absolutely had to. Do you have to be alone with him? If you didn't go would another person have to be alone with him? I think my decision would be based on the exact circumstances.

I worked with a man who had a rape conviction. Blamed it on his low IQ/SN, he didn't understand that her reluctance and telling him to stop was her not consenting apparently.

He was a perfectly intelligent bloke. I spat in his tea once

Do you need a reference from this work? If you don't and if it's not a volunteer thing that you really want to do, I'd not to do it and tell whoever why.

I would not knowingly associate with a rapist. They're worse than pond scum.

I would not attend the event and would tell the organiser (or whomever I reported to) why.

I think we need to know what sort of event. I do a lot of voluntary work and paid work in the voluntary sector (sometimes managing volunteers). There are certain places where a convicted rapist would not be or should not be accepted as a volunteer.

I certainly couldn't be polite to him.

Rape isn't 'a mistake,' or a moment of madness - it signifies a deep misogyny which I just couldn't ignore.

The reality is that everytime we step outside the front door, go shopping, go to a pub, go to work, get the bus...we meet people who have a criminal history - detected and sentences by the courts or not. You do not know the circumstances of the conviction and your colleague is entitled to be regarded as having served his sentence. Obviously personal safety comes into this as others have pointed out, but your relationship with him is purely professional. Through work most people have to deal with clients/ customers/ colleagues that they are at odds with at some level, or find challenging. However, it is a test of your professionalism (salaried or not) to show that you can deal with people who have values and backgrounds very different from your own. If you think about social workers, legal advisors, doctors, probation officers...they all encounter people in their job routinely who would make us all cringe with horror about...but they do the job anyway.

A few years ago. Well the dirty disgusting predator, didn't get long did he. How did that sick swine get a job so quickly.

I wouldn't be working with him.
I could. I'd throw up.
What about peoples safety at this event. I hope to God there are not any children going to be there.

I couldn't