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Found out someone I'm due to 'work' with tomorrow has a rape conviction

248 replies

UrsulaPandress · 06/05/2017 22:47

I am scheduled to help out at an event tomorrow and I found out today that one of the organisers was jailed for rape a few years ago.

I am so not sure how to react. I don't know him well, but he has pissed me off on the odd occasion I have met him so I was not looking forward to spending the day with him, but this revelation has left me reeling.

I am not aware that I have ever met a bona fide offender before so I am searching my soul to see if I believe that someone should be presumed to have served their sentence and allowed to get on with their life. Or should I spit in his coffee every opportunity I get?

OP posts:
SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:37

Object to being forced to work alongside a convicted rapist would be a start. I would. I would feel hugely uncomfortable if a rapist was in a place I was having to work. What would you think if you had a daughter who was forced to work alongside a rapist?

She can object, by choosing not to go to the event? Hmm

You haven't given a valid alternative to that. Object to working alongside him by doing what?

And my DD may well "be forced" to work alongside a rapist (not that the OP is being forced to do anything), because, you know, she may go into any number of fields job-wise which will make that a part of her job.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:37

Rape culture doesn't exist, yet on a board 99% used by women most posters are saying it's "vigilante justice" to not want to work alongside a rapist.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:38

You haven't given a valid alternative to that. Object to working alongside him by doing what?

Asking why this rapist is being allowed to work at this event for a start?

GreatFuckability · 07/05/2017 00:39

no one is being forced to do anything. If the OP doesn't want to work with him, she doesn't have to.
You can't stop a company choosing to hire someone who has a criminal record for anything. What would the alternative be? There isn't room in prisons to keep everyone convicted of violent crime behind bars forever, so they have to be released at some point. If they can't work, then the alternative is benefits? is that any better?
Your passion is admirable nolove but its naive. The real world doesn't work like that.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:39

As for you being happy for your daughter in future to work alongside rapists, incredible. Can you not see how rape is the ultimate expression of misogyny, power over women? See this from a convicted rapist: www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11720655/Sex-offender-Why-I-became-one-and-started-raping-women.html

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:39

"I did it for power over women, I would look for any woman or girl in any place"

RebelRogue · 07/05/2017 00:41

Now,now @NoLoveofMine what he did was a mistake. Wink

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:42

Oh, of course...

RestlessTraveller · 07/05/2017 00:42

So are we banning rapists from ever working again then?

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:43

Yes.

lifesjoys · 07/05/2017 00:43

Fuck that!

He's a rapist regardless as to whether he "served his sentence".

Does a murderer become a normal citizen who deserves a second chance once he's served his sentence?? No so neither does a rapist.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:43

Rapists should never get out until they can prove beyond any doubt they will never offend again. They fucking ruin lives.

RestlessTraveller · 07/05/2017 00:44

Ok, so we pay their benefits for the rest of their lives then?

SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:44

Asking why this rapist is being allowed to work at this event for a start?

The OP can go ahead, but be prepared for the answer that he's served his time and that there's no legal basis for excluding him from the event. Because that's the fact of the situation. It wouldn't be wrong for the organiser to give her that response.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:44

No, they don't leave prison until they satisfy every psychologist going.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:45

Er, yes it would. Even being convicted of theft would forbid you from working some jobs.

RestlessTraveller · 07/05/2017 00:45

So do we do that for every crime, murderers etc?

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:45

We do it for murderers...

GreatFuckability · 07/05/2017 00:45

So, how do I ensure my children never meet a rapist? genuine question? because I didn't work with the man who raped me. I lived with him. Didn't stop it happening. Would I be happy with my children working with someone who was dangerous? No. But the simple fact is, there is NOTHING I can do to stop the possibility.
As I said, you are naive, and twisting peoples words to fit your own narrative.

RestlessTraveller · 07/05/2017 00:46

NoLoveofMine some jobs, not all jobs.

stitchglitched · 07/05/2017 00:46

'Without all the facts the OP can't make an informed opinion on this man.'

Really? OP's opinion is based on the fact thst he is a convicted rapist. What facts could change that?

SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:46

As for you being happy for your daughter in future to work alongside rapists, incredible. Can you not see how rape is the ultimate expression of misogyny, power over women?

I started out in Law thinking that I would become a prosecutor. I then changed to defence. My DDs may well end up doing the same, or they may end up in corrections, or they may end up doing any number of careers that involve working alongside convicted criminals.

The rest of your spiel is utterly irrelevant.

I'm afraid you're going to be out of your depth studying criminal law, because there is no place in it (on either side) for idealism.

Again, go into politics if you're unhappy with the current system.

RestlessTraveller · 07/05/2017 00:47

No we don't, we do it for some murders. Others serve their time and are free to go,

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:51

So, how do I ensure my children never meet a rapist?

You can't, but you can reduce it.

Please don't say I'm "fitting a narrative". I just disagree with you. I'm very sorry for what you went through and admire how you've dealt with it but don't assume all others who've gone through it feel the same.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:52

No we don't, we do it for some murders. Others serve their time and are free to go,

Absolutely not true. No murderer leaves after their minimum term. Most serve way beyond the minimum life sentence and all have to satisfy numerous parole board hearings they're safe for release.