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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Found out someone I'm due to 'work' with tomorrow has a rape conviction

248 replies

UrsulaPandress · 06/05/2017 22:47

I am scheduled to help out at an event tomorrow and I found out today that one of the organisers was jailed for rape a few years ago.

I am so not sure how to react. I don't know him well, but he has pissed me off on the odd occasion I have met him so I was not looking forward to spending the day with him, but this revelation has left me reeling.

I am not aware that I have ever met a bona fide offender before so I am searching my soul to see if I believe that someone should be presumed to have served their sentence and allowed to get on with their life. Or should I spit in his coffee every opportunity I get?

OP posts:

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:06

For once I may sound vaguely liberal, but there may be a reason the vast majority of the -non- -crazy- population agree with wiping records after the offence has expired.

Hold on, you think once a rapist is released, his record should be wiped??

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:07

And I resent the implication that people are 'vile' and 'i hope you don't have daughters' is a decent way to speak to people who have different opinions.

Different opinions about rapists being dangerous offenders.

Goldfishjane · 07/05/2017 00:08

Awlook "Unless theyre inhumanely castrated and spending their lives in prison, and not this 15 years nonsense. I mean until the day they die. A rapist will never do their time"

Exactly. Also hardly any get 15 years.

GreatFuckability · 07/05/2017 00:10

Where did I say that rapists weren't dangerous, Nolove?
Nowhere. Because that isn't what i said, or even remotely close to what I said.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:10

Rapists mostly get a year to 5 years if they even get sentenced. Derry McCann committed his second stranger rape, which involved many aggravating factors, yet he only got a minimum sentence of 9 years.

RebelRogue · 07/05/2017 00:14

Fucks sake. Poor poor menz. They should have their convictions erased,it was after all a mistake,and we should all be professional and understanding and look at the bigger picture.

janesmom · 07/05/2017 00:16

NoLoveOfMine - Not a view, just a statement of law. Non-disclosure for non enchancement vetting is usuallly six years after end of imprisonment.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:17

janesmom I don't think you understand the law for rape and sexual crime.

SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:20

No rapist should be walking the streets or anywhere near a woman.

Then how about getting involved in politics in order to get sentencing reform through? That's the reality of it. Shitting over people who say that he's served his sentence, so it's not your role to impose further "justice" is ridiculous.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 07/05/2017 00:22

Rebel again you choose to take and see what you want. I can't be arsed anymore, there's no point.

OP find out for yourself, don't listen to gossip, take care and have a good day

Goldfishjane · 07/05/2017 00:22

Jane "NoLoveOfMine - Not a view, just a statement of law. Non-disclosure for non enchancement vetting is usuallly six years after end of imprisonment."

.?? Seriously?

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:22

Well I'm 17. Bit difficult to do much else really? I want to go into law and become a prosecution barrister and one day a judge, so maybe I will. Who knows.

DeleteOrDecay · 07/05/2017 00:24

*No you don't "accidentally" rape someone - but rape charges are not black and white, same goes for a lot of charges.

I'm all for rapists being charged, far too many aren't, but personally I'd want to know the facts.*

He wasn't charged, he was convicted. There is a difference.

Given how notoriously difficult rape convictions are to get I think it's safe to assume that this man is in fact a rapist. Can't get much more black and white than that.

Op I think if I were in your shoes I would have to cancel. I just couldn't be in the company of someone who I know is a rapist.

SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:24

Well I'm 17. Bit difficult to do much else really? I want to go into law and become a prosecution barrister and one day a judge, so maybe I will. Who knows.

Politics is where sentencing reforms happens, not courts. Prosecutors don't impose a sentence, and judges can only impose a sentence within the guidelines given. It's statutory law, not common law.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:25

Politics is where sentencing reforms happens, not courts. Prosecutors don't impose a sentence, and judges can only impose a sentence within the guidelines given. It's statutory law, not common law.

I know, my dad's a QC. I'm still stunned how many on here are defending a rapist.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:26

The vast majority of rapists never get arrested, never mind interrogated, never mind charged, never mind convicted.

Gabilan · 07/05/2017 00:28

yet he only got a minimum sentence of 9 years

He will be eligible for parole after 9 years but may never get parole at all.

SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:28

I know, my dad's a QC. I'm still stunned how many on here are defending a rapist.

They're not. They're saying that there's no place for vigilante justice in this society. If the OP can't put it aside for her work, then she should pull out of the event. That's rational. It's not defending a rapist.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:29

Gabilan nope. He'll almost certainly get out. His last sentence was exactly the same and he got out as soon as the minimum was reached despite the original judge saying he'd do the same again, which he did. He will get out.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:30

If the OP can't put it aside for her work, then she should pull out of the event.

So, once again, women should be inconvenienced. For being uncomfortable around a convicted rapist, she should be inconvenienced. Incredible.

SuperBeagle · 07/05/2017 00:32

So, once again, women should be inconvenienced. For being uncomfortable around a convicted rapist, she should be inconvenienced. Incredible.

What do you suggest she should do then? Lynch the man? Shout from the rooftops his conviction? Gripe on the internet about it? I'm genuinely curious what you think it the better alternative.

GreatFuckability · 07/05/2017 00:34

absolutely no one is defending a rapist. they are simply saying that without ALL the facts the OP can't make an informed opinion on this man.But if she chooses not to work with him, that's ok. what isn't OK is going into work and causing some kind of scene. It's just causing a drama where there doesn't need to be one.

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:35

My ideal option would be the second.

Object to being forced to work alongside a convicted rapist would be a start. I would. I would feel hugely uncomfortable if a rapist was in a place I was having to work. What would you think if you had a daughter who was forced to work alongside a rapist?

NoLoveofMine · 07/05/2017 00:36

I am horrified by the idea women should have to change their lives, turn down work or just quietly accept working alongside a rapist.

stitchglitched · 07/05/2017 00:36

I think the definition of vigilante justice is being stretched a bit if it now includes not wanting to make small talk with a convicted rapist at a voluntary event.

I wouldn't want to be near him either, OP. I would cancel and tell the organisers why.

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