Found out someone I'm due to 'work' with tomorrow has a rape conviction

[UrsulaPandress]

I am scheduled to help out at an event tomorrow and I found out today that one of the organisers was jailed for rape a few years ago.

I am so not sure how to react. I don't know him well, but he has pissed me off on the odd occasion I have met him so I was not looking forward to spending the day with him, but this revelation has left me reeling.

I am not aware that I have ever met a bona fide offender before so I am searching my soul to see if I believe that someone should be presumed to have served their sentence and allowed to get on with their life. Or should I spit in his coffee every opportunity I get?

No, I'd guess it's serious sexual assault.

OMG. I feel physically sick. .

I don't know the specifics of sentencing but understand he served time for raping his wife with a bottle.

Then he's a sadistic rapist, and possibly a charming sociopath. I wonder if he's see n a psychiatrist, and if anyone decided he's no longer a threat.
Or did he just serve X years with Y time off for good behaviour.

They want to burn sadistic cunts like him at the steak. The dirty beast

If you know his name then google. If he was convicted then case will be in public domain. I would not work with this man.

Good grief what is wrong with some people??

Even though you are a volunteer it is a workplace and you have treat people civilly.. If you cannot do that don't go.

UrsulaPandress

Have you checked this out fully? It will be a public record.

Sheesh. I don't often put rtft, but the event has past. It was on Sunday. I was civil to him - but it was not a workplace. It's a hobby club at which everyone is unpaid. Apart from the judge.

Shining you lost me at slapper.

Nice Shining

Reported @Shining101

Damn. What did I miss?

Was Shining101 being rude to me?

Not to you OP.
She called a young girl who was recently in the press a slapper.

Hmmm its very difficult , if you do not feel comfortable maybe find a way out of out or stay away as much as possible, but having said that just because he has raped a woman doesnt mean you are neccessarily at risk either.

Sorry didnt rtf x

I'd stay well away especially knowing that additional infomation

I've been a victim of rape.

I've never seen the men who raped me, since that day, but I have met two other convicted rapists, at 12 step meetings.

I was nervous around them at first, and I wouldn't have left the group at the same time as them without anyone else around, even after I got used to them.

And yes, I did get used to them. Having listened to them for a lot of time, over the period of a couple of years, I really think they had changed. And even I'm wrong about them, some people do change. I'm not the person I was 20 years ago.

So also I think it's wise to be cautious around such people, I also really believe in second chances and trying not to judge others. I know, though, that it's not that easy for everyone, and wouldn't want anyone to feel guilty about feeling unable to do that.

IMO this wasn't really about the OP's safety. At a public event and at work (even as a volunteer) that wasn't really the issue. It feeds into the idea of rapists as people who will grab strangers when the reality, as this man shows, is that women are generally more at risk in their own homes with people they know. For me, it's about whether or not you can be seen to condone his behaviour by attending. Personally, once the facts were verified, I'd have stayed well away. I can understand why the OP didn't though.

Thanks Gabilan. That was exactly my dilemma. But by not going I could have lied or been honest. I didn't feel it was my place to 'out' him. And if I hadn't volunteered then I would have had to do another date and he may still have been there anyway.

Presumably OP, you did actually manage to control yourself and not launch yourself at his throat or hide trembling behind the photocopier (after all, it is a 'workplace' right?!).

I'm glad Gabilan has brought sensibleness to the thread again.

It is hard, knowing something like that about a person, to know what your position should be. To sanction such a violent and vile act would be intolerable. I'm glad you were able to be nominally polite whilst spending no actual time with the man or interacting with him.