Parents of teenagers: AIBU?

[Dilemma2017]

Tell me honestly if this is normal for an 18 yr old girl. I'm so completely done with telling her to tidy her room. Sorry the photo is sideways.

That looks positively palace like compared to my 19 year olds room sometimes. It looks totally normal to me. Make up, clothes everywhere and normally half the Ikea kitchen department is in my daughter's room.

Well you can actually see the floor... it's better than my room was at that age

Yes it's normal

wow thats tidy

Far better than my 20yo's bedroom; about on a par with my 16yos.

You can see carpet - that's the unusual part

It's not too bad. Just clothes and make up. At least there's no rotting food.

Completely normal in my house. I have two sons and both have rooms like this. Floordrobes instead of wardrobes, glasses, cereal bowls and pizza boxes left on the floor. No dirty washing produced for days then they present me with an avalaunch of clothes that they need NOW. I think a lot of teenagers are like this. Can't wait until my two have their own places and I can visit and make a mess

That would be considered tidy by my DS. Just shut the door and stop nagging about it.

Yes totally normal.
However i came home yesterday and thought an alien had been in my house or something.
My dd1 had cleaned her room!!!!!!
I could actually see the floor!!!!!
I stood in her room and gazing in complete awesomeness.
The bin was overflowing as she had managed to put empty bottles and rubbish in the actual bin! It still hasn't made it to downstairs to the dustbin yet but still, beggars can't be choosers. She had also managed to place umpteen dirty plates/ cups/ knives and forks on the landing. It's kind of baby steps but I'm so pleased.

It's her room isn't it? Let her decide for herself how she wants to keep it.

It's normal I'm afraid.

However should you feel mischievous I would be hiding some prawns in her room for a good few days to stink it out. Tell her she needs to find whatever that stink is and to keep her room clean and tidy so it doesn't come back. Maybe randomly remove items from her room until she can tidy up and locate the missing items? Or threaten to publicly shame her by using photos of her room for one of those online 'find the object' games?

The alternative is to close the door and pretend it doesn't exist.

Sorry I'm not really helpful.

It's about as tidy as my own bedroom

That's quite tidy, all things considered.

Can't you just let her have her own space, as long as it isn't causing an insect infestation.

just keep the door shut, it's the only way.

'Fraid so. It's a grim stage, right enough.

If the bed was made her room would look immaculate compared to most teenagers rooms. As long as there is nothing rotting / stinking too much in DS's room I just ignore it.

It's tidier than my room at her age - actually, mines not that much better now.

YABU very unreasonable to post a picture of her room to be judged online though. I know it's anonymous and she's unlikely to know, but she's a teen (actually she's technically an adult) and that's her private space. You expect respect from your teens, this isn't showing her the same privilege.

She's an adult at 18. Shut the door and be done with it.

If the bed was made it wouldn't look as bad. My bedroom was a million times worse as a teen....I'm trying to stop my DC becoming messy teens (currently 12 and 10) but feel a bit hypocritical when I look at my own room

normal

That's tidier than my 11 year old's bedroom. I can't even walk across the floor of lego without steel toe-capped boots on.

Looks like my room My teens' rooms are tidier! But it's mainly clothes so nothing a 10 minute blitz wouldn't sort.

Once DS got a girlfriend he became more concerned with tidying and changing his bedsheets.

That's positively tidy compared to the state of my daughters bedroom.
I rarely ask her to tidy her bedroom; it's her space. I was a very untidy teenager and I have -mostly- grown out of it!
Learn to pick your battles, OP.