Parents of teenagers: AIBU?

[Dilemma2017]

Tell me honestly if this is normal for an 18 yr old girl. I'm so completely done with telling her to tidy her room. Sorry the photo is sideways.

Definitely normal - I don't get the obsession with tidiness personally!

You can actually see the carpet, so it's positively spotless by my 18 year old's standards.

I've ASKED for the photo to be removed. I know she wouldn't be bothered in the slightest. This bedroom is the background for thousands of pouting selfies. It's all over her (open) social media accounts.

I had a wall built across a third of her room

this is the funniest and best thing I've read on here. It's fabulous, I salute you!

Caps were by mistake btw and not me shouting at you all.

I'm glad you feel less stressed by it.

It would drive me nuts too, but yes, it's definitely not as bad as many I've seen.

Total over reaction about the photo, some people are barking.

As so many ha e said that is perfectly normal. DD now 22 still has the odd day when her room gets like this, but very quickly sorted.

I stressed about it at first a d then thought its her room let her get on with it.

Dilemma2017, it's not just the picture, this whole thread asking to judge an adult woman's bedroom is out of order. Especially since it hardly constitutes a mess to begin with. Much bigger difference between her posting selfies, and you trying to get her judged like a messy little girl with pictures to prove it. Do you really not get how disrespectful you have been?

This is a stealth post right?

Only joking. It looks tidy for an 18 year old, who is an adult. Yes, I understand but it's her room and it's not trashed. She does need to vacuum regularly though and dust occasionally.

Only go in to her room if she allows you to, so long as she is living there.

As long as mine strip their beds once or twice a week and don't have every fucking glass in the house in their rooms, I care not a jot about the general squalor.

Edmund I could try to defend myself but I won't. Sorry to have offended you. I'll show DD this when she's home and see what she says.

Overreaction to op about asking/photo. You could say the same about lots of things people ask on Mn

Dilemma2017, I'm not offended, I just never understand parents who feel the need to control their children through trying to embarrass them into 'behaving'. How would you feel if you found your mum had done this to you, especially as an adult?

@Dilemma2017, we've taken down the photo in your OP as requested.

Honestly, though, we reckon if you can still glimpse some patches of carpet in a teen's bedroom, you're on to a winner.

And, as others have said, you'll miss her (and her mess) once she's moved out!

If I posted a photo of my sons bedroom I'd have environmental health knocking at the door!

Thank you LouMumsnet!

Edmund my bedroom was spotless and my behaviour impeccable.

Right, shown her this thread and and the photo and she's not fussed it was put on MN in the slightest. But now she's grinning ear to ear as she's vindicated. She's asked me to go in and tidy it for her while her dad and her go to look at a car for her. I've lost out all round haven't I?

"And I didn't have a single moth, far less an infestation"

FrancisCrawford obviously not every moderately untidy, unhoovered room will lead to a moth infestation - much like not every smoker will get lung cancer, but it does increase the risk. Sorry that you can't see that

"Thank you. I feel I can relax and stop bothering her now you've all said it's normal. I'm a clean freak so I struggle with the state of it but I suppose that's my problem, not hers. Just read out replies to DH and we're both in agreement that we're BU. Love you mumsnetters."

Just c&p this rare sight- somebody accepting that they were being unreasonable with good grace! Well done OP!

Bollocks. The photo was deleted before I got a chance to see it.

I very rarely go into my teenagers' bedrooms. I also have a very simple tool for dealing with the chaos that I know will almost certainly be in there. It is called a door, and it is brilliant. You just close it and, bingo! No more mess to look at.

My parents used to spend a disproportionate amount of time insisting that my sister and I tidied our rooms when we were teenagers, rooms which they would be inspecting later. It caused some resentment and really wasn't worthwhile.

Trust me Topseyt , if your way of dealing with teenage mess is to close the door, excellent strategy, this room was spotless - the bed was a bit messy is all.

Elendon, , it is the only strategy. Otherwise I would be driven totally bonkers.

My DD1 is 22 now and DD2 is 19. Both largely outgrew the pigsty stage. Only 14 year old DD3 is still in it. She seems largely incapable of shutting her door when leaving her room, so I do have to do that, but as others have also said, it is not a battle worth picking.

Fuck me. I just googled messy teen rooms...it was an eye openener. There's no way on the little green earth I could relax in a house where a room was in the state they were 😳

Topsey. This was the only room I could find that was anything like on a par with the OP's DD's room, but her bed was unmade.

Sorry I meant her bed was a bit messier. It had a few bits on it.

This made me 😬

I love that Annie. Brilliant. You can still see carpet though.

But Annie, that room looks perfect. Or maybe my bar is set low.

I clean and tidy my house, but it is never that tidy!