Parents of teenagers: AIBU?

[Dilemma2017]

Tell me honestly if this is normal for an 18 yr old girl. I'm so completely done with telling her to tidy her room. Sorry the photo is sideways.

My 16 yr old DD's is worse. I hate it but I was the same and I'm quite a tidy adult so I don't worry I just close the door!

Um, can't see any mugs growing bacteria, can see the floor and top of dressing table not completely crowded full.
So, what are you complaining about? May not be how you would keep a bedroom, but IMO , on the better side of average for a teen.

My only strong reaction is the invasion of privacy, and the invitation for internet strangers to judge your Dd.

YABU ro post a photo of dd's room. Post a photo of your room for comparison.

Stealth boast

It's really not too bad at all but it's your house and if you want it tidied then you can ask her to do it. I have a cleaner so my DCs weren't allowed to leave their rooms messy as she would Hoover their rooms for them and dust.

It's no hardship for them to spend two minutes tidying their room. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They are at Uni and all seem to keep their houses and rooms tidy.

Does your DD know you've posted a picture of her bedroom on a forum for the world to see?

Hopefully the Fail don't pick this up and her bedroom doesn't end up plastered in the paper for the world to see

Get photo taken down OP before it appears in the Daily Mail!

Normal

Completely normal. Ds room is a pit. When he finally brings all the dirty dishes from his room, we can't fit all the mugs and glasses in the cupboard.

He tidies up when friends come over and when his granny comes down.......otherwise she'll do it.

He hoovered his room for the first time voluntarily the other day.........because a girl is coming over........

I'll swap you, OP. I have teen/tween boys - and Iv'e just cleared out under and down the side of his bed. You do not want to know what was down there, let's just say "health hazard" would cover it.

If you made that bed it wouldn't look bad at all. Does she need more storage space?

My eldest son cleans and tidies his room once a week ( when his girlfriend is going to stay over)
Unfortunately my younger son doesn't have a girlfriend and his room shows it

Looks like my 17 y.o.'s room (and mine).

My partner's 9 year old is already like that. He has 2 rooms that are both untidy (he had his own room but stealthily moved into the spare room to sleep because he prefers the double bed we set up for potential guests) . He has a lot of stuff he never even touches. We're moving soon and he will only have one bedroom so we're going to have to get rid of a lot of stuff.

Soon she will leave forever. Until then just shut the door.

Compared to my daughter's room ( she's 20 now) it looks pretty tidy. I think it is par for the course. I gave up going in her room and nagging her. She has to sort her own crap out. Which is not very often [hmm[]

I admit me and DH are a bit untidy, but not to her extent. At least we can see our floor and get into bed without shifting stuff, at night.

Normal.
You will miss her when she leaves!

Thank you. I feel I can relax and stop bothering her now you've all said it's normal. I'm a clean freak so I struggle with the state of it but I suppose that's my problem, not hers. Just read out replies to DH and we're both in agreement that we're BU. Love you mumsnetters.

It's fine. My dds are not too bad apart from the makeup and self tanning products all over the soddin carpet but hey ho.

My oldest ds is the biggest slob ever but married a lovely woman who won't tolerate it. He's now painfully tidy

I have three teenagers, one of whom is dd1 (18). Her room is similar/ veering towards much worse.

I hate that it looks like it. She has a lovely room and her own en suite all decorated how she wanted it and it's a pigsty mostly No matter what I say or how I say it that's how it looks. She'll fling the worst of it in a cupboard if someone is coming to see her but that's it.

The other two aren't nearly as bad and do tidy theirs thankfully. All three are dreadful for hoarding plates/glasses etc and I do put my foot down about that and explode regularly.

With dd1 I'm sorry to say that once in a while I go in and blitz it myself. I give her plenty of warning, but I do it mainly because as previously mentioned I don't want moths or anything setting up home in it.

I guess she'll improve one day but I suspect it won't happen until she has her own place. As I don't want to spend every day at war with her I just keep asking if she could tidy up and she just keeps saying yeah yeah, and doesn't.

This helps

Dilemma2017, do you not think you were most unreasonable in posting a picture of her bedroom?

Deffo normal. Love all the make up everywhere! You'll miss it when she's gone ha.

Yes normal, sadly. I got so frustrated with 17yos room being a tip I had a wall built across a third of her room and created a walk in wardrobe. Now all that is in her bedroom is her bed and bedside table. Everything else is behind the wall and relatively tidy. It's lovely.