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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to shake hands at an interview?

182 replies

Mehfruittea · 05/05/2017 12:41

I'm the one interviewing.

I have EDS and my fingers dislocate easily. When I shake hands with someone, even a light grip hurts. If someone does a 'power pump' on me then my little finger joint dislocates at the top.

I did 2 interviews today and now my hand is killing. I've got 4 on Monday and 6 on Tuesday.

How do I get out of handshakes when I first meet someone? And without coming across like a dick or putting them off their interview?

OP posts:
TheViceOfReason · 05/05/2017 12:44

just say with a smile - "nice to meet you, sorry, i won't be shaking hands as i have a condition that makes it very painful for me"

Algebraic · 05/05/2017 12:44

Smile friendly and assertively and say "I won't shake your hand" as they offer theirs. If you want an easy excuse say I've had a cold or something like that.

NellieFiveBellies · 05/05/2017 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elevenclips · 05/05/2017 12:44

I won't be shaking hands as I hurt my hand?

reallyanotherone · 05/05/2017 12:44

All you need to do is say "sorry, do you mind if I don't shake you hand, old injury flares up" or some such. Then leave it.

Doubt anyone will insist :). I don't like touching people full stop and much prefer it if hand shakes aren't offered ...

Hereward1332 · 05/05/2017 12:45

Put you arm in a sling?

Religious principles?

insancerre · 05/05/2017 12:46

I think honestly if you came for an interview and you told me you couldn't shake hands because of potentially dislocating a finger, then I probably wouldn't employ you
I would worry about your level of fitness and the potential for a lot of time off

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 05/05/2017 12:46

Just for ease and so you don't have to get into it, you could just wrap your hand in a bandage? Or offer a high five Grin

YADNBU, but I wouldn't just say 'I won't shake your hand' it sounds rude.

SocksRock · 05/05/2017 12:46

Can you get a wrist splint? Would make it obvious you have an injury.

WorraLiberty · 05/05/2017 12:47

The OP is the one interviewing, insancerre

GeorgiePeachie · 05/05/2017 12:47

Do what people do in some cultures where you put your hand over your heart and give a slight bow smiling and saying nice to meet you.

Then when you've spoken to them a bit you can explain I have EDS, so I won't shake your hand but it was lovely to meet you.

Actually I think this is a great interview technique to slightly put them on the back foot by not doing what is expected. But you can put them at ease at the end.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/05/2017 12:48

Arm in a sling, brilliant suggestion by pp.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 05/05/2017 12:48

Insancerre the OP is the one holding the interviews! Having 12 interviews in the space of a week would be pretty good going for a candidate Grin

insancerre · 05/05/2017 12:48

Worra
Blush
Sorry op
Don't know how I missed that
I'm that case then just don't offer your hand

LurkinMerkin · 05/05/2017 12:49

Be totally comfortable explaining in a light breezy fashion, with a smile:

I'm not going to shake your hand but I'm very pleased to meet you, thanks for coming in today, shall we get started etc etc.

Don't overthink it. Go for a gentle arm pat if you want to be tactile, or just avoid touching altogether.

As the interviewer you're in control, don't overthink it. Smile

TawnyPippit · 05/05/2017 12:50

Can you put a tubigrip or bandage on it for the interview. It gives a clear visual "keep clear" signal. I would just say very firmly - sorry, I can't shake hands at the moment, let's deem them shaken" and then move on.

If someone asks what you have done, you can then just say "Oh I have an injury/condition which means that if someone catches me at the wrong angle they can dislocate my finger. It would be an awful thing to happen to an interviewee and I would feel bad about it". That's it.

Hullabaloo31 · 05/05/2017 12:52

I'd go with something visible, wrist splint or a big plaster.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 05/05/2017 12:52

Tawny's suggestion is perfect

NavyandWhite · 05/05/2017 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 05/05/2017 12:52

Announce confidently that you've just picked your nose.

KavvLar · 05/05/2017 12:52

Go for the fake hand shake and then pull your hand up and away, thumb your nose and waggle your fingers and shout 'PSYCHE!'

Puts every interviewee at ease.

Or if you prefer, what Pps have said sounds eminently reasonable. I just prefer the 1990's schoolboy approach.

user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 12:53

Put a support bandage on your hand. Then, if someone goes to shake it, all you have to do is lift it and say "Sorry...got a bit of a hand issue at the moment!" in a smiley fashion.

SapphireStrange · 05/05/2017 12:56

Like vice says:
'nice to meet you, sorry, i won't be shaking hands as i have a condition that makes it very painful for me'

It's not that hard. Confused

Goldfishjane · 05/05/2017 12:56

Say "i can't shake your hand, I have EDS"

If they don't know what it is, they can look it up

Or you could say "I have EDS and it's painful"

Satsumer · 05/05/2017 12:57

I like Worra suggestion.

Or you could say "I won't shake your hand as I like to keep them clean for wiping my bum with"