AIBU?? Is this taking the piss?

[TesticleMeElmo]

Right, bit of a rant here but hear me out. Our DD is 4 next week, so we're having a party on Sunday for her. We've hired a hall, got the nibbles sorted, and invited everyone she wants and a fair few family members and their children as well. Apart from the fact that it's taken best part of a sodding month for anyone to rsvp, I'm now suddenly getting messages galore asking 'Are parents staying or are we just dropping off?'
Surely this is ridiculous?? I wouldn't DREAM of leaving DD at a party free for all with roughly 40 other kids that she's unlikely to know many of (we have a large family) while she's so young. Is this a thing now? What if they need the toilet?? What if they break themselves? What if they break someone else?? What if they're being horrible little shits and need to be told off??! Am I right in thinking they just want an afternoon of free childcare while they bugger off and do something that's actually fun? How old were yours when you left them?

So it's a soft play? We have those. But they're on the outskirts of the town in an industrial estate, or at the local leisure centre, so 5 mins drive away. Everyone dumps and runs here at those.

Dtds are in year 1 at school and parents all usually stay even at 6yo parties - I think they like the chat. Dd1 we all left from year 1 as we knew the parents better.

I have a feeling I'll still be staying at parties when dtds are 10 with their year group. It's odd but they're all lovely.

Ifeelcrap.....The other parents more than likely don't know that, perhaps you could put a note in the invite to say please don't feel the need to stay, you can collect at such a time.....Other than that, I'm afraid i don't know what else to say to you. You may not have been able to suck it up....I have had to whether i like it or not....Please don't read my comment re sucking it up as being nasty about you.....Was explaining about me, wasn't even thinking about you when i put that.

That's not their business. My MH issues are not for general consumption.

Gosh you are rude.

I feel crappy....I think of soft play as being for babies...These are more activity playbarns for older kids....They are called playbarns round here. Pleased yours are five mins away, ours aren't and people stay because it's not worth the drive home again. Things are different for everyone, i recognise that. Round me, people stay. The cafe place is so big, it's not an issue, the parents running the party often don't sit with the other parents....Some parents sit out of the way, on their own. As kids have got older, some go, some even sit in the car outside, but there's usually at least two tables full of parents chatting, till the end. They don't bother anyone.

Specifically

You may not have been able to suck it up....I have had to whether i like it or not

Really really unempathetic, and showing no understanding of the fact that not everyone is like you. I couldn't just suck it up, whether i like it or not. I couldn't do it - it would put my MH into a downward spiral and likely end in a suicide attempt. So I prefer not to a - advertise that and b - participate in those type of events.

It would bother me.

MN wisdom is, if your name isn't on the invite you don't go.

Why is this different?

Ifeelcrap....Of course it's not their business...Didn't say it was!!! Think you are unusually latching on to me here and reading bad in my posts when it's not there.

Ifeelcrap...If your name isn't on the invite don't go......Fine...Not my issue....It's the norm round me....I can't change it....

Mumzy I don't know if it's something in how you express yourself in the written word, but you are coming across as spectacularly judgemental, haughty and condescending. As well as unempathetic and lacking in understanding of difference. And a bit rude.

Ifeelcrap.....I really don't care if you could suck it up or not....Leave me alone....its not all about you.....My post was not about you, it was about me.....Do you not think other people have difficulties too!!!! You are being a bully here.....I have tried to explain, you are clearly not going to let it go....Jeez....Come on here to say how it's like for me in my area, and people nit pick....Find you have to explain more and more ....It's my area, i cant help what it is like....

Ifeelcrap...You are incredibly rude too. Go away.

I am not bullying you.

And you aren't the thread police. So. Nope. Not going to go away because you tell me to. MN doesn't work like that.

Ifeelcrap...You have unusually latched on to me. Was explaining how i feel at these things, was not even addressing you at that point, was talking about how i feel. Was not referring to you. How i feel is clearly different to how you feel. Please latch on to someone else and pick on their thread. Things are different all over the country....You said you would feel anxious if parents stayed...I said they more than likely don't know that..Didn't say you had to tell them.

To be fair, mumzypops, you have accused people of bullying you on every thread I've seen you on (3 or 4).

I'm not sure there's a need for a bunfight here though. Some stay, some don't. Who really cares.

But surely it's not beyond the bounds of possibility for you to think that not everyone does what you do and that what you do might make other people feel very anxious?

I wouldn't have dropped and run age 4. Too young IMO. Especially not with nursery invite if you didn't know the parents. Some parents are v keen to not stay but at nursery and early years I wanted to get to know the other parents, as well as being there with my child. But it's better for them to ask than assume - I would've been surprised too OP

I feel crap....Was not asking you to leave the thread, if course i cant do that, but i can politely ask you to leave me alone, and that is what i have done. Bullying is in the eye of the beholder...I felt bullied, and i told you so.

You said go away.

Ifeelcrap go away ...From me, is not the same as get off the thread. You have explained your mental health, so i am not going to correspond with you any more. Have a nice day.

Seriously you think that go away doesn't mean get off the thread?

I know I have MH issues, but I'm not thick and to me, go away means, well, go away. Get off this thread and go elsewhere.

Sarah...Yes i have...Because people have turned every thread into a bunfight. It is ok to ask people to back off when you are feeling vulnerable you know.

Do as you would be done by.

Just saying.

AIBU is known to be the bunfighty bit of MN. It's the raison d'etre on this section.

You might want to bear that in mind Mumzy.