AIBU?? Is this taking the piss?

[TesticleMeElmo]

Right, bit of a rant here but hear me out. Our DD is 4 next week, so we're having a party on Sunday for her. We've hired a hall, got the nibbles sorted, and invited everyone she wants and a fair few family members and their children as well. Apart from the fact that it's taken best part of a sodding month for anyone to rsvp, I'm now suddenly getting messages galore asking 'Are parents staying or are we just dropping off?'
Surely this is ridiculous?? I wouldn't DREAM of leaving DD at a party free for all with roughly 40 other kids that she's unlikely to know many of (we have a large family) while she's so young. Is this a thing now? What if they need the toilet?? What if they break themselves? What if they break someone else?? What if they're being horrible little shits and need to be told off??! Am I right in thinking they just want an afternoon of free childcare while they bugger off and do something that's actually fun? How old were yours when you left them?

Sarah.....Is this some sort of cried justice? I've not done anything to you?

Sorry, keyboard error, Zarah

Sarah.....So?! I'm not going to trawl through yours. Aren't you being a bully now?!

I don't have to trawl through your posts. Unfortunately, I remember them. Doesn't make me a bully.

Sarah....It makes you a bully if you join in with someone else to have a go at me. This is not your argument. If you didn't like what i said in other posts I'm sure there was facility for you to tell me that.

And Zara, thought you said something about trawling through posts, so i used that language too. Sorry if you didn't.

Ok, I think things are escalating here so I'm going to stop posting. I mentioned the previous threads mumzy because you seem to see yourself as the victim all the time, without realising that you say things that upset people sometimes.

I think you and ifeel are misunderstanding each other, to the point that ellipses and emojis are causing you both upset.

Might be best to let things lie now.

I tried to let things lie, said goodbye a few times....

Still don't know what an Elise or ellipse is.

If I'm making them, don't mean to.

Sarah....I think everybody on here has a different point of view. I'm happy to accept others points of view but if they have a go at me for mine, I try to explain more. I usually find people get nasty then. A lot of people like golliwogs....not just me....Sorry, can't even remember the post now....Someone on this thread said they drop off four year olds, i said in my area they stay at age eight even. Not being nasty to anyone. I think someone else on this thread also said they have never heard of four years olds being dropped off.

Mumzy. You're writing using...... to join sentences. She finds this rude.

Ellipses are the three dots (...) people use at the end of a sentence.

I think ifeel's anxiety is perhaps making her think you meant something by them.

Why are you talking about Gollies?

Ellipses are properly used (ie in formal writing) to indicate where words have been removed/omitted.

So they can lead people who are used to seeing them in that context to wonder what you are implying is 'unsaid' in your writing.

Oh dear....Had no idea using.....Would upset people. It's not threatening, it's to join up a sentence. Lots of people do it. Sorry if that has upset anyone.....Struggling to stop doing it though....It's just habit.

Mummy of...Sarah raised what i had said in another thread a long time ago about gollies....I can't even remember what it was...I think a lot of people said the same thing.

Jesus H , this place is hard work sometimes.

Jassy....Oh, sorry, had no idea.

Bloody hell, how did this turn?

So let me get this straight.

You want me to go away but you don't mean go away off the thread.

You want me to stop using an approved MN smilie that they provide, that according to the list of smilies means "confused" and you don't want anyone to address you using those smilies.

You aren't going to stop doing something that I find rude.

And you say lots of people use ellipses to join sentences, when you are the only person on this thread doing it, and I can only think of one other poster on here who regularly uses them?

OKAAAAY.

Have a nice day now.

Jassy....Oh, sorry, had no idea.

TBH, to me, in informal writing, overuse of ellipses gives me the impression that the writer is vague and struggling to get their thoughts together. Not saying you are, but that's the impression it conveys to me.

To others, it can convey the impression, consciously or subconsciously, that you are leaving things unsaid.

It's a risk when you use punctuation other than in its usual context. Like using a question mark when you're not asking a question, or all caps when you're not intending to be read as shouting.

Good morning, folks.
Just butting in to shout a quick peace and love as we can see this thread is getting a bit heated. We know this is AIBU and all, but we'd like to remind you that Mumsnet is primarily here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other in their choices and express their views without resorting to personal attacks.

I wouldn't have left my son at four and neither would any of the other mums. In fact at the fifth birthdays when children were left they often got upset. It was a big thing when at my sons fifth we had to request parents didn't stay due to space. I wouldn't have asked that question personally and mostly parents stay at parties unless specified not to

Thanks Becky. I'm a bit non plussed as to why this argument started. Thanks for the clarification Mumzy.

4 definitely too young to leave IMHO! MAYBE if they have an older sibling there, but even then I'd think twice. At a four year old's party, there are lots of children still 3 and that's definitely too young!