AIBU?? Is this taking the piss?

[TesticleMeElmo]

Right, bit of a rant here but hear me out. Our DD is 4 next week, so we're having a party on Sunday for her. We've hired a hall, got the nibbles sorted, and invited everyone she wants and a fair few family members and their children as well. Apart from the fact that it's taken best part of a sodding month for anyone to rsvp, I'm now suddenly getting messages galore asking 'Are parents staying or are we just dropping off?'
Surely this is ridiculous?? I wouldn't DREAM of leaving DD at a party free for all with roughly 40 other kids that she's unlikely to know many of (we have a large family) while she's so young. Is this a thing now? What if they need the toilet?? What if they break themselves? What if they break someone else?? What if they're being horrible little shits and need to be told off??! Am I right in thinking they just want an afternoon of free childcare while they bugger off and do something that's actually fun? How old were yours when you left them?

Why do people hire a hall? What entertainment is put on for the children that needs that much space? A party for a four-year-old to me means a tea party at home with a few friends from nursery or school with standard party games, etc. That's why it seems OK to me to leave a four-year-old there - a few (no more than five) friends with a grown-up they know, whose flat/house they'd been to before. All the parties my DC went to at this age were like this. If the party was outside at the local park with a picnic, then parents would stay.

Mummy if..sorry, I've been out for the day and just come back. It started unintentionally. I was posting about how things are around me where I live, and ifeelcrap came on talking about her anxiety and how that wouldn't work for her. I carried on joining in and think our posts cross posted and she thought somehow i was talking about her. Im on a phone, so when i posted, and looked up, her post was up ahead of mine but i hadn't seen it. Then somehow she thought i was being mean. I wasn't. Or at least it wasn't intentional. She kept on and on so i asked her to leave me alone and go away. She thought that meant get off the thread. It didn't. She then told me to get off the thread....

Trouble just follows you, doesn't it's mumzy?...

Can we now lay off please Mags. We've been asked for peace and love from the powers that be. And Mumzy. Please try not to take offence and get into fights. It's really not worth it.

Blimey! These last few pages read like a case study in 'just how much can two people misunderstand each other?'

Seriously folks, life's far too short. for everyone!

Sorry madmags I have no idea what you mean?. Don't think that post of yours is very nice?!

GIVE IT A REST

P.S. That was Comedy Shouting, not unkind shouting

I did invite 40 kids for my first child birthday, most all parents stay, we have a muppet show in the living room, no space for all parents, but somehow worked! I wish they didn't stay, he 6th birthday is next Sunday and I have parents saying they will drop off and other asking if the sibling could go( of course he will stay) I wish I told him just drop her off! If is a soft play or a church hall I will stay( if more parents stay) at ballet Christmas party they kick parents out and half hour later called us to pick up my 4 years old! So I stay if my 4 years old is invite, but if is a small party and my 6 years old friends that I know for couple years, I don't stay!

Big fuss about a non issue imo, just tell them if you want them to stay bt off topic, what does children breaking themsleves mean?

Are you worried they will get broken bones, sounds very violent for 4 year olds

Years ago I read a very good piece of advice re children's parties. you invite a number of additional children which is the child's age plus 1.

So a two year old has three little guests.
A three year old has four .
A four year old five .
Etc

It works. You have a manageable number of children, they all have fun, they all get attention, no one gets lost, no one get overwhelmed or tired and emotional, you stay sane , you don't need to hire the Albert Hall, clearing up is easy, it doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

Yabu to assume people are trying to dump their kids and do a runner. At least people are asking rather than assuming either way.
Some people may be looking for reassurance that you're not expecting them to leave you in charge of their children. Good luck with the party.

(I haven't read the thread, it's very long!)

viques

Yes, I used that formula

YABU and over reacting massively. It's just a question. Some parties you do leave your kids. How are they to know if they don't ask?

A few months there were posters on here slagging off couples who dared to both show up to accompany their child to their LO's party. Basically, every host seems to have different attitudes as to what's acceptable. By asking, they're covering their backs. As long as they're not complaining about your answer, give them a break.

This is NOT normal, i think they are wanting an afternoon off. I would never leave my daughter at that age. I once had it happen at my DD party, i didn't know till it was to late. i was busy and the parent told a family member she was leaving her DD and went. I had now contact details or anything. I think that was the last big party i did, after that it was close friends of my DD. It is STUPID behavior of the parents you are to busy sorting party things to be babysitting their kids as well.

Hah, it is completely normal. People just do things differently.

Dumping and running without leaving a contact number is ridiculous though

Its pretty usual round here. We usually write on the invites.. Drop off 1, pick up 3 or whatever, so the parents know to bugger off! I've only held enough numbers that I can cope with though.

Bigger parties tend to have lots more adults to help.

Ha. I thought I could have been one of those parents who got in touch with you. My 4 year old was invited to a girl's 4th birthday party from nursery on Sunday there.

This is the first party like this they've been invited to so I don't know the etiquette! I text the number on the invite over a week in advance to see if parents were to stay because I have a 1 year old who is in at everything and as they weren't (obviously) invited I wanted to arrange childcare for them so I could stay if need be.

I got no response. After a few days I phoned but it wasn't answered. Eventually I text again explaining that I was looking to find out so I could arrange childcare if need be for my younger one. Got a reply this time with lots of hun, bubz and kisses in it saying it was up to me and I could bring the baby if I wanted.

There was no mention of a bar so you must not be the host of the party mine went to!

I think I've learned 2 things from this. 1 is that the invite should implicitly state whether parents should stay or not and 2 use a PP above's suggestion of only have a party with the number of people relating to the child's age plus one. Think I'll avoid the big class parties!!

YABU.

It's a perfectly reasonable and obvious question, just say which you prefer and stop worrying about it.