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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put Bonjela on my fanjo? *warning - bit sporny*

318 replies

Laiste · 02/05/2017 14:33

in order to numb this (small pea sized) lump enough to lance and squeeze the bugger!

Tried yesterday and it was so eye wateringly painful but i only got a bit of clear watery stuff out. There's obviously more to it.

I think it's a great idea! Bonjela's ok in the mouth so it'll be ok down there yes?

OP posts:
Bleurghghghgh · 02/05/2017 19:28

I'm so pleased to be experiencing this live

TheGoodWife16 · 02/05/2017 19:29

I've got my legs crossed in horror, but can't stop refreshing the page 😑

ConfidentlyUnhinged · 02/05/2017 19:29

Better than a birth thread. Thanks for sharing this special night with us op.

Bleurghghghgh · 02/05/2017 19:29

Imagine if OP disappeared now

TheGoodWife16 · 02/05/2017 19:31

I can feel the pain! 🤢

MetalMidget · 02/05/2017 19:32

Whilst we're all over sharing, I had an ingrown hair on my minge. The lump was there for months. Eventually I got the husband to poke it with a sterilised needle, and he managed to free the ingrown hair.

Later I had a shower, and I noticed a tiny white spot around the hair. You can probably guess what happened next. A little squeeze and a huge blob of white stuff shot out and made a mess of the tiles. More squeezing more stuff, this time thicker in consistency. Lump was considerably reduced!

Managed to clear it after a couple of days, but I secretly miss it.

Bleurghghghgh · 02/05/2017 19:32

Come on come on come on OP

lasttimeround · 02/05/2017 19:32

Please do update

Sanoffyhighstepson · 02/05/2017 19:32

I just found this thread ❤️🍻

nervesshredded · 02/05/2017 19:34

I really need this thread today 🍷

TheGoodWife16 · 02/05/2017 19:35

I've had a nasty groin alien 👽 lump like that MetalMidget. Morbid fascination as I squeezed and white squiggly stuff shot out. Disappointed when there was nothing left to squeeze, but the pain beforehand was excruciating.

TheGoodWife16 · 02/05/2017 19:37

OP, are you okay? Hope you've not been left in a Bonjela coma down below 🤔

MrsArthurShappey · 02/05/2017 19:38

FFS, 10 whole minutes since 'I'm about to lance'. laiste there's a word for people like you Angry

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/05/2017 19:39

Is she drowning in pus or something?

PurpleNurple69 · 02/05/2017 19:41

I had something similar on my nipple when I was pregnant with no. 2. I have it a pinch and a squeeze and some...stuff....came out of it. Sniffed it (as you so) and it was cocoa butter! Thank god - I had visions of my poor pregnant boob deflating whilst gunk poured out my nipple Confused

Bleurghghghgh · 02/05/2017 19:42

OP

LordPercy · 02/05/2017 19:44

Bonjela coma 😂😂😂

Flowerbunty · 02/05/2017 19:45

Shamelessly placemarking as I love this shit!

Doublemint · 02/05/2017 19:47

Omg I love this thread.

BillyButtfuck · 02/05/2017 19:47

Fucking hell Op don't do this to us! Tell us about your current fango feeling!!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 02/05/2017 19:48

Come on OP! We need sporn! By the way, has no one sounded the yet? Shame on you all!

ChrissieS79 · 02/05/2017 19:48

Think I just heard a distant bang from outside....... Boil popped maybe?

weebananamilkshake · 02/05/2017 19:51

OP - where are you?! You were lancing 20 minutes ago!

What do we do if she doesn't come back? Should we all go door to door in our streets asking if people to check their bathrooms for an unconscious mumsnetter in a compromising position?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/05/2017 19:52

What? I've just got to the end and no update!

MrTumblesbitch · 02/05/2017 19:52

I am so jealous ❤️