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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put Bonjela on my fanjo? *warning - bit sporny*

318 replies

Laiste · 02/05/2017 14:33

in order to numb this (small pea sized) lump enough to lance and squeeze the bugger!

Tried yesterday and it was so eye wateringly painful but i only got a bit of clear watery stuff out. There's obviously more to it.

I think it's a great idea! Bonjela's ok in the mouth so it'll be ok down there yes?

OP posts:
NorksAreMessy · 03/05/2017 18:36

Has anyone yet mentioned vagina dentata ?
Now that WOULD need Bonjela :)

CattyMcCatface · 03/05/2017 18:44

I get these cysts too. The first I ever got was humongous, I was frantic about it and soooo embarrassed, and after about a week thought there was no option but to go to the docs. Luckily for me it exploded just before I was to go - such a relief! The ones I get now aren't so big as that, they feel huge but are really only petit pois size. I think it is tight trousers that cause them, I noticed if I wore some that cut round the crotch (especially when driving!) I got a lump a couple of days later! Just thought you might like to know that!

CattyMcCatface · 03/05/2017 18:45

By the way, which Bonjella are you using? There is the babies teething one, or adults mouth ulcer one.

Gingercatsarethebest2017 · 03/05/2017 18:58

It will be fine! Hot compress good idea too tho. Good luck

alypoole · 03/05/2017 18:59

OMG, haven't laughed so much for ages! Brill! Forwarded it to my daughter in law. Is that weird????🤔

BillyButtfuck · 03/05/2017 19:05

Aly really weird Grin I've nominated this for classics!

pollymere · 03/05/2017 19:13

You could end up getting it infected. If it hurts that much, it's probably not just a bit or blackhead. Probably better to see your GP.

BlahBlahblahEtc · 03/05/2017 19:27

I just read this entire post... THANK YOU TO EVERY ONE! Truly brilliant way to end a shitty day

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 03/05/2017 19:32

Lidocaine ointment 5%. I use daily to treat vestibulardynia (nerve pain at entrance to vagina). Slight burning sensation when first applied but then numbs completely. Only way I can have sex! This is a safe way to numb the area, although bursting it yourself may not be wise.

Jojofjo44 · 03/05/2017 19:50

I accidentally got vicks vapour rub on my fallula once whilst scratching an itch. It throbbed like a mofo but was quite pleasant.

HildaOg · 03/05/2017 20:17

I've had an occasional small cyst, I use tea tree oil directly on them the second they come up. It works.

mygorgeousmilo · 03/05/2017 20:31

Laughing and cringing and agghhhhh. But yeah, hot compress

Princesspinkgirl · 03/05/2017 20:35

Im sure this thread will end up in the daily fail ..

MrsArthurShappey · 03/05/2017 20:55

laiste I moved to the Welsh Marches from Northants, 'tis lovely. I could never afford to move back.

Takeyourownadvice · 03/05/2017 21:10

Is it wrong that I just read this entire post whilst eating a lovely piece of quiche Lorraine for my dinner. Yum.

FiveShelties · 03/05/2017 21:19

And another huge thank you from me - had a horrible day, trying to get sense out of Inland Revenue (and failing) - this was just the thing to cheer me.

I do hope your Fanjo is recovering - and there is a line I never thought I would post on the net!

Thank you thank you!

Ruhrpott · 03/05/2017 21:21

I love living in Wales

CattyMcCatface · 03/05/2017 21:21

I bet I get one now - seems like fate after reading this, and I haven't had one for ages. Funny things aren't they, horrible while you have it, but oddly miss it once it's popped.

LurpakIstheOnlyButter · 03/05/2017 21:25

not RTFT. But has anyone asked for a diagram yet Grin?

Thingamajiggy · 03/05/2017 21:28

A spot? where?? Are you sure it's a actually something to lance?

Fluffyears · 03/05/2017 21:57

I had an amazing book on my bum cheek once. I felt a spot and had a look in the mirror and it was a massive boil with a big white head on it. Gave it a pop and it actually made a crack sound as it burst and gave out loads of pus. Sadly never got another as it was glorious. I also got two dots on my top lip that joined into one uber spot! It was so big I looked like I was constantly sneering as it pulled my lip. It took over a week until the head appeared. Once I squeezed it it gave out tons of crap then a massive black bit of pus which must have been the 'core' it was a great sporn spot,

KreamyKoala · 03/05/2017 22:03

See! I KNEW other people put Vic's on their fanny and ENJOYED it

KreamyKoala · 03/05/2017 22:07

Also, I once had a massive spot at the top of my thigh, think my tights has been rubbing there or something, anyway, I would 'milk' it every morning and loads of gunk would come out and fill up again by next morning. It was marvellous.

But the best bit of all was when I went away for a few days and forgot all about it and when I spotted it and squeezed it, it shot across the bathroom to the other wall about 8 feet away, a marvellous powerful jet of blood-streaked puss that made a right racket.

Still remember and cherish that to this day

ConfidentlyUnhinged · 03/05/2017 22:16

I love this wonderfully disgusting thread.

Jojofjo44 · 03/05/2017 22:55

Kreamykoala I have - done this a few times since - never repeated the Vicks accident