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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aaargh stop texting me.

146 replies

GreenHairDontCare · 02/05/2017 06:43

Every. Fucking. Morning.

At 6am. Even on a Sunday.

Ever since I was in hospital last year, my SIL has taken to sending me the same text every morning asking how I am and what my plans are. If I don't reply within an hour or so she texts again and then panics and starts ringing DH.

I find it really intrusive and tbh I hardly ever have 'plans' beyond the school run so it's all a bit pointless.

My alarm goes off at 7am although I'm usually awake by 6.30. Her texts have been getting earlier and earlier and for the last couple of weeks have been 6am or just before. My phone is on silent but still vibrates, and makes my FitBit vibrate too.

I've started being quite terse in my replies (Fine. No plans.) but she still insists. I don't actually see her, haven't for about a year, but dh has mentioned it being unnecessary and she says it's just because she worries.

She doesn't react well to being asked not to do something (see also huge huge piles of presents for every birthday/Christmas), as in she usually reacts by doing it even more.

I'm just doomed I think to be stuck in this boring text cycle and being woken up earlier than I'd like.

WIBU to start getting a bit creative with my replies? 'I'm fine, thinking about fellating DH later' etc?

OP posts:
MyOtherNameIsTaken · 02/05/2017 06:44

Think I would change my phone number!

Trifleorbust · 02/05/2017 06:45

Ignore her completely. How odd. If she stalks your DH then at least she is his sister.

AnyFucker · 02/05/2017 06:46

Turn your phone to flight mode

Or just tell her to stop.

LedaP · 02/05/2017 06:47

I would tell her that its too early and you wont be responding.

But your fitbit on do not disturb, if you can. If not knock text notifications off before bed.Turn vibrate off your phone at night.

The only way she will stop is if you put your foot down. Tell her you would be loads better of you didnt get woken up so early.

Does she have anxiety? Becsuse this is really odd behaviour.

Trollspoopglitter · 02/05/2017 06:47

You could just be honest. You woke me up - please don't ring before 7.

HepKestrel · 02/05/2017 06:50

I would start making up more and more ridiculous lies about my daily routine. So you are talking but never give her a straight answer.

I may have a twisted sense of humour though.

InfiniteSheldon · 02/05/2017 06:51

It's too early please don't text at this time again. Save it as a response and send it every Mir ing. Every evening about 7 ish send please don't text me early it's very annoying I know you mean well but it's disrupting my sleep cycle.

billabye · 02/05/2017 06:51

Mute her messages and tell her to stop. Tough luck if she doesn't like it.

Original poster
GreenHairDontCare · 02/05/2017 06:52

Honesty won't work. I've been through this with her on several issues before. If I ask her to stop she'll probably start texting at 5am. Plus, DH has already asked her to stop and she just brushed him off.

I'm 100% sure she does have anxiety but she has never sought any kind of treatment for it and she's been this way for the nearly eleven years I've known her.

OP posts:
Boredwithmyname · 02/05/2017 06:53

"Well I did have a plan for another hour of sleep but your text just woke me up. Please stop texting me so early"

Trifleorbust · 02/05/2017 06:55

I would block her if she had a track record of such unreasonable behaviour. It really is unacceptable.

MiniCooperLover · 02/05/2017 06:56

Why is she so determined to text you ??!?

watchoutformybutt · 02/05/2017 06:57

Send her messages to your spam or junk text folder of you have that option. That's what I did to an ex. Why put up with the discomfort she causes? If she panics and phones your husband let him deal with her.

Hissy · 02/05/2017 06:57

Block the number? Get a new number?

There is no need to be held to ransom like this.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 02/05/2017 06:57

She's being very selfish. She's only doing it to serve her own anxious needs, not to help or support you.

I don't agree with putting your phone in a DND mode - what if someone else needs to get hold of you in the night?

I think you need to tell her straight and keep telling her until she listens. Tell her it is causing you stress and disrupting your sleep and is detrimental to you, not helpful. Tell her you are fine at the moment and you will let her know if that changes, and that in the meantime you have DH there to make sure you are ok.

I'm angry on your behalf. I used to have a sort of MIL who did this and it did my head in Envy

reup · 02/05/2017 06:58

Why can't you turn your phone off or leave it in another room?

LedaP · 02/05/2017 06:58

Then block her every night. Turn the house phone ringer off.

Original poster
GreenHairDontCare · 02/05/2017 06:58

I'm so glad other people think it's out of order. She's a 'kill with kindness' type and I often feel like I'm batshit for complaining when she's just trying to be nice.

It's suffocating though.

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacle · 02/05/2017 06:59

Turn the phone off. Respond when you turn it on after 7.

It can't be that simple surely [oh yes it can].

AlpacaLypse · 02/05/2017 07:00

I found Do Not Disturb on my android phone a couple of months ago. It definitely turns off vibrate as well as sound notifications, and I can choose to allow some numbers through.

I like InfiniteSheldon's suggestion.

Skp87 · 02/05/2017 07:01

It sounds very strange....what's she like outside of this whole texting business? How often do you see her? You don't need to reply to these texts, maybe it will take (a long!) time but if you persist in ignoring them she will stop eventually. Sometimes any response is encouragement to that sort of behaviour. If she mentions the texts in person you can try saying something like, as we've discussed before, I won't reply at this time or such like. Good luck!!!

WellErrr · 02/05/2017 07:01

Well I did have a plan for another hour of sleep but your text just woke me up. Please stop texting me so early

Send this.

Why would you put up with this!?

Siwdmae · 02/05/2017 07:02

Flight mode/phone on silent. I'd be raging to be woken up at 6 on a weekend. Tell her it upsets you, maybe that will reasonate.

Original poster
GreenHairDontCare · 02/05/2017 07:02

I need to play around with my phone settings I think (iPhone SE if anyone knows what to do).

The trouble with turning notifications or whatever off is that I am very likely to forget to turn them back on. My phone is usually on silent (because I forget to change it) and then I rely on my Fitbit to let me know when it's ringing.

OP posts:
Gallavich · 02/05/2017 07:03

There really is no reason to have vibrate notifications on at night. Switch them off!
Also, why can't you say to her 'I appreciate the thought but your messages are too early, I can't reply immediately because I am asleep' what is the worst that will happen?

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