Aaargh stop texting me.

[GreenHairDontCare]

Every. Fucking. Morning.

At 6am. Even on a Sunday.

Ever since I was in hospital last year, my SIL has taken to sending me the same text every morning asking how I am and what my plans are. If I don't reply within an hour or so she texts again and then panics and starts ringing DH.

I find it really intrusive and tbh I hardly ever have 'plans' beyond the school run so it's all a bit pointless.

My alarm goes off at 7am although I'm usually awake by 6.30. Her texts have been getting earlier and earlier and for the last couple of weeks have been 6am or just before. My phone is on silent but still vibrates, and makes my FitBit vibrate too.

I've started being quite terse in my replies (Fine. No plans.) but she still insists. I don't actually see her, haven't for about a year, but dh has mentioned it being unnecessary and she says it's just because she worries.

She doesn't react well to being asked not to do something (see also huge huge piles of presents for every birthday/Christmas), as in she usually reacts by doing it even more.

I'm just doomed I think to be stuck in this boring text cycle and being woken up earlier than I'd like.

WIBU to start getting a bit creative with my replies? 'I'm fine, thinking about fellating DH later' etc?

Preemptive strike? You can get apps to time text messages. Set up one to automatically message her every morning at 5am "good morning, feeling fine, no plans today". Could show her how annoying she is being.

I'd kind of understand her behaviour if you were on your own but you have DH there. If there was a problem he'd know about it.

Agree with resetting your phone. If she asks, say you've been getting nuisance calls so need to turn your phone off at night ... if you don't want any confrontation.

Glad to hear she's going to text in the evening now. I'd refuse to reply every day, though.

If she ever reverts to early morning texts I'd recommend downloading Delayd and use it to send her the same text every hour on the hour, for, maybe, 24 hours. That would get the message across if nothing else does!

She clearly has anxiety issues. Talking to her about it may be pointless, because anxiety is like an illness that she can't control. She probably thinks she is being completely reasonable and is only faintly aware that her behaviour is intense.

I would not reply for a few days. Never get back to her imediately, and when you do, don't answer her question directly. Just send a polite response "Hi, I'm fine thank you. Hope you are too" x
Then I would just mention in general conversation that you are not someone who carried their phone around or constantly looks at it, and that you are sooo busy, sometimes you forget to reply or don't get back for days. That's quite normal. This expectation that we all respond imediately to text messages is ridiculous.

She will soon give up texting so early every day, when it does not reap the response she craves.

Just a thought, with the advancement of phone features these days I wouldn't be surprised if you were getting these texts automatically and she was still asleep when you get them!

Sorry need to RTFT

Put you phone in flight mode overnight. It will improve your sleep quality too

What's the point in having a phone if loads of people turn them off, flight mode, turn off notifications at night?

As many others have said just use do not disturb. Siblings, parents, partner and kids can call me whenever, everyone else goes straight to voicemail between specified times (mine maybe on 24:7)

Her texts are all about her needs not yours. You are happy and getting on with your life and I would think her daily questioning is a constant reminder of a time you'd rather put behind you.
You don't need any interaction with her at all so just block her number. It's not up to you to fill a need in her life, let her find someone else to cling to.

Text her that continuing to text at antisocial hours when you've been asked not to is harassment t and if it continues you'll have no choice but to report it to the police

Please tell me this is a fucking joke? .

Good point llangennith .

OP, could you tell her that the texts are a constant reminder of a dark time in your life that you're trying to move on from? See if that stops her?

Yes. She sounds like a relative of mine who will do useless things in a crisis (bombard you with texts and demands for updates) but never actually do something helpful. It's all about making herself feel important and at the centre and how concerned she is....and nothing to do with what the person in crisis needs. If this daft cow won't actually see you because your past difficulties upset her, it is definitely all about her. She may well have anxiety but bombarding you after being asked not to is a sign of something else.

*KaosReigns

Preemptive strike? You can get apps to time text messages. Set up one to automatically message her every morning at 5am "good morning, feeling fine, no plans today". Could show her how annoying she is being.*

I really like this one. Just for a few days. She might be more receptive to you asking her to stop by then.

Don't answer. Ever.

When she's phones your DH he says "greenhair is fine, you must stop texting every day".

Repeat every single day and eventually the message will sink in.

My mum can be a little bit like this sometimes. Every now and then I'll get a message from my sister saying 'you need to call mum'. It'll transpire that she's tried to call me while I'm on the tube or something, and then immediately called/texted my sister in a panic: 'Have you spoken to Frieda? Why is her phone off? Why isn't she answering? Is she OK?!' We laugh about it but it can get quite annoying.

It's understandable that your SIL might be worried, but she needs to realise that her daily checking-up is likely to make you feel worse rather than better. It's actually rather selfish of her to demand daily updates just so that she can rest easy knowing you're OK. But it does sound like she may have some mental health issues of her own (a mix of anxiety and OCD perhaps?) so I get that you need to tread carefully.

I hope the evening texts improve things. Maybe you can try to reply a little later each day until she gradually stops expecting a reply at all?

If you don't actually dislike her you could have lunch one day and talk properly. Then, having seen that you're fine, you might be able to ask her to rein back the texts. This is assuming that she's a fundamentally nice but anxious person who just wants to know you're OK.

Simple solution on iPhone. Block caller. Your texts will go through to her. Hers won't come through to you. I know this as DH accidental blocked me and totally got the arse that I wasn't replying

Block at night, unblock when you remember. If she freaks out and annoys her own DH, he may be more inclined to put a stop to it.

If it's every day and been for a while is it possible this is OCD? I have anxiety and OCD which fuels it and part of the compulsive bit is constant checking. Could she have got herself into a compulsion loop where not having the 'checking' completed feeds her anxiety?

Whether it is or not she needs to stop but if it is then she definitely needs to break the compulsion.

"Stop fucking texting me. I am not asking again. This is not in jest."

Ooooh ZOMBIE THREAD