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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aaargh stop texting me.

146 replies

GreenHairDontCare · 02/05/2017 06:43

Every. Fucking. Morning.

At 6am. Even on a Sunday.

Ever since I was in hospital last year, my SIL has taken to sending me the same text every morning asking how I am and what my plans are. If I don't reply within an hour or so she texts again and then panics and starts ringing DH.

I find it really intrusive and tbh I hardly ever have 'plans' beyond the school run so it's all a bit pointless.

My alarm goes off at 7am although I'm usually awake by 6.30. Her texts have been getting earlier and earlier and for the last couple of weeks have been 6am or just before. My phone is on silent but still vibrates, and makes my FitBit vibrate too.

I've started being quite terse in my replies (Fine. No plans.) but she still insists. I don't actually see her, haven't for about a year, but dh has mentioned it being unnecessary and she says it's just because she worries.

She doesn't react well to being asked not to do something (see also huge huge piles of presents for every birthday/Christmas), as in she usually reacts by doing it even more.

I'm just doomed I think to be stuck in this boring text cycle and being woken up earlier than I'd like.

WIBU to start getting a bit creative with my replies? 'I'm fine, thinking about fellating DH later' etc?

OP posts:
newdaylight · 02/05/2017 07:22

Really is odd behaviour. I have no patience for rubbish like this. I wonder how she'll respond now. It sounds like you're going to have to tell her that your blocking her texts for the time being but you'll keep her updated every now and then, eg a message every month or if something happens, then do it

Nogravyforyou · 02/05/2017 07:23

On the IPhone you can mute individual conversations, instead of silencing the entire phone. When you look at screen when you've unlocked it the messages app will have a notification but it won't have popped up on the locked screen or made any noise or vibrate. I use it for a few people.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 02/05/2017 07:23

You do have to wonder whats triggering this behaviour in her.

I think calling her a "fruit loop' etc as people are doing is harsh.

At least she gives a shit. Most people are just wrapped up in thenselves

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 02/05/2017 07:25

Block the number for a couple of days.

Clutterbugsmum · 02/05/2017 07:27

She's DH's brother's wife btw... In that case tell him to tell not to contacting you so early. I would be sending him a text every time she text's you.

I did this to my brother ex wife family. His Ex wife ring ay 3/4 am to berate my mum/me (he didn't live at home), we had told to many times to stop ringing (days before mobiles) so every time she rung us I would her parents and wake them up. Funnily enough it only took a couple of times before it stopped.

bigchris · 02/05/2017 07:28

I think calling her a "fruit loop' etc as people are doing is harsh*

Exactly , I can't understand why dh doesn't talk to his brother and ask him if his wife is okay , surely he needs to know as her behaviour is worrying

Nocabbageinmyeye · 02/05/2017 07:31

Dh's brothers wife??? Oh for god sake why are you pussy footing around this random and putting up with this shit???

"Mary, you need to stop texting me everyday, I really don't want to have to change my number but I will do so on Friday if you don't stop, this is not fair or normal"

I don't get all the turn your phone off replies, why the hell should you? Go to the source of the problem and put on your big girl pants. Have you pointed out to your bil that his wife's behaviour is not normal to a worrying extent?

Kittykatclaws · 02/05/2017 07:33

You need to be firm and tell her that you will block her number if she doesn't stop it!

OnTheRise · 02/05/2017 07:33

If she's been asked not to do this by your husband, and is still doing it, she's not trying to be kind, she's trying to be controlling or difficult. I'm glad you've told her to stop. If she texts again, tell her you're going to block her number if she does it again. And then if she texts again... do it. She can still call your husband if she wants.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 02/05/2017 07:34

Clutterbugsmum suggestion of texting calling/her dh everytime is good, you might wreck his head into getting it sorted

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 02/05/2017 07:36

Has noone heard of diplomacy

AngryGinger · 02/05/2017 07:36

On an iPhone, open a message from
Her and in the top right corner is an i in a circle. Click on that and select "do not disturb." It will only stop notifications coming in from her. She can still contact you but all you'll see is the message on the screen, or however you have your phone set up. I have a couple of people set up like this when I'm at work so my phone doesn't vibrate when I'm working really hard. texting.

Goingtobeawesome · 02/05/2017 07:36

Out her number on do not disturb. No noise then.

NoWordForFluffy · 02/05/2017 07:37

I'd tell her that if she doesn't stop texting you every day / so early, you'll just have to block her as it's really annoying.

She does sound like she has issues of some description, as it doesn't sound like entirely normal behaviour.

Goingtobeawesome · 02/05/2017 07:39

For OnceMore - you can put the SIL on do not disturb and still allow other contacts through.

rollonthesummer · 02/05/2017 07:39

Plus, DH has already asked her to stop and she just brushed him off.

You both need to be much firmer-this is totally bizarre and unacceptable. Why would you put up with it. I think this is worth falling out over-at 5am my sleep is more important to me than her anxiety problems.

What were you in hospital for?

19lottie82 · 02/05/2017 07:41

Put your phone on silent and switch it off vibrate.
Settings - Vibrate when on silent (off)

youarenotkiddingme · 02/05/2017 07:41

Text her that continuing to text at antisocial hours when you've been asked not to is harassment t and if it continues you'll have no choice but to report it to the police.

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 02/05/2017 07:41

Good grief

TheMonkeyandthePlywoodViolin · 02/05/2017 07:42

Yes phone the police Hmm

Trills · 02/05/2017 07:42

If I ask her to stop she'll probably start texting at 5am.

That may be, but you haven't ASKED yet.

If you choose to start ignoring her, tell her first, then when she goes to complain to all of your mutual family and friends about how worried she was, you have already covered yourself.

sexymuthafunker · 02/05/2017 07:42

Get an alarm clock and turn your phone off at night.
Suggest she seeks help with her mental health issues.

Trills · 02/05/2017 07:43

And learn how to use your bloody phone!

Original poster
GreenHairDontCare · 02/05/2017 07:44

She's replied and said she'll text in the evening instead. So that's progress.

I was in hospital after an overdose so I do get the concern, but I have LOTS of support from people I actually see every day. She hasn't seen me since as she finds it too distressing Confused.

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 02/05/2017 07:45

Good text OP. Shame so many in here haven't seen you've sent her a message this morning. Hope she listens to you!

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